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ORIGINAL: SweetCheri

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If you haven't continued down this deluded path of self grandieur

Pot, may I introduce you to kettle....

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ORIGINAL: MissJaq

Hello, I am Mistress JaQ and i have a good amount of experience humilating and running the lives of pathetic men. But i have encountered something new. One of my slaves cried because of the thought of being released from my authority. I wasnt sure if i shouldve comforted him or punished him.
Please respond to this thread or message me.
Dont be mislead, im a tough fucking women and i dont put up with bullshit, but shedding tears... Struck a peculiar chord in me...
*-Mistress JaQ

MissJaq, sometimes the guys we top get emotionally attached...especially if they "subspace" during play. When you top them, sometimes you are filling a huge empty space they had and they will need you afterward. Be careful who you play with. Find those who only want to bottom for a session or two, or for those who will see you as a friend with benefits. Do not call them your sub or your slave outside of a scene unless you want the emotional dependence and responsibility for caretaking that comes with it.

There are lots of guys who only want to play and want it to stay a no strings thing. If you enjoy this while gaining experience...good for you. I did the same thing early on and had a lot of fun.

As for me, someone who would cry over the thought of being released would likely be a keeper, but then...someone compatible who had an emotional attachment to me was what I was looking for. When I found him, I locked my collar around his neck and kept the keys. He is family now. MINE.

It might help if you make it clear to these men that you are new and still discovering what you like at their expense (yep, I used to tell men that, lol), and that the scene will begin when you place a play collar around their neck, and will end later that day when you remove it. If they space, help them through the subdrop that can happen within a few days afterward. Just listen and do some emotional caretaking if they seem to need it. The guy who cried might have been going through sub drop. Years ago I had a part time sub who thought I was exaggerating and that it would never happen to him. Days later he phoned me from his car, crying for no reason and upset that he was crying for no reason. I listened, calmed him down with reassurances that this was common when the good chemicals from a scene dried up and he went through withdraw. A warm drink, some chocolate, and a nice snuggle while petting their hair often helps.

Sometimes a Domme is something of a mother. Don't be afraid of these moments. Early on I was afraid of someone ripping the rug out from under me, wrecking my newly Dominant headspace. It never happened, but still...I was insecure until enough water passed under the bridge so to speak.

If the guys are pushy and wrecking your headspace, have a long talk with them about it. Let them know you cannot allow them to get away with behaviors that will make you grow to dislike their company over time. Believe me, most will enjoy your Dommely headspace and will not want to send you back into vanilla mode.

Many want to feel free and not weighted down by too many responsibilities at 18. His need of you might make you feel smothered. Personally, I would rather have a gentle but brutally frank talk with someone about it and work things out than to keep my feelings to myself. He needs to know what you need from him, and how exactly he can please you so that you will not release him. If you want him only on weekends, let him know. If he needs more time sitting at your feet quietly while you watch your favorite tv shows...and he is allowed to get up to get you soda, popcorn, or polish your toe nails...maybe you can indulge him and see how you feel in his company.

If he is married and cheating and crying about losing you, all bets are off. Find someone single and closer to your own age.

Welcome to the message boards side of CollarMe.

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The acting like an arrogant know it all? Very much her youth talking. Her thinking she is "oh so special?" Again part of youth

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ORIGINAL: Ninebelowzero

As a subbie type I have a specific question that hopefully Missjaq can answer, it's something that the older ones cannot but I would appreciate a response. Please answer if that's OK Miss Jaq.

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ORIGINAL: MissJaq

I see that the vast majority of you have bashed my age and my authority. This is very common. I dont believe there is a set age to become a Mistress, and in my profile i do claim to want mentors to teach me to better my skills. But this thread has obviously turned into a pride issue and a worthiness issue. My servants tears were genuine and it is true that i questioned whether to punish him or firmly console him. If this thread sincerely offended you, i find that to be quite juvenile. If you think that mentoring a growing Mistress is insulting, then thats rather humorous.

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ORIGINAL: AkaraFang

Hahaha..... ya I don't think I've had one cry yet but I would say it depends on what he wants and I go for calling them losers or being nice, it just depends on what they like.

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ORIGINAL: AkaraFang

Hahaha..... ya I don't think I've had one cry yet but I would say it depends on what he wants and I go for calling them losers or being nice, it just depends on what they like.