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Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 5:20:04 PM   
Ninebelowzero


Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline 		Having been used as a sounding board for a number of important issues for you ladies in private I thought it time to open an official advice line. Just think Oprey with the word cunt used a lot.

Now this is something that keeps being asked by lots of ladies.
Parachuting. Can I do it naked?
Well the answer is a definite yes. You can if you want to risk permanent hearing loss or the risk of needing facial reconstruction.

So let's break this down. Although in a harness those of you with modest to grand boobage are going to haver a lot of love dumplings flapping in the wind, uncontrolled these can give you more facial slaps than 13 rounds with Mike Tyson in the back of his Limo. This might work for the masochistic types out there but not the sadists.
hearing Loss.

Yes ladies nakid freefalling will result in you whistling on the way down. Zero velocity will achieve such high frequencies that your eardrums will puncture & dogs will howl for no apparent reason.

As an addendum I would also add that those ladies of a certain age with labias like spaniels ears stand the risk of permanent stretching. Like Jack Nicholsons the Joker at best or a basking sharks mouth at worst.

Remember ladies I'm here to help.

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More come backs than Frank Sinatra
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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 5:26:56 PM   
tolovetolaugh


Posts: 648
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline 		Dear Unky Niney,
All my friends seem to enjoy hitting me. Am I just abusable, or are my friends assholes?


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That which yields, is not always weak. —
Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel's Dart)

I wrote a porn!
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3840531

(in reply to Ninebelowzero)
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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 5:28:47 PM   
Ninebelowzero


Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline 		are your friends assholes what exactly? I feel your pain & confusion.
quote:

ORIGINAL: tolovetolaugh

Dear Unky Niney,
All my friends seem to enjoy hitting me. Am I just abusable, or are my friends assholes?




_____________________________

More come backs than Frank Sinatra

(in reply to tolovetolaugh)
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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 5:29:29 PM   
tolovetolaugh


Posts: 648
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ninebelowzero

are your friends assholes what exactly? I feel your pain & confusion.
quote:

ORIGINAL: tolovetolaugh

Dear Unky Niney,
All my friends seem to enjoy hitting me. Am I just abusable, or are my friends assholes?




So do I!


_____________________________


That which yields, is not always weak. —
Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel's Dart)

I wrote a porn!
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3840531

(in reply to Ninebelowzero)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 5:31:57 PM   
MissKittyDeVine


Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline 		A strange man has been perving on my profile. He looks a lot like you. Do you have a twin or a doppleganger?

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Sanity is overrated. Live la vida loca

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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 5:33:32 PM   
Ninebelowzero


Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline 		A strange man perving you say? I resemble that remark!
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

A strange man has been perving on my profile. He looks a lot like you. Do you have a twin or a doppleganger?



_____________________________

More come backs than Frank Sinatra

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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 5:50:26 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Can you come over and make my webcam work?

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[page 23 girl]



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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 5:53:39 PM   
Ninebelowzero


Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline 		Alas I am crap with electric voodoo shizzle.

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More come backs than Frank Sinatra

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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 6:15:10 PM   
Delilya


Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline 		How many studs do you think is acceptable for one stable?

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“Love me without fear, trust me without questioning, need me without demanding, want me without restrictions, accept me without changes, desire me without inhibitions"-Dick Sutphen

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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 6:55:50 PM   
RexDarcy


Posts: 597
Joined: 6/23/2010
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		One if that stud is Me.

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"Don't fall away, and leave love bleeding."

"I am who I am today because of choices I made yesterday."

"To bring the pieces back together - rediscover communication."

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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 7:12:51 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		One, otherwise they spend all their time trying to make the others submit to them instead of doing what you want them to do.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 9:25:44 PM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		Dear uncle 9.

I have received a bunch of saucy pictures from beautiful and kinky women.

It's not really a problem as such.

Just wanted to tell someone.

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Hitman for the Subby Mafia

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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 9:51:57 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

And...

Like me, are you bothered by the fact that doctors call what they do "practice" ?

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It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 9:58:25 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Dear "Uncle" Niney (btw, that's what the "friend" of my 4th grade Math teacher wanted me to call him - "Uncle" Jim.)

Anyway - - -

Dear "Uncle" Niney;
Please tell us the story "behind" your username.
Regards, Lance
P.S.  If we sit at your knee, head in your lap, does the story get "longer"?

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 10:25:33 PM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		Ninebelowzero are a kickarse mod band.
They took their name from a Sonny Boy Williams song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6X01NnAbyIg

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Hitman for the Subby Mafia

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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 10:33:50 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Uncle Niney, what do you call a man who must brag about his pictorial conquests to all and sundry?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 10:36:40 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Delilya
How many studs do you think is acceptable for one stable?

It depends on how many stalls you want to build.  Holding each of those 2-by-4s in place will probably take, I don't know.... 8 or so nails.

Oh, wait,... the question was "studs per stable."  Again, depands on how elaborate the stable.  It's basically useless to try and make walls by covering the studs.  Inside the house, of cousre that's what you want to do.....

Oh, wait.... THAT kind of studs.... Well, for my stable, I've always thought ... one handy-man, one house-keeper / butler / valet, CHAUFFER - required,  prep cook, .... pool-man (if there's a pool)

Stable size = $ at hand.  Will check lotto tickets Sunday and let you know. LOL!

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to Delilya)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 10:41:45 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Uncle Niney, what do you call a man who must brag about his pictorial conquests to all and sundry?

tazzy, tazzy, tazzy.. I am SO sorry to be the one to tell you that that "man who must brag about his pictorial conquests" was NOT speaking of photos when he was saying "to all and sundry," that over the week-end he must have had at least three good shooting sessions.... and those were NOT gun-oriented either, but you're getting closer - at least the right shape of what he used to shoot with. LOL! 

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/25/2011 10:52:48 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Huh? I was speaking about MadAxe.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Ask Uncle Niney. - 11/26/2011 1:57:43 AM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		'Sir' will do.


_____________________________

Hitman for the Subby Mafia

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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