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RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 3:02:52 AM

MasterMatt2097

Posts: 35
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline

To be fair, the man raises a couple good points...well, in his eyes, at least. But, yeah, as long as there is more than one dominant person on the planet, there will be no such thing as a "True" Dom.

Also, on an unrelated note...

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Maybe it's because I watch too much anime with camera angles that make you swear the animator just discovered peyote, but does it look to anyone else like the "laughing" smileys are dancing sideways in the air?

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 21

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 4:11:57 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

Winterapple wins.
I thought the OP was kidding with the title... *sigh*

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"Obey your Master." Metallica

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Post #: 22

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 4:17:23 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadySue
<snipped>
How many times do we have to repeat this?

EXACTLY once per new-bie. C'mon.... give the guy a break!

He is 46 so no. If he was 26, maybe. But at age 46 he should not have his head stuck quite so far up his ass.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Post #: 23

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 4:23:07 AM

stellauk

Posts: 1360
Status: offline

Masterlock

Please take some friendly advice.

If you have to argue with people to try to convince them that you are something, then it's highly unlikely you are.

Those who speak with authority generally come with an audience who have arrived at that conclusion by way of consensus.

Food for thought?

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Usually when you have all the answers for something nobody is interested in listening.

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Post #: 24

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 4:54:21 AM

Fornica

Posts: 2986
Status: offline

bwahahahahahahahahaha
I was thinking the exact same thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Winterapple

You've inadvertently shown your ass again.

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There is no spoon.

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Post #: 25

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 5:02:08 AM

caelestis

Posts: 195
Joined: 9/6/2008
Status: offline

"often subtle way of showing that they want you to take control"

Well shit! I've been doing this all wrong for years!

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Post #: 26

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 5:56:26 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

Using the word "true" around here is obviously a mistake, but I can't really disagree in substance with most of what you're saying. I don't think its bad advice at all for anybody just beginning to explore this, I've seem much more misleading manifestos.

(in reply to caelestis)

Post #: 27

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 6:11:50 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

In an attempt to salvage a conversation... I'm going to say...

Okay, there are some interesting points that are applicable to SOME people. If I compared my last M with this, though... would I conclude that he wasn't "twue" or that you arenn't, OP?
He wasn't threatened by me asking for something. It wasn't "TFTB" because it was still up to him to decided whether or not to act on it. TFTB gets thrown around so much, it basically has no meaning anymore. To me, it was a state where the s-person uses manipulation, deception, omission, and other things in active attempts to control the D. Just saying "i'd like to try rope bondage, how about you?" Doesn't fit that criteria. If you really feel your "Mastery" threatened by something like that, well why is that?

"Sensitive and caring" aren't necessarily opposed to "macho" behavior. That's a limited, old-fashioned idea of masculinity. I prefer guys who have passion, but who aren't afraid of "traditionally masculine" behavior. The types of guys I like don't really care about being more XYZ than most, they're just "themselves," self-aware, honest, and not apologetic about who they are.

To me, someone who can take from me, in spite of my resistance, well that's awesome. It may be difficult for a man to get beyond his social conditioning, but a man who knows me and loves me, would get that I need that kind of control and feeling of possession. Not to say that ieverything is a fight with me - far from the truth. I am more than happy to obey. It's nnatural and preferred for me to do so. :p but I also "understood" that his right to his "stuff" didn't go away if I just wasnn't "feeling like it" and I appreciated his willingness to take.

On top of that, he was a caring, genuine person who helped anyone around him. He had a ton of friends, and everyone who met him loved him. He rescued bunnies for crap's sake. :p but he was honest about the different parts of him, honest that they could coexist.

I agree that getting into your s-person's noggin can be imporrtant; the mental stuff is really compelling for me. But some people really aren't interested in that. Some people arenn't interested in pushing to the extremes of limits. I think adjusting your approach is a matter for any leader, nnot just this nebulous "true master." If one form of motivation doesn't work, then it's smart to be flexible and try something else.

What you've wiritten might be true for you, which is why we have journals. That's where this sort of stuff should go. The type of person you're describing as "true" would not at all be "true" for me. I would actually probably avoid someone like you've described. He's threatened by my opinions, one-dimensional, and sexually incompatible.

_____________________________

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"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to caelestis)

Post #: 28

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 6:16:11 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

Using the word "true" around here is obviously a mistake, but I can't really disagree in substance with most of what you're saying. I don't think its bad advice at all for anybody just beginning to explore this, I've seem much more misleading manifestos.

Agreed. If you substitute "true Master" with "caring dominant" (or some such) it comes across much better, at least from the dominant side.

From the submissive side, it sucks. I find the paragraph below to be just full of horse shit.

Submissives, by nature, do not assert what they want. A true submissive is a very strong person with the confidence to surrender control to a Master. A submissive is NEVER a victim. But, she knows that the very act of telling a man that she wants to be tied up, for example, can run the risk of "topping from the bottom" which ruins the moment and eventually the relationship. Submissive women always find a wonderful, but often subtle way of showing that they want you to take control but it is up to the Master to interpret nuanced behavior in order to uncover the details of what she wants through his own perceptions and experience.

If I tell the man I like to be tied up I'm topping from the bottom? Er, what the fuck? I highly recommend people talk about what they want, before and after.

An example.

Me: I'd really like to get raped this weekend.

Him: Oh really? You are such a slut. Well, Miss slutty I just might make that happen <sneaking a peek at my boobs> or then again, maybe not. <wicked chuckle>

I am more than capable of asserting what I want in *any* situation. He is more than capable of deciding if I get it.

_____________________________

(in reply to xssve)

Post #: 29

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 6:38:37 AM

Mazterlock

Posts: 24
Joined: 11/28/2011
Status: offline

Thank you to all the responders who took the time to read the whole post and comment in the context of the entire message.

I agree with much of the criticism in these replies. Please don't think that I was not aware that the word "True" was presumptuous. And, if you take it a step further and say that is was pompous or even obnoxious, I have no argument for that.

The context was a time where Myspace was tipping from a relatively naive and safe environment for people like us who had discovered each other through the "groups" area into a dangerous place where all kinds of predatory men were creating fake female profiles and "Master" profiles because they were looking to exploit vulnerable women.

We did not have the time, the maturity or the sophistication regarding social media that members of collarme have today. Please believe me that the newbie women here are benefiting from many other experienced women who give great advice about staying safe and blowing off the losers who are posing here. That was not true in 2004 when Myspace was exploding and many submissive women were exposing themselves to bad situations because they were naive.

Of course the word "True" is inappropriate today and of course I would craft this differently if I was re-writing it for collarme. I thought that many people here would appreciate the historical context and I hope that a few of you do see it that way.

And, in defense of Myspace, do not judge it solely by what happened after the creators of Myspace lost control of their company. When it was new and fresh, it generated an explosion in unvarnished freedom of expression and it created many lasting friendships between real people that have long outlasted Myspace itself. For a little while, it was magic.

Now, I am the newbie to a very different kind of social networking for the BDSM community. That attacking, the mean spirited tone of voice and the general anger from a small percentage of very active community members is something that I did not account for and I will be smarter about that in the future.

Thanks again to the people who replied after having taken the time to read the whole statement and view it in context.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 30

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 6:40:45 AM

stacey4u2luv

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

Over all he made many good points as did most everyone else, but do agree that if i want to be tied up i have the right to tell that i wish to be tied up and have done so on many occasions. As in any relationship everyone should listen to the others feelings and try to oblige them if and when they can. It makes the world a whole lot brighter.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 31

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 6:50:53 AM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

reading that equals = VOMIT

total lamesauce. what made you think by reading that would make it easier to sort out anyone?

The only person that made me want to sort out is YOU. YUCKO BUCKO.

Attachment (1)

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The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

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Post #: 32

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 6:59:35 AM

Mazterlock

Posts: 24
Joined: 11/28/2011
Status: offline

Thank you, Stacey. A submissive woman definitely can and should tell a man that she wants to be tied up and it is wonderful for me when a woman is explicit. My personal experience has included women who, by the very nature of being deeply submissive, were not comfortable stating these needs and desires.

I know I will be slammed for this stereotype, but in New York City, you meet submissive Japanese women who grew up in Japan but have lived here for many years. If you wait for them to tell you what they desire, you will be waiting forever.

This is not about one type of submissive being "better" than another. This is about appreciating the idea that every submissive women is unique and a "good" Master should appreciate that. That's all I really mean by "true" and I'm sorry that this one word caused a lot of the responders to conclude that I am very narrow minded.

(in reply to stacey4u2luv)

Post #: 33

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 7:02:30 AM

Fornica

Posts: 2986
Status: offline

I don't think you're narrow minded. I think it was a poor choice of words, but not a biggie. I get the jist of it, and think your intentions are good. And I'm super cunty, so that's saying a LOT. ;)

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There is no spoon.

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Post #: 34

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 7:06:50 AM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

I think you need to do a re-write then. Try it, see if we like it.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

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Post #: 35

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 7:22:30 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mazterlock
But, she knows that the very act of telling a man that she wants to be tied up, for example, can run the risk of "topping from the bottom" which ruins the moment and eventually the relationship.

I guess my 12 year relationship must be on the verge of disaster then, because I frequently tell Master what I'm in the mood for. Doesn't mean I'll get it, it just means I'm communicating.

Most of your post is so far off, it's amazing.

_____________________________

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Mazterlock)

Post #: 36

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 7:30:23 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mazterlock

My personal experience has included women who, by the very nature of being deeply submissive, were not comfortable stating these needs and desires.

Yeah, chicks like that totally exist. I'm one of them. :p I don't like to say too much becuase I do at times feel like I'm putting myself in control. BUT the issue with this is that you said a "true submissive woman," which makes it ridiculous.

There are as many different types of submissive women as there are ... well... submissive women. :p

The usage of "true" takes it out of the realm of your personal experience, and makes it seem as though you're trying to force it into the Encyclopedia BDSM.

Yes, SOME submissive women may have a difficult time opening up about needs, but not all of them do. Many of them are quite upfront. Many Ds/Ms WANT their chicks to be upfront. Many of them don't want to bother trying to learn code and body language. There isn't anything wrong or less-true about either approach, or any of those that exist in between.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to Mazterlock)

Post #: 37

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 7:36:39 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mazterlock

Thank you to all the responders who took the time to read the whole post and comment in the context of the entire message.

I agree with much of the criticism in these replies. Please don't think that I was not aware that the word "True" was presumptuous. And, if you take it a step further and say that is was pompous or even obnoxious, I have no argument for that.

The context was a time where Myspace was tipping from a relatively naive and safe environment for people like us who had discovered each other through the "groups" area into a dangerous place where all kinds of predatory men were creating fake female profiles and "Master" profiles because they were looking to exploit vulnerable women.

We did not have the time, the maturity or the sophistication regarding social media that members of collarme have today. Please believe me that the newbie women here are benefiting from many other experienced women who give great advice about staying safe and blowing off the losers who are posing here. That was not true in 2004 when Myspace was exploding and many submissive women were exposing themselves to bad situations because they were naive.

Of course the word "True" is inappropriate today and of course I would craft this differently if I was re-writing it for collarme. I thought that many people here would appreciate the historical context and I hope that a few of you do see it that way.

And, in defense of Myspace, do not judge it solely by what happened after the creators of Myspace lost control of their company. When it was new and fresh, it generated an explosion in unvarnished freedom of expression and it created many lasting friendships between real people that have long outlasted Myspace itself. For a little while, it was magic.

Now, I am the newbie to a very different kind of social networking for the BDSM community. That attacking, the mean spirited tone of voice and the general anger from a small percentage of very active community members is something that I did not account for and I will be smarter about that in the future.

Thanks again to the people who replied after having taken the time to read the whole statement and view it in context.

1-Guess what buddy-women don't need saving. They are more than capable of handling themselves. Yes, this includes subs/slaves.

2-C'mon dude. This is almost more condescending than the OP. In 2004 women needed rescuing? In 2004, on myspace people were making fakes? In 2004, online, people demonstrated a remarkable lack of common sense? In 2004 'naive" newbies" needed your saving and protection?
I mean seriously...

"And what if there are no damsels in distress
what if I knew that and I called your bluff?
don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down
whether or not you ever show up"
ADF

3-You're not dealing with "angry, mean spirited" responses here. If you think those were rough, hang around-they treated you with kid gloves...which was kinda sensitive of em seeing how what you essentially did was walk into a strangers house (The CM community) and preach at em, and preached stuff that the choir had decided was a crock years ago. Frankly, folks were kinder than they have been in years past. That said, you rolled with it fairly well, so you get props there.

4-Since it ain't Myspace but rather CM, ya should have edited it. Target the message to the audience, not vice versa.

5-Going way way back now, does anyone remember MySpace before it was the MySpace and was a hacker site instead?

< Message edited by Kana -- 12/7/2011 7:40:06 AM >

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HST

(in reply to Mazterlock)

Post #: 38

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 8:34:21 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

So the op believes a twue master can't also be a twue sadist. And that no sub has the right to say what she needs in order to insure she has a fulfilling relationship with someone who is compatible with her.

Brother, you need to take off the blinders and learn a hell of a lot more. Because if this is what you really believe, then nobody should ever get into a relationship with you.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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Post #: 39

RE: "What a True Master Does" - 12/7/2011 8:37:05 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

True masters pound their puds, in true fashion, truely, and masterfully.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 40

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