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LadiesBladewing -> RE: Is BDSM to popular (5/28/2006 12:53:04 AM)
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I don't feel that BDSM is "too popular". As someone who lived through the "dark ages" of trying to find information before the availability that we have now, I believe that there is a much greater chance for the newcomer and the naive to find both information and assistance to protect themselves as they start out.
What I -have- noticed is that, as information has been provided, people have been much more willing to use only the parts that apply to -their- situation, and let the rest go. Back in "the day", if one didn't follow a given set of protocols, one found oneself with -no- access to the "scene", or, even more dangerous, only access to the -other- individuals who had been shunned, often for good reason, and so, whether it suited or not, everyone followed a pretty rigid set of protocols or we ended up in truly dangerous and potentially life-threatening situations with no-place to turn to find out what was right, wrong, or in-between. Some of us are fortunate to have lived through the experience.
With information comes exploration and expansion. Communication, individual to individual, becomes more important, because the definition of terms expands, and the diversity of the community expands.
Unlike 20 years ago, another individual who practices some aspects of BDSM may have no more in common with the form of lifestyle that I practice than my next-door neighbor, or someone picked at random from the telephone book. This isn't a -bad- thing, but -does- require that each of us take the responsibility to recognize that what -we- are calling something is not necessarily what the individual down the street is calling that same thing, and we must be both able, and willing, to define the way we are using the language, so as not to find ourselves frustrated, angry, hurt, and in a relationship that is -entirely- unsuited to the way that we intended to practice this so-called "lifestyle".
Being one of the individuals who values structure and who has very clear ideas of what I expect from those with whom I participate, it becomes -my- responsibility to associate with groups that share my philosophies. That does not give me the right to define -others- practices, unless those individuals have chosen to practice in concert with myself, nor does it give me the right to denegrate the way others practice. What it -does- do is give me an opportunity to provide useful information, the responsibility to screen out individuals who do not meet my criteria and, if possible, to assist those individuals in finding information more suitable to their way of practice, -and- the responsibility to educate others about the way that I practice, so that if they encounter someone else who follows the path that I do, they will know that there are places to send that person to obtain ACCURATE information about that style of practice.
The greater popularity of this lifestyle gives us so much freedom in interpretation, so that each person can have the aspects of this way of life that suit them best, but it lays a heavy burden of responsibility on those of us who practice, to provide quality information for newcomers and the uneducated. If we choose not to do this, we have nobody but ourselves to blame if people misinterpret or misrepresent aspects of the way that we live.
Da'Avatar ZWD
quote:
ORIGINAL: Bugei
I just sent some advice to a young girl, who called her self a slave, about an inappropriate statement that she had put in her profile. This statement was in effect an order, not a request, to Dominants reading this supposed submissives profile.
Her response makes me wonder if what we do is becoming to popular and attracting the wrong people, or if better communication is required to get over the fundamentals of what we do.
Bugei Master of slave o^^
www.klashaan.org
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