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RE: Begging release - 5/29/2006 1:55:59 AM

fullofgrace

Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
Status: offline

i haven't read through all the posts, so i'm not sure if anyone has mentioned this yet, but it could be a last show of respect or service from the slave. to ask for release from a master shows that one still respects that master as the role s/he plays in relation to the slave, whether or not the slave feels they can trust the master or even wishes to serve them anymore. it shows, to me, a very high regard for the slave's role in the relationship, in that they first attempt to seek release from the relationship in a ritualized manner, with permission from the master while s/he is still their master, instead of taking their freedom into their own hands.

i'm not sure if i'm making much sense at all as it's...early...and i'm very tired, but that's just my two cents. :)

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Post #: 21

RE: Begging release - 5/29/2006 4:37:55 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

Greeting bitatrouble

If the Master is not begin honest and you ask for release, if
he does not get it to you then leave. It would not be good to stay
with a liar, just leave and if you do not feel safe leaving. There
are ways to leave when he is not home or if it comes to safety
then you MUST call the police. It is sad that a Master would not be
honest to his slave or submisssive. take care

mons/jane

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 22

RE: Begging release - 5/29/2006 5:04:18 AM

ayasha

Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline

To beg for release, and it not be granted, is hell. This hell continues even after the release is eventually granted, at least for a period of time. There is the guilt that is experienced from the failed relationship, from having begged to be Owned now am begging to be released - what kind of slave does that? Regardless of what happened, isn't one supposed to be collared for life? A slave is not supposed to leave when the going gets tough, is not supposed to leave because things are not to her liking. But..........this is life, this is reality - and sh-- happens.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 23

RE: Begging release - 5/29/2006 7:02:40 AM

gardenbluebird

Posts: 131
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

i was once in a relationship where He simply didn't have (or make) time for me. i didn't beg for release, but i did respectfully ask for it. Unfortunately via email which was my one way to communicate with him. i fell that asking for release is the respectful way for a sub to end a relationship. He didn't respond, so i simply released myself.

Several months later he tried to reclaim me, saying that he had never released me. i had already found happiness with another and i felt threatened by the intrusion. After asking nicely that he leave me alone didn't seem to work, i simply stated that i didn't like Him, didn't want Him, and any further contact would be considered stalking and i would treat it as such. i never heard from Him again. Thank goodness, but that was an ugly breakup.

(in reply to majicatt)

Post #: 24

RE: Begging release - 5/29/2006 8:08:09 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

When I feel the need to be released, it will be because of a problem such as lying, cheating or neglect. I will have discussed or attempted to discuss my feelings prior to that point. At that time, I will tell him that I no longer wish to be with him and why, and then I am gone. Once those lines are crossed, he no longer deserves my submission or my respect. Other reasons have yet to materialize for me, so I can't say with any certainty what I would do.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to gardenbluebird)

Post #: 25

RE: Begging release - 5/29/2006 8:50:47 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

I'm the type to simply leave a relationship. I've only left one relationship in which a collar was was involved, I respectfully and honestly stated my reasons for ending the relationship, but it was not so much a request...as a statement as to why i thought it best to go our seperate ways.
I can understand the desire for closure, but maybe i'm splitting hairs . "Begging" for release as opposed to just ending the relationship seems unneccessary. Regardless of the dynamic of the relationship be it M/s, D/s or vanilla, both parties must be consentually participating in order to have a relationship.
.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 26

RE: Begging release - 5/29/2006 10:02:31 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

When I wanted to be released and he wouldnt do it, I released myself. He told me he would never release me, so I knew I had to do it all on my own. That is just me, etc...smiles

_____________________________

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 27

RE: Begging release - 5/29/2006 11:23:56 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

The question is this.. if such an Owner were, indeed, being less than honest and truthful but still desired to keep the slave, what would the slave do if, upon begging release from their collar, such release was not granted? What is the purpose of 'begging for release' if, no matter what happens, you will no longer be the slave of a particular person? Have you not, in effect, already released yourself and the begging is merely ritualized closure?

Celeste

If I begged release and didn’t get it then I would stay with him. It would suck but I’d probably try to find ways to make it bearable.

For us, the begging release is not about closure, but about acknowledging that the existence of the relationship is dependent on the dominants say so. I know my owners personality pretty well and I know that if I asked release chances are I would get it, so for me to ask for release would mean that I’m at the end of my rope and can’t figure out a way for things to work. But at the end of the day, to me begging for release is still making a request that can be denied.

C~

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 5/29/2006 11:24:28 AM >

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(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 28

RE: Begging release - 5/29/2006 5:44:10 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

Celeste,

this slave believes that it speaks to the integrity of the slave, and the depth of the commitment that one makes when one becomes slave...otherwise, it is just another vanilla relationship~everything is equal, one leaves when one is "through" or "dissapointed enough", or "unfulfilled" and any promise to belong, obey, through sickness and health yadda yadda death do us part~ is conveniently dismissed.

this slave can only imagine begging release from Master if she felt she had failed Him, not that He had failed her...then again, this slave does not "require" things of Master such as Complete and Total Disclosure Upon Request or Sexual Fidelity, therefore it would be impossible for Master to Lie or Cheat, under those circumstances.

this slave is completely comfortable, however, with being brutally honest and completely devoted and loyal to Him and Him alone. there is no desire to hide anything from Him, there is nothing that service to Him does not provide...this slave reached a point in her life where if folks were THAT determined to Lie, then so be it, and CHEAT distinctly implies a rule that was disobeyed..this slave makes no rules for Master.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 29

RE: Begging release - 5/29/2006 6:36:59 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

Would a master really wish to keep a sub who no longer wished to serve?

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Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 30

RE: Begging release - 5/29/2006 7:17:00 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Would a master really wish to keep a sub who no longer wished to serve?

Aside from legal and moral issues, there's the not insignificant issue of one's personal safety.

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www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 31

RE: Begging release - 5/29/2006 8:41:53 PM

BAALandEbed

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

Going to add a slight twist to this discussion:

I believe that a submissive or slave has the right to revoke their collar and the control that collar represents at any time but particularly if the slave is no longer able to serve or feels that their dominant has put their physical/mental health at risk.
This isn't a theoretical comment on my part. An ex treated me in a manner that was disrespectful to me as a woman and as a slave. I did not want to give him that collar, as much as he'd hurt me, because doing so was final. There was no going back from that point. Giving up a collar is serious business, if you take the M/s lifestyle seriously but quite frankly, I waited months too long to give up that collar.
I don't like to say that a slave gives up all rights. I think that a slave still has the right to return that collar and walk away if the situation demands it. Begging for release seems like an unnecessary geature but ritualized probably gives some a much needed sense of closure.

(in reply to majicatt)

Post #: 32

RE: Begging release - 5/30/2006 7:27:29 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
What is the purpose of 'begging for release' if, no matter what happens, you will no longer be the slave of a particular person? Have you not, in effect, already released yourself and the begging is merely ritualized closure?

Celeste

My answer has been and remains "I don't know."

As one who HAS asked for release before, it's a pretty harsh experience. I'm very grateful that I was released voluntarily on their part.

But I'm really not sure what I would have done if they said no. I'm not sure I'd ever be able to feel myself enslave to someone again if I left without being released.

I do know that when I think about it, I get very agitated and upset and go into a very bad place and thus just try and avoid thinking about it much.

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(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 33

RE: Begging release - 5/30/2006 8:55:26 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

This has been an interesting thread and has reaffirmed my thought that asking for "Asking for Release" is a ritualistic process that brings closure for the slave/submissive. For many I think this closure can be an important step for a person's emotional growth. Others such a step maybe entirely unnecessary It really is an individual thing and no one should be judged less or more for doing it or not doing it. However, "Asking for Release" is much different than communicating that the relationship is over. I think it shows good character when a person, be they Dominant or Submissive communicate that they are ending the relationship. I believe that those who slip out in the dark without giving an clear and open communication that the relationship is ended show alot of cowardice. Now this is all dependent on the relationship being an unabusive relationship. In abusive relationships, the abused is often not emotional strong enough to confront their abuser and can only end the abuse by leaving by the back door. I suspect that those abused that are able to confront their abusers have a much easier time overcoming the experience than those that are unable to.

Now as far as a Dominant/Master that says "NO" to release. Well there is this Leather Master that is enjoying a small room for the next 20 some years becuase he said "No" to his boy when he asked for release. Unconsensual slavery has it's consequences!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 34

RE: Begging release - 5/30/2006 9:18:29 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

LA<

It is the same with any relationship in some ways...someone refuses to give the other closure. To me that is what a dominant that refuses to release a submissive is doing, refusing to give that submissive what they need to go on.

As someone who was in that situation, I did it and it took me a few months of not speaking to him to do it. It was hard, but the human heart WANTS to go on, whether it is a submissive human heart, or a dominant one.. we can only stay in that dark place for so long.

It is not something one wants to ask for lightly, and I was not fully collared... I cannot imagine how badly it would hurt if I were...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 35

RE: Begging release - 6/1/2006 8:17:00 AM

princess74

Posts: 12
Joined: 2/3/2006
Status: offline

IT's an interesting thread, however in my view to beg for release is a signal indeed somethign is wrong! I would never beg to be releasedor to have one beg to be released by me.Once any negativity crops up its best to discuss it and work on it or agree its not working and move on in good terms! To many doms here tend think its a given right for a sub/slave to leave on their timetable their terms! We are all individuals and we have our own minds regardless of our sex,gender,creed,colour or our collars!!!

Why would anyone wish to prolong an ending? unless it was for sadistic pleasure???

I am proud to be a switch and im also proud i can stand on my own two feet....I respect where it is earned, who has the right on here to advise any of they stay collared regardless of asking/begging to go...My motto never beg, advise and then walk freely

(in reply to majicatt)

Post #: 36

RE: Begging release - 6/1/2006 8:44:23 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I have never had to beg for release however i was thinking about doing that with my late Master but he died so that made the point moot. I am not sure if i would have ever actually done it but it had crossed my mind.

If i begged relasese and was not i would just have to walk away it would be hard but i would have to do what was best for me at that time. Now my current Master i am never gonna beg release from the thought never even crossed my mind.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to princess74)

Post #: 37

RE: Begging release - 6/2/2006 8:59:01 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

i am a slave. i can only be a free person again (leave the relationship) if my Master were to release me. He has granted me the privilege of begging release if i ever felt that thing were totally hopeless and awful...however, if he were to refuse my request, then i could not leave. i would have to continue on as his property, whether i liked it or not. that is part of the reality of being owned by another person. this is not a game for us....it is cold, bright, sometimes frightening, reality. of course there are those who will say that by law, i have every right to leave. however perhaps those people do not realize that a Man has ways of keeping what he feels belongs to him...physically, legally, and mentally.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 38

RE: Begging release - 6/3/2006 11:53:09 AM

champagnewishes

Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee

This is actually a good topic. A sensitive one, but still good. I can only speak from expeirence. It really is ritualized closure, but I know that for me it came down to a closure of control. There was a such a mental aspect of control between myself and my owner that simply breaking things off didnt work. I still "felt" him no matter what. So in requesting the release, it represented a transefer of control back to myself. (not saying that it doesn't sound silly) But that is how my brain choose to work. It truly was a symbolic matter, but it did help bring closure.

Happy Holiday Weekend

love and light
lee

This would be my exact assumption. Not unlike the need to close one door before opening another. It gives one the opportunity to start anew with a clean slate.

_____________________________

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(in reply to leakylee)

Post #: 39

RE: Begging release - 8/12/2007 4:31:09 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

i am a slave. i can only be a free person again (leave the relationship) if my Master were to release me. He has granted me the privilege of begging release if i ever felt that thing were totally hopeless and awful...however, if he were to refuse my request, then i could not leave. i would have to continue on as his property, whether i liked it or not. that is part of the reality of being owned by another person. this is not a game for us....it is cold, bright, sometimes frightening, reality. of course there are those who will say that by law, i have every right to leave. however perhaps those people do not realize that a Man has ways of keeping what he feels belongs to him...physically, legally, and mentally.

Ditto.

The power exchange relationship shouldn't terminate when the sub/slave wants it to. It terminates when the owner agrees to it. Elsewise, there would be no necessity for the collar/TPE relationship in the first place; the slave would constantly have the option to say "nah, not worth it, bye."

Nope, none of this is a legally enforced contract. Possession, though, is 9/10ths of the law.

Stephan

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(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 40

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