Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Question for the group


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Question for the group Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Question for the group - 5/28/2006 5:13:57 PM   
sheareddelight


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		I have a question that I would like to throw out to the group...

How would you respond to a Master or Dom, that requested to see your picture before you even exchanged an email to determine if there was an interest by either or both parties?

Am I way off base here?  I look forward to the replies.

Thank you,
delight
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 5:15:47 PM   
Prunesquallor


Posts: 181
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline 		I would say that he appeared to be someone for whom physical appearance overrode everything else.

That would lead me on to suspect that he might turn out to be rather shallow.

(in reply to sheareddelight)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 5:23:05 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sheareddelight

I have a question that I would like to throw out to the group...

How would you respond to a Master or Dom, that requested to see your picture before you even exchanged an email to determine if there was an interest by either or both parties?

Am I way off base here?  I look forward to the replies.

Thank you,
delight


I think a polite "let's wait until we know each other a bit better."  If he gets upset or just vanishes, that tells you a lot about him

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to sheareddelight)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 5:23:11 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Ehhh, not much wrong with wanting to know what another looks like. Now, if he wants a nude pic.... he may be a wanker, a sticky-fingered rogue, and I'd tell him "naw". If it feels wrong to you, then move on to someone more in line with you.
 
Level

(in reply to Prunesquallor)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 5:30:30 PM   
zumala


Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with the general concensus.  There's nothing wrong with giving someone a clothed photo, but I would distrust a person who just outright asks for one before he'll even get to know me.
 
zuma

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 5:31:58 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Ehhh, not much wrong with wanting to know what another looks like. Now, if he wants a nude pic.... he may be a wanker, a sticky-fingered rogue, and I'd tell him "naw". If it feels wrong to you, then move on to someone more in line with you.
 
Level
 
I agree...a pic is one thing, a nude pic is another.



_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 5:38:54 PM   
talibahh


Posts: 389
Joined: 4/9/2006
From: NSW Australia
Status: offline 		 
well... how much contact have you had with Him? Is it the very first thing He has asked you before getting to know much about you at all?
Have you asked to see a pic of Him? And what did He say?
 
i think trust your instincts... i don't see a problem with a pic, if like Level says, its not a nude one and you feel comfortable sharing.
 
However, i think that by you asking the question here, maybe your instincts are telling you to be weary? So if this is the case, i would go with what JohnWarren has told you.
 
Trust your instincts...
 
hopes this helps,
tali

_____________________________

"It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time" ~ Sir Winston Churchill

in giving You my freedom, i gain the freedom to be me ...
~ tali ~

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 5:39:05 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I've talked to more than one sub who made the same (unreasonable) request, you know.  It's not just big bad evil doms who do this.  One sub even demanded to know my home telephone number!

(in reply to sheareddelight)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 5:47:39 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		My pic is posted.  However, I didn't always post one.  The people that thought it was more important that they saw my picture before ever having a word of conversation with me were people that I just didn't need to know.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 5:55:57 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Yes I know we have been talking for months and get along very well. Oh thanks for the picture, I am so happy to finally get to see you. As for the arm growing out of your forehead... not a problem. Yes I know it is one of my hard limits but for you, anything is just peachy.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to sheareddelight)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 5:58:44 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		My pic is posted, but if it weren't and seemed  more important to someone to see what I look like before talking and getting to know me, then for me, I doubt I'd want to get to know them. Sounds rather shallow. Looks first then if good enough talk. Just the way I would see it.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 6:18:03 PM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		ehhh
I go both ways on this.
On the one hand, yeah, asking for a pic can smack of shallow.
On the other hand, I really don't care to establish any kind of rapport with someone who reminds me of Uncle Icky who made me sit on his lap in my wet swim suit when I was 6.
Nor do I want to be courting a gal only to find out that the reason she can't send a pic is because she's really a 52 year old man in mom's basement.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to SweetSarijane)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 6:32:59 PM   
Morpheus07


Posts: 89
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zumala

I agree with the general concensus.  There's nothing wrong with giving someone a clothed photo, but I would distrust a person who just outright asks for one before he'll even get to know me.
 
zuma



It is funny that you mention this, as it has been my experience that many, many submissive women will not even begin talking without seeing a pic. Which is their right, and tells me something important (from my perspective) about them.

I find that the better looking people (or those who think they are) on both sides of the aisle want to know that they are talking to someone they would actually be seen in public with, before they get started. I for one do not mind sending a pic, and can usually guess beforehand who will be emailing me back and who will be putting me on ignore. Pics are not all that important to me as the most beautiful woman in the world can appear quite ugly with a poor attitude/personality or less than stellar mind. And those are some of the things that attract me to people.

_____________________________

Its a case of mind over matter, "I don't mind, because you don't matter!"

(in reply to zumala)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 6:48:34 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

Yes I know we have been talking for months and get along very well. Oh thanks for the picture, I am so happy to finally get to see you. As for the arm growing out of your forehead... not a problem. Yes I know it is one of my hard limits but for you, anything is just peachy.


I've yet to see someone with an arm growing out of his forehead, but I have seen many with heads that seem to grow out of their asses

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 6:57:49 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sheareddelight

How would you respond to a Master or Dom, that requested to see your picture before you even exchanged an email to determine if there was an interest by either or both parties?



Hello A/all,

I would politely email the Dom or Master back and indicate that I am a Dominant heterosexual male, and indicate they will have better luck in their search for a shallow pond in a deep sea of intelligent and articulate submissives if they READ PROFILES once in a while.

And if I felt really obnoxious, I would write that out in Dutch.

But that, of course, is just me and I could be wrong.

Sinergy 

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to sheareddelight)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 7:04:02 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		When subs do that, I send them the pick of Lord and Master, if they can handle elephants screwing, they can chat with Me..
 
 
okok Im teasing.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to sheareddelight)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 7:06:07 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		< rant >

I don't mind too much being asked for a picture, but then again, I have clear face photos with my profiles everywhere, as I'm lucky enough to be able to be out.

I get very frustrated by individuals who demand I turn on my (nonexistant) webcam or call them on the phone before they will talk with me. The excuse I've gotten is that they've met a lot of men pretending to be women.Well, if we're just talking online, why does it -matter- if I'm a man or a woman? And if we're going to meet, wouldn't it become abundantly clear, very fast?

There's a huge number of people we never met, because they wouldn't meet us for coffee without me showing myself on cam. I just don't -get- that. If you live close together, the most that one's lost in a little bit of time. If I wasn't a woman, you'd probably notice pretty fast.

< / rant >


_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 7:29:06 PM   
sheareddelight


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you for all of the replies.  And, yes, this was the first thing that he had to say to me.  I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unrealistic in my expectations. 

Thank you,
delight

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 7:32:19 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		While a picture is not a guarantee that the person sending it is being accurately represented, it does tend to deal with the 13-year-old boys playing tricks. It also handles any possible spam-type emails.

If someone asks for my picture I will send it to them. For me, it's not a biggie. Sometimes I hear from them again. Often I do not. That's fine. It's another one of those things that helps weed out the ones I don't really want to deal with!

(in reply to sheareddelight)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Question for the group - 5/28/2006 7:38:06 PM   
Chaingang


Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline 		More fundamentally:

I don't get how this is working.

If there has been no email, are you communicating by telepathy? Lacking any knowledge of you beforehand why did he even contact you at all? If you are conversing via chat, then that's like emails except via short messages. Why chat if you aren't interested? How would you find out if you were interested but by further conversation, emails, and picture exchanges?



_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Question for the group Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.096