RE: Collar Me and socializing

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RE: Collar Me and socializing - 11/21/2011 4:54:32 PM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

Beastie, I have met a few people on Collarme, when I was looking, and I think it is as good a way as any to make initial contact. I wouldn't rule out vanilla dating sites, though, like Plentyoffish and OKCupid. I think it is very possible to throw in some "code" words and find someone there who is also interested in kink, even if they haven't experienced it before.
Don't rule out actually going out and doing things, too. Sounds like you are not the type to sit behind a computer all day. I don't necessarily mean just "social" type events, either. I met the love of my life at one of those classes for a multi state concealed carry permit. You just never know, doing things that interest you can lead to meeting someone who is perfect for you.
By the way, said love of my life scored us a wild goose for Thanksgiving! Yay!

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to werebeastie)

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RE: Collar Me and socializing - 11/21/2011 5:44:01 PM

sheisreeds

Posts: 578
Joined: 7/8/2008
Status: offline

Collarme is great at what it is supposed to be, a personals site. Just sometimes what people are looking for is imaginary.

I have met plenty of real people on collarme, and have plenty of friends with up to date collarme profiles.

These forums are awesome, it's the way the internet used to be, I swear collarme is frozen in the early 2000s . . . but no they don't provide that real sort of human interaction.

Fetlife is a great way to connect with local community, I do believe there is an active community in your area, and if not DC is not that far, nor are some of the VA and Western MD communities. The internet community is more a place of quick fixes, shots in the dark, and actual kinksters being bored. In that sense Collarme is a great internet community.

In terms of using the internet to meet real people, I would recommend carefully going over your profile content. It is quite wordy in places, and you put forth a lot of requirements. Submissives are real people looking for real relationships. To find what we really want we have to be real with ourselves, listing a life partner as a "position" is disingenuous. Though stating you are looking for a girlfriend is equally so. You want a woman who will give herself to you, and allow you to care for her needs and you will direct her in terms of how to care for hers.

This site has never ceased to have a purpose for me. It was a great way to meet people as I was first getting back into the scene. Once I was in a relationship it became a great place to be entertained and inspired. I love this place as an internet community, just as I love my local BDSM community for what it is, though nothing beats my kinky life at home.

_____________________________

~ s.

Oh my darling, give me reason
give me something to believe in

You need a spankin' baby!

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

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Post #: 62

RE: Collar Me and socializing - 11/22/2011 8:10:18 AM

werebeastie

Posts: 146
Joined: 6/2/2011
Status: offline

Semisweet,

Thank you for the advice ... I agreed with you completely. I have actually been making a conscious effort to increase my social circle hehehe beyond simply grabbing me a slave and returning to my cave. I gotten involved in some groups locally both within and beyond the BDSM community. You are correct I am not much for sitting on my keister inside. Things have changed in my life of late and I am taking advantage of it to remake my life and I am having a ball. Life rocks.

Congrats on the goose. Conner got his first deer yesterday and it's being skinned and quartered out back as I write ... the puppy-beasts are going batshit ... talk about proactive begging ... they have all been in multiple times trying to get me to take them out ... I'm sure they would be happy with just the use of my thumbs to turn the door knob but I have used my laughter to harden my heart to their appeals.

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

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RE: Collar Me and socializing - 11/22/2011 8:42:15 AM

werebeastie

Posts: 146
Joined: 6/2/2011
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Hello Reed's,

That was quite nice, thank you. I agree that my profile is a bit "wordy" ... although before I edited it I was told it was too brief hehehe still it says that which I want it to say.

You are not the first to suggest that my description of what I want needs to be altered ... this I will not do as it would be a greater disservice to prospective partners to misrepresent myself or my wants in order to include a greater number of people in my potential response groups. My life is pretty sweet as it is and I am seeking to enhance my life ... I know what I want and am willing to wait for just that one perfect fit ... equally willing to live without it.

Please do not feel as if I am rebuking you or your response; I am not. think yours was one of the better and more sincere responses. Your having touched upon the above topic simply allowed me an opportunity to address it in a non-confrontational arena.

With that said I will ask ... did my response make sense. I really hate to have someone tell me one thing and the reality be another ... I've no desire to BS anyone or to make myself appear other than I am.

(in reply to werebeastie)

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RE: Collar Me and socializing - 11/22/2011 5:10:16 PM

sheisreeds

Posts: 578
Joined: 7/8/2008
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I would argue that it is still important to put one's best face forward, and clarity is everything on the internet.

If your profile is too wordy, then it is not what you want to say.

Also, when it comes to looking for someone you have to post what you really want. To you really want a girl who's going to fill a job posting on collarme, or do you want one that loves you?

If you want one that loves you, how are you going to treat that love?

There are some women who are either pure service subs, out of their minds, or looking for a free lunch that would respond to that kind of posting. Outside of pure service subs (and likely a fraction of those) none are going to love you, because that is not what they are looking for.

The best profiles have limited pretense, because the best stuff in life has none.

Also in not listing the kitchen sink in terms of what you are looking for, that's not being dishonest. Speaking as a woman reading that list would likely turn me off, no matter my kink orientation. People who meet your requirements are likely to not respond, and those who don't are likely to lie and say they do.

Women, and really people in general, don't like being reduced to demographics, and what we fall in love with so rarely has anything to do with demographics. It's all about personality, and we can show ours in a profile, and describe what attracts us.

You get more flies with honey than with vinegar, and good salad dressing has got a bit of both.

Clarity makes a huge difference, like my profile is so genuine and clear that I am NOT looking I NEVER get crazy Dom/sub mail. When I was looking I'd often get a few hundred messages a week, with a good number of those being people I actually had potential to become interested in.

_____________________________

~ s.

Oh my darling, give me reason
give me something to believe in

You need a spankin' baby!

(in reply to werebeastie)

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Post #: 65

RE: Collar Me and socializing - 11/23/2011 6:31:06 AM

werebeastie

Posts: 146
Joined: 6/2/2011
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You challenge my mind ... nice, and thank you. To be honest I do not have the time just now (pardon me for this, it is holiday and I have guests) to give this the time and attention it deserves but I will as quickly as I am able.

(in reply to sheisreeds)

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