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Begging release - 5/28/2006 2:51:22 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		 
One thought leads to another.. then curiosity gets the best of me. This question would pertain to those whom feel they must beg for release from a collar rather than just leave the relationship which is no longer working:

Specifically, this thought came to my mind (hypothetically speaking) upon reading another thread in which honesty and integrity of a Master was questioned and the slave in question no longer had the desire to belong to this individual. This slave has decided to beg release due to the fact that the slave felt the Owner was not being honest. The question is this.. if such an Owner were, indeed, being less than honest and truthful but still desired to keep the slave, what would the slave do if, upon begging release from their collar, such release was not granted? What is the purpose of 'begging for release' if, no matter what happens, you will no longer be the slave of a particular person? Have you not, in effect, already released yourself and the begging is merely ritualized closure?

Celeste


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 3:10:19 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear BitaTruble, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Begging a release from a collar is a ritual indeed.  It is for closure of an existing relationship.
 
But, as you pointed out so well, if a slave has lost the "desire" to serve a dominant/owner, the relationship is dying anyway.  The only thought on why a dominant would refuse, is to attempt to ammend the situation and give it another chance.  However, begging release doesn't have to have a negative cause and or effect.
 
My fondness for military men is known.  In one case, the slave begged release from my collar due to his change in assignments that was going to put a strain on us as M/s.  His assignment was such, that he did not need the distractions of the M/s relationship.  I didn't want to release him but, I knew I must release him.  This was before personal computers and global networking was so headache free.  We parted on wonderful terms.  He needed to have closure, loose ends tidy.  I still grieve the lose of the special relationship we had.  He was killed in action overseas and was unable to return back to his position as slave to me.  So, I view begging for release in different ways.
 
Sometimes people beg relief when they haven't hit the 'glass ceiling' of their growth.  If the dominant is at that ceiling and a slave has higher growth potential, slaves can certainly beg for release.  It isn't an ugly situation.  More like allowing a caged bird the freedom to fly higher per se.  Sometimes it is more an act of love to accept a slave's desire for release, as a dominant knows their limits and does not hinder a slave as they grow and reach for their stars.
 
Indeed, there are times when begging release is due to terrible situations.  Of course so many emotions are involved.  I've seen slaves who won't let go as well as dominants.  So, I'm sure it will be a case by case situation.
 
 

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 3:11:01 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		Cannot answer as a submissive...seems to me, yes, ritual, nothing more...she takes the collar off, returns it, throws it away, burns it and drinks a double shot of bourbon...whatever...if the relationship has ended with that type of finality and there is no communication to repair things...begging doesn't mean more than the catharsis of the motions.

C



_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 3:13:16 PM   
corsair


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline 		this is a good thought.  yes I believe if you have to beg for release then in your mind you are already released.  but if that is what the slave wishes to do then it should be done as at least showing the respect that needs to be given even thought it has not been given from the Dom. it is a matter of respecting yourself. once you have begged for it and it is not given out of respect for you then you may walk away with no guilty thoughts or feelings   

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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 3:14:55 PM   
leakylee


Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		This is actually a good topic. A sensitive one, but still good. I can only speak from expeirence. It really is ritualized closure, but I know that for me it came down to a closure of control. There was a such a mental aspect of control between myself and my owner that simply breaking things off didnt work. I still "felt" him no matter what. So in requesting the release, it represented a transefer of control back to myself. (not saying that it doesn't sound silly) But that is how my brain choose to work. It truly was a symbolic matter, but it did help bring closure.

Happy Holiday Weekend

love and light
lee


_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 3:30:09 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		As you know Celeste, I think release shouldn’t be something to beg for. IMO, "Never more" is the end all of the M/s relationship. Once you have reached the point of wanting to be released you servility will become a burden. If the relationship trust has been broken it is very hard to reestablish that trust, you will always be watchful and leery of the trust being broken again. There are many instances where I feel the sub/slave should say "never more" and walk away free of obligation, responsibility, guilt, and reprisal.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 5:08:13 PM   
genvieve


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline 		Honestly?  i believe it to be respectful.  you are showing your Dominant the respect you believe He or she earned.  An equally respectful Dominant would grant it.
 
It's a lot like giving your 2 weeks notice rather than quitting.

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 5:43:49 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs
In one case, the slave begged release from my collar due to his change in assignments that was going to put a strain on us as M/s. His assignment was such, that he did not need the distractions of the M/s relationship. I didn't want to release him but, I knew I must release him.


I will be experiencing something similar. It's not here yet, but it's coming, only a matter of time. We're going to talk about it tomorrow. It will be a new experience for me, actually. I'm not used to having a sub leave on other than my timetable. The fact that I have an adorable new puppy does nothing to dissipate the sense of loss from losing someone who has given me all of himself, physically, mentally, and emotionally for over a year. I can only hope a ritual will help.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 7:28:59 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear Misstoyou, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
When parting ways, such as military assignments or other issues that makes it a parting of ways that must be done, will be a gut tear for you both.
 
I'm an affectionate sort anyway, so I take it hard regardless.  I know it has to be done but, it isn't anything short of trauma on the emotional level.  Hopefully, the lad will return home and reclaim his/her place. 
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 7:30:11 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		It is also called "enmeshment" or drama for short...

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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 7:36:16 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		CrappyDom--
 
When you have somebody you care about have their guts blown to bits in battle--It isn't drama. 
 
And...for somebody who can't stand anything I write, I see you're reading--so go bloody stuff a sock in it.
 
Happy Memorial Day.

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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 7:50:15 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I realize you are the center of the world and when you move the earth wobbles on its axis but if you look down at your feet, those little dots that move are other people and a number of them have posted in this thread.  My response was a general one to the OP not to you as it has been sometime since you have written anything I felt was worth responding to.

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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 7:55:44 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Geez Celeste, I see a thread under your name with this title and I panicked!

What an interesting question.  While I don't envision ever begging release, I can say if I did it would likely be granted, after much discussion.  Master has made it clear, he only wants a slave who wants to be his slave.  If I didn't want to serve him anymore, he wouldn't want to keep me.  He abhors the thought of non-consentual slavery in any form, and isn't about to change that.  At the same time, if I begged release (geez I don't even like thinking about that), he would want to know why, and would first determine if whatever the issue was could be or should be fixed.  So, he would put the answer on hold until making such a determination. If he said no...I would likely stay.  He isn't known for his lyng and such, so I would trust his effort to try to work it out.

I liked Leakylee's post, by the way.  Rather thank just walking away, it is a way of transfering control and power back. What an interesting way of looking at it.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 7:57:15 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Celeste....no one in there right mind would release you...
that said....
Slave's /  submissives's have a mind of their own.
It is NOT all about ME/US DOMS  it is about mutual consent.

Always is and always should be....
Winks at you and grabs a flogger, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 8:49:56 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		::chuckles:: Thanks Kevin ..  and Owned (giggles again) nah, wasn't thinking about me with this one so don't panic!!

I would like to thank everyone who responded.. especially lee and corsair as they pretty much gave me information based on the questions I had.. I hadn't thought about the ability to release guilt for the slave along with the release from the collar.. and that makes sense... and Loki, yes.. I do know how you think on this issue and it is much the way that I, personally, would operate.. quick, clean, no fuss, no muss, but I don't see it ever happening in my case. I'm nutso over Himself and he'll either have to kick my ass out or kill me to get rid of me. ;) I made scratch brownies for dessert tonight.. so I'm good for at least 3 more days. ::chuckles::

I agree with most here.. a Dominant is probably not going to want to keep a slave who doesn't want to be there either and would release those who asked. It would be interesting to see another perspective from a dominant who would 'not' release a submissive who had made the request. I don't remember if I read this elsewhere .. or if it was a thread here, but I seem to recall someone saying that a submissive or slave had asked for release and the dominant said no.. to give it 30 days.. and if the submissive would beg for release every day for 30 days, it would be granted at the end of that month. I think, for a long term relationship, that might be a good idea.. it gives the parties a chance to have a cooling off period without making rash decisions so that release comes from a place other than raw emotion.

Thanks again for the differing perspectives everyone. :)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to fastlane)
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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 9:02:45 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear BitaTruble,
 
Thank you for a good thread to savor.
 
I agree and did mention, that the only reason why a dominant would say no to a release, is to give time to make ammends.  In general, any relationship takes patience as much as communication.
 
Again-- good thread.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 9:39:37 PM   
leakylee


Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		hey Ownedgirlie,
This acts as a reminder to keep mold handy for brain to keep it solid. This will hopefully alievate any further instances of brainmelt. That is a rather nasty bussines. It can create mess. It is hell to clean up...hehe..

love and light
lee


_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

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RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 9:42:53 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Yes, Lady Hugs.. thank you. My apologies for not mentioning that.. it is a very good idea. :)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Begging release - 5/28/2006 9:52:19 PM   
SirMise


Posts: 33
Joined: 5/3/2006
Status: offline 		Please release me let me go;;;;damn country songs.  I dunno Celeste?
Obviously your Master has a firm hand on you...you should be proud and know you are not going to be released
hugs and smiles.. anonymous

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RE: Begging release - 5/29/2006 1:50:44 AM   
majicatt


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/29/2004
Status: offline 		Begging release can provide closure.  Especially if it's a situation where the Dominant one has repeatedly made bad decisions that has resulted in the loss of respect.   Once respect is lost, trust soon follows accompanied by anxiety and the need to be free of the incompetent Owner.  

Maji

_____________________________

Life is hard. It's harder if you are stupid. John Wayne

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