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??? - 5/28/2006 2:24:57 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		I apologize, I should have labelled this clearly as a rant in the post title...my second one; either enjoy or ignore...

Having read these boards for awhile now and alot of threads, opinions, perspectives...I have come to wonder. I do that, sorta comes with my personality... I see a wide variety of approaches and alot of disagreement from everything to rules, punishment, kink, etiquette, discipline, definitions, pretty much everything. Am I dominant enough? Are they really a submissive? What is a slave? God, I miss the old days where everything was <fill-in-the-blank>...you're a fake, I'm a real...and sometimes just peronality conflicts, fuck ups which are aired, abandonment, abuse, predators, victims, wannabes, blah-blah-blah...

I've posted some thoughts, some personal shit, some perspectives...mostly I have entered into conversation; some feel I have something to say, some think I am full of shit, some like me, some have come to hate me...in starting on this board I had stated that I was new to defining myself within these parameters, though my personality traits and the way that my relationship dynamics and expectations have been very closely aligned to quite a bit which can be found here...it was just recently that I found a vocabulary for what I have experienced. The reason I had embraced these concepts, is in some ways it gave a clearer understanding to who I am and for others to deal with me in a interpersonal manner; it also gave me a way to dsicuss matters which wouldn't necessarily be understood with others in my life.

Still, this is my life; I have many roles which I fulfill; in many different settings...I find that I choose to maintain a certain core which can be understood as 'me' or my personality; I react in many different ways, depending on my circumstances...to differing degrees; I have developed a certain belief structure, which though open to change as I experience and grow tends to guide me...in my actions with others I have hurt some, I have made friends, enemies...etc. I have made my own karma and am responsible for my own actions, etc.

The point to my rant? As in any aspect of life, this element of life, relationship, whatever...just plain kink if you will; has a differing point of importance, element to everyone involved; your rulebook won't work for me and my guidelines won't mean a good goddamn to you; if you want your sub to only speak when spoken to and I expect mine to speak openly with me and enjoy her calling me on my shit and your Dom insists on being called Lord and her Dom prefers to be called by his first name...who the fuck is 'right'? I find the more informative and enlightening discussions are those which are not focused on our differences but rather on the common elements, not only as humans but those interested in certain aspects of what we are with-in "BDSM" or whatever...sometimes it sounds like a bunch of people from different denominations getting worked up over some small element of doctrine and forgetting what their faith claims to be...or take a Wiccan example, or Goth example, or a political example...

So just wondering...Why are you actually here?

C

BTW...I was not really here, this message has been an online hallucination, back to my cleaning...



< Message edited by CERCKL -- 5/28/2006 2:37:25 PM >

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 2:31:43 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

So just wondering...Why are you actually here?

C

BTW...I was not really here, this message has been an online hallucination, back to my cleaning...




Sorry, I'm sure it's just me, but after all that, which "here" are you asking about? CM or the forums?

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 2:31:46 PM   
genvieve


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline 		Goodness, what a lot of ranting there.  Rather than adressing each and every point involved, i believe that i'll chose to answer the last question.
 
i am here because i enjoy a sense of community with those of common interests.  i am here because i enjoy feedback on topics i'm curious about.  i'm here because i like to talk about myself?  lol  No, no... i'm here because i like to internalize things.  At times, while i am posting my message...i am making up my mind on the topic at the same time.  -laughs-  Are my writer gills showing now?
 
Thanks for posting this topic, i'll be interested to see further responses.
 
-genvieve

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 3:25:51 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

So just wondering...Why are you actually here?



For a sense of community.

We lost our local one through political BS and jealousy issues that exploded about a year after I left any position of authority in it. I had confirmation that some people were saying nasty things about my family and it is my job as the mistress and the dominant person in this family to protect it. I spoke up and then we left the community to sit and spin and eventually decay into whatever the hell it is now.

But I missed having folks to talk to and hearing a variety of opinions and experiences. Once my newsgroups disappeared (I don't know if they did or I merely lost all access) I asked some folks I still knew and valued and they suggested Collarme.com

Now I don't feel so alone. And folks whom I consider annoying or whatever, I'm sure folks think of me like that and its actually much easier to ignore them online than when they are at a workshop or a munch.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 3:33:32 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I'm here to learn all I can, make friends, a place for me to vent, laugh, all within a place that understands my "lifestyle" and doesnt judge me and tell me I'm weird and I'm sick in the head because of how I live my life.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 3:48:50 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

I'm here to learn all I can, make friends, a place for me to vent, laugh, all within a place that understands my "lifestyle" and doesnt judge me and tell me I'm weird and I'm sick in the head because of how I live my life.



Ditto

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 3:53:52 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		At risk of getting put back on moderations or perhaps banned again I think your a fool.

If everyone agreed and had the same ideas then what would make us human and not robots?

Also what is really the point of your whole thread? To tell us you have a differing view of the lifestyle? I think by the way that your said your made enemies and such fourth we would of already picked up that you don't think the same as everyone else.

Now why am I here for?... To have a good time and find out things that I want to know and hopefully not put up with idiots abusing each other or making worthless threads which I will end up spamming. So I guess I will see you later on today when  I get home from work ..

Cheers


(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 4:00:29 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		I'm here therefore I am.

Okay seriously.
I am here on CollarMe to:
#1 Find submissives.
#2 Learn a thing or two along the way.
#3 Maybe help someone else at some point.
#4 Meet like minded People,thats almost redundant to #1.


_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 4:09:24 PM   
givemyall


Posts: 620
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL


So just wondering...Why are you actually here?





ermmmmmm........ because I like it !

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 4:12:24 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

At risk of getting put back on moderations or perhaps banned again I think your a fool.


Fool, n. A person who pervades the domain of intellectual speculation and diffuses himself through the channels of moral activity. He is omnific, omniform, omnipercipient, omniscient, omnipotent. He it was who invented letters, printing, the railroad, the steamboat, the telegraph, the platitude, and the circle of the sciences. He created patriotism and taught nations war--founded theology, philosophy, law, medicine, and Chicago. He established monarchical and republican government. He is from everlasting to everlasting--such as creation's dawn beheld he fooleth now. In the morning of time he sang upon primitive hills, and in the noonday of existance headed the procession of being. His grandmotherly hand has warmly tucked-in the set sun of civilization, and in the twilight he prepares Man's evening meal of milk-and-morality and turns down the covers of the universal grave. And after the rest of us shall have retired for the night of eternal oblivion he will sit up to write a history of human civilization.
- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Thank you...

quote:

  If everyone agreed and had the same ideas then what would make us human and not robots?

 
Part of my point...I wasn't questioning that other people had differing opinions...I was attempting to point out that instead of discussing those points, it gets into a I'm right and your wrong tantrum. As for the robot analogy, that might lead to interesting discussions regarding AI advancements...perhaps more of a golem analogy would work better...
 I enjoy alot of the discussions here regarding everything from practical advice regarding things I have no experience in, to the more intellectual, theoretical differing views regarding spirituality, ethics, etc...even the play in the 'Polls and Other Random Stupidity'...I have no desire for anyone to agree/disagree etc with me and as I stated I enjoy communicating with those with the similar framework, understanding...was just poking at the habit of the 'who is correct' current which seems to flow at times.
 
As I edited to add, this was just a rant:
 
RANT

v., rant·ed, rant·ing, rants.

v.intr.
To speak or write in an angry or violent manner; rave.
v.tr.
To utter or express with violence or extravagance: a dictator who ranted his vitriol onto a captive audience.
n.
  1. Violent or extravagant speech or writing.
  2. A speech or piece of writing that incites anger or violence: “The vast majority [of teenagers logged onto the Internet] did not encounter recipes for pipe bombs or deranged rants about white supremacy” (Daniel Okrent).
  3. Chiefly British. Wild or uproarious merriment.

[Probably from obsolete Dutch ranten.]

From American Heritage Dictionary

C

shrug.
 
Edited to catch most of my misspelling... 

< Message edited by CERCKL -- 5/28/2006 4:22:57 PM >

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 4:16:30 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

So just wondering...Why are you actually here?



Honestly, I'm enjoying learning how other people live their lives under the umbrella of BDSM, M/s, S&M, and D/s. It gives me a chance to seriously consider many different aspects of this lifestyle without being in the middle of a scene negotiation while I'm doing it.

I'm also looking for an Dom/Master/Owner. The more I learn from everyone, the better I'll be able to spot "The ONE" when he shows up.

Meeting new people from different areas helps me see how people outside of my local community interact and define terms too.

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 4:40:45 PM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline
This is precisely why I *like* exclusive groups, special interest group, and sub-forums.

Being "here" at collarme... if this were the only place I came to discuss the lifestyle, I would end up medicated and in a straight-jacket. This is one the most diverse places I've ever been to regarding BDSM. This is the only place I've ever been to where Dominants actually get offended if someone calls them "Ma'am" or "Sir". It's the only place I've ever been to where the health and safety forums are the least frequented. And the only place I've ever been to that is laden with so many submissives questioning their place. Collarme forums really are the epitomy of diversity. The only person really not made to feel welcome here is the vanilla cone wanker whose first post insults at least 3 different kinks, one group, speaks to hiss 99 years of experience, and claims he knows the "true and real" way.

Most lifestyle groups, both online and real time, that I have delved into, even briefly, have a more defined environment. Some will have a "glossary" of sorts where basic lifestyle terms are defined, and members tend to not chop away at those terms but use them with the same assuredness they would other words of language. Some have set protocols about forms of address. It may be very simple and light protocol or intensely high protocol. Some have entrance standards members must adhere to. Hell, even most munches I've been to, have something as basic as colored nametags to denote one's role.

Collarme is constructed, for better and worse, of a LOT of people, who have a LOT of differing opinions, very few guidelines, no required etiquette or protocol, and no screening process. On the plus side, I can come here and learn a lot of information from a lot of different people, about a lot of different things. I get breadth in knowledge. On the down side, I also have to wade through a lot of arguing, a lot of disagreement, a lot of semantics, and alot of stuff I find distasteful. I can not get any decent depth of knowledge.

Since my main focus is power exchange, a special M/s, high protocol, real time interest group is great for me, and I can settle down in one, with people who share my common beliefs, interests, and definitions. The members much better understand me. All 8 of them. But when lifestyle topics that veer from power exchange come up, I'm only going to be able to absorb the knowledge of those 8 people, and hope that 1 or 2 have some experience.

However, if I'm sitting pondering whether or not lesbian ponygirls who consider themselves furries ever engage in age play that includes spitting, bet your ass I can start a thread here at collarme and even on a slow day, get at least 10 replies. Of course some Bozo will waltz in and tear up the grammar of my question. And some high and mighty Domly Dom/me of the Gods is going to twist my words around to imply that I implied that lesbian ponygirls imply that age players are repugnant criminals. And at least one smart ass is going to offer me a carrot or something along those ludicrous lines. But overall, I'm going to get some kind of general idea of where some people stand on my question. And some of them probably have a better background to speak on the subject than everyone in my exclusive little 8 person high protocol group.

And on some days, when I'm fed up with my son not having filled the ice-cube trays, and my paycheck is 3 days later than the due date on my bills, and the cat won't get off the friggin keyboard, there's a good chance that I'll be the one to fill the role of the grammar clown, the omnipotent Goddess, or the smart ass offering a carrot. But overall, my presence might be a bit helpful to those who are questioning, and overall, I'm thankful to learn from those who are answering. My little exclusive home-based group gives me a place I belong. Collarme gives me a place I can learn.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 4:55:18 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The point to my rant? As in any aspect of life, this element of life, relationship, whatever...just plain kink if you will; has a differing point of importance, element to everyone involved; your rulebook won't work for me and my guidelines won't mean a good goddamn to you; if you want your sub to only speak when spoken to and I expect mine to speak openly with me and enjoy her calling me on my shit and your Dom insists on being called Lord and her Dom prefers to be called by his first name...who the fuck is 'right'?


Why does anyone have to be "right?" 
 
I'm here because, of all the discussion forums to which I belong, this one is the least burdened with politics, infighting, dick thumping and tongue wagging.  The people here are, for the most part, genuine in the way they present themselves (as human beings first, and whatever D/s label they give themselves second).  I enjoy the debate, the differences, the variety of styles.  I also enjoy the silliness and the emotional outpouring (even though I'm probably not the most sympathetic person in the world).  I've been on other discussion forums with some of the folks here, and I've met a couple others in person at munches or events, and I'm comfortable sharing things here that I don't feel I can share elsewhere.
 
 

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 5:16:00 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Why does anyone have to be "right?"



Exactly...it just seemed silly to me after being gone for a bit and coming back to check in for a short period to recognize the bickering; no attempts to discuss rather "it's done this way" , "No, it isn't", "yes, this is the true way" thing going on...

I realize some like protocol, some are more 'casual'; some have 'X' as a hard limit and others think 'Y'; some get wet/hard just thinking about 'A' while others find it disturbing; what you do with yours and I do with mine are different, or not...it just seemed at the moment I was in when I did the original 'OP' that this was just silly...

Overall, I have read alot from people who try to discuss, comment, learn etc with out the tantrums...just must've hit the wrong threads at the moment...

This was in no way a slam at any individual...just a rant. No real rants were hurt or used in this posting...

C

< Message edited by CERCKL -- 5/28/2006 5:18:19 PM >

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 5:18:46 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		I'm here because I was promised cheese, and I'll be damned if I leave until I get it.

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 5:25:11 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I'm here because I was promised cheese, and I'll be damned if I leave until I get it.


If you send me your mailing address, I would be happy to mail you some...Sharp Cheddar perhaps? Thanks for the outloud laughter caused...
Good to see you,

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 7:03:52 PM   
apb


Posts: 103
Joined: 9/21/2005
Status: offline 		I'm here to hang out ... learn ... ask those stupid questions I would rather not ask my Domme ... meet folks ... read others experiences ... prehaps share some of my own ..

I am sure there are people here who hate me too, think I am full of shit, or just plain boring.  However, I am not here to flame anyone, put anyone down or laugh at someone else's expense.

If I ever get as disillusioned with this site as some folks clearly are - I will just quietly go away ...


_____________________________

~ apb

"This is who I am - you can like it or not. You can love me or leave me 'cos I'm never gonna' stop."
~ Madonna

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 7:36:51 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Hi Cerckl!..well let me see if I can answer your question in an intelligient,thoughtful,insightful manner....................ok maybe I was expecting too much of myself today...how about, if I understand what you are saying (and believe me,I am in a DUH state of mind)....I believe that the answer is everyone is right.......from the perspective of their lives and parameters...the forums are not a matter of who is right and wrong.....(though everyone knows I am always right!)..it is a matter of gleening those nuggets of info that you do not have..those sudden lightbulbs appearing above your head when all of a sudden someone says something that may pertain to you or your life...Why am I here?..for the same reason..a small sense of shared interests,differing opinions,many hilarious moments in these the Days of our Lives...oops..wrong forum!...and of course to hear you Cerckl rant ,and make you laugh...be well...Tempting

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 9:16:26 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
Hello A/all,

If I was not here, where would I be?

"No matter where you go, there you are."  Buckaroo Banzai.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

So just wondering...Why are you actually here?



_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: ??? - 5/28/2006 9:18:53 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Ditto.  Couldn't have said it any better.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

I am here on CollarMe to:
#1 Find submissives.
#2 Learn a thing or two along the way.
#3 Maybe help someone else at some point.
#4 Meet like minded People,thats almost redundant to #1.

(in reply to MistressSassy66)
Profile   Post #: 20
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