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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 10:01:13 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		I never advocated personal attacks; in fact, I consistently argue against them. The question asked by this thread is the meat of the issue. For anyone to say that emotion never plays apart in what they post or how they word their thoughts is ludicrous (IMO).



Peace and comfort,



Michael

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 10:08:53 AM   
LizDeluxe


Posts: 687
Joined: 10/2/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Ah ha......now I am seeing something new that I had not thought of. That it might be more of a competitive thing driving the emotion rather than any sort of emotional attachment to the people involved.

If that is the case, it explains a lot.


While it's a great point it applies equally in real life and in online only interaction. It's just basic human nature to many. Online only is a different type of interaction but not necessarily a lessor form.

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 10:19:40 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		It's rare that I get riled about anything on the internet. I do form opinions about people based on their postings, and I do get disturbed at certain trends of thought that I see, but I don't get acita over posts. Why should I? I DO get cranky when my friends get attacked, but that's how I roll anyway.

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 10:19:45 AM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I never advocated personal attacks; in fact, I consistently argue against them. The question asked by this thread is the meat of the issue. For anyone to say that emotion never plays apart in what they post or how they word their thoughts is ludicrous (IMO).

Peace and comfort,
Michael

ummm,.. i never said you advocated personal attacks, it was a general comment in reference to the original thing about online interactions (since for some attacks are part of that).. I argue against personal attacks also.. Imo, I can remove/control my emotions as much as humanly possible in an attempt to have a good quality discussion..

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 10:20:39 AM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		I have not read all the other posts so I am just stating my feelings on the subject.

I tend to treat people here like I treat people in real life…with respect until they prove they are not worthy of it.

I do not think of people as friends only if they agree with me…to me they are friends even if they disagree with me with passion.

I think I am an understanding person and I do know that often my opinions are not the majorities but I am willing to change if my opinion if my reasoning is proven faulty. I will admit I was wrong and seem to be doing that quite often lately.

I will even forgive people who lash out at me with anger…after all I do the same on occasion.

What I will NOT do is lie about my beliefs for the sake of friendship. To me friendship should be able to withstand an argument if it is true.

So bottom line… I understand the passion some feel…I hope if it is directed at me I am forgiven down the line. And… all can still be friends even if they disagree.

Butch

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 10:26:03 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		fr

i think that no matter whether it's online or not, people can't hide their actual self if they post for long enough. now, there are people who come over as being sanctamonious, narrow minded arseholes that i just read and can't bare. i always hope that were i to meet them in person that they would actually be different, that i had read them wrong. there is a person like this on another site and strangley my instant reaction to them was to be on my guard. i read them as being very picky and seeming only to post to pull people to bits. their job also means that i expected better of them really and so i kept telling myself that i may have been putting too much of what i expected on their words. i have been reliably informed though that my thoughts on this person are actually spot on. still, were i to meet them i'd try and not let that cloud my judgement.

i still don't get though how someone on the net can tell me that i don't mean what i've said about something. those people don't know me so if i say i am a certain way then i am. i may not conform to the norm, but it doesn't mean i'm not being honest. those who get on their high horse about how other people should live their lives because of their own ethic thinking need a kick up the arse. they are usually the people who get abusive towards others and always knock the other person's intelligence. i mean seriously, if you can't make your point with resorting to that and the 'you are now hidden' childish behaviour it's rather poor going for you. they don't make me angry, but i do get fed up of the same old crap so i'll roll my eyes and move past them.

for those others who come over as really nice people, such as the LillyBoPeeps of the net, i wish that i could have the chance to meet them in person. for those people, when they post about the bad things in their lives i'll feel empathy on their behalf. when they post of the good things that happen to/for them then i feel joy for them too. they make the boards worth reading and that's why we come here.

so it stands to reason that if someone's words can have a positive effect on us, then they can have a negative effect too.

needles

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 10:41:07 AM   
stellauk


Posts: 1360
Status: offline 		There are other factors too..

At Thunder Bay on the coast of Canada the tide differential is a massive 58 feet.

The depth of the River Thames in the centre of Westminster Bridge is roughly 24 feet, and high tide can put anything between 10 and 14 feet on top of that.

Physically that what makes us up is largely water.

Outside my window I see that we have what appears to be a Full Moon or will have soon.

One could argue that the waxing of the Moon exerted a somewhat stronger influence on our thinking over the last couple of days than many of us would be prepared to admit.

Now I'm not suggesting that some people are secretly shaving a lot more than usual or eyeing up the dog food in their local store, but this might also factor into it.

Pink Floyd sang a song about it, listening to the words might inspire a few thoughts.

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 11:07:54 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		oh He is deffinately influenced by the moon. i can tell pretty much what is happening in the sky by his moods. a guy at work is just the same. he was rather put out one day when in a mood and i said 'look in the sky tonight, i bet any money it's a full moon or close to' i was right lol

if planting seeds can be influenced by the moon then i see no reason why we can't be.

needles

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 12:07:15 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		This probably isn't formulated right, but this is My own perspective. 

I've got something of a different take than you, LaT.  Part of this comes from having met a good number of people from the forums over the years.  They are a part of My real.  Like another person who posted on this thread, I've had a huge success rate on people being exactly who they appeared to be.  (The reason I'm not saying perfect is because I don't want to be inaccurate about little things.) 

Now, of all of those people that I've met from here, many of them have met other members that I haven't had the pleasure yet.  By extension, that makes them a part of My real because we know people in common.  At minimum, a very high percentage of people that I have met, I believe would tell Me if the people they had met weren't genuine. 

On top of this are the people that I've only met by phone, but we know the same people, etc.  They count as part of My real.  Some I haven't even made it to a phone call yet, but if I could manage it, I'd definitely like to meet if I ever got the opportunity.  With My situation, it's entirely possible.

With all of this, I know, or know by extension, or know by phone, one heck of a lot of people.  That does influence the way that I see these boards at times.


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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 12:21:55 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		LadyP, I understand what you are saying and that does make a difference. I know that the people from the site that I've gotten close to outside of the site I certainly have an emotional attachment to.

However, it doesn't mean that I don't disagree with their online communications. And when I do, I don't get upset about it. I don't get bothered if people disagree with me. It's just part of life. Words, debate, whatever.......it doesn't affect me in any sort of deep emotional way.

The ONLY thing that might upset me is if a person I knew personally, did a complete 180 degree turn and began writing things that made them look like less than the wonderful person I believe them to be.


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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 12:27:51 PM   
Arienos


Posts: 161
Joined: 10/5/2011
Status: offline
quote:

So I could never say my interactions in this forum lack emotion; quite the contrary. However, b/c I am an emotional, empathic person I have trained myself to be very picky about where I want to involve my emotions.


Trained my emotions, the operative term. Emotions, do not control except in the absence of self-control.

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 12:28:24 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Ha!  Have you ever seen Me skip disagreeing with somebody just because I do actually know them in the physical world?  Most of them, I debate with in person if one thing or another comes up.  If I can't, those are shallow and superficial friendships anyway. 

I get your 180 explanation.  I tend to feel the same way if something is private, it will tick Me off if you (general you) make it public.   

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 12:34:29 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

LadyP, I understand what you are saying and that does make a difference. I know that the people from the site that I've gotten close to outside of the site I certainly have an emotional attachment to.

However, it doesn't mean that I don't disagree with their online communications. And when I do, I don't get upset about it. I don't get bothered if people disagree with me. It's just part of life. Words, debate, whatever.......it doesn't affect me in any sort of deep emotional way.

The ONLY thing that might upset me is if a person I knew personally, did a complete 180 degree turn and began writing things that made them look like less than the wonderful person I believe them to be.



I am sometimes appalled at what my friends have to say! It's okay, though, my friends are my friends, not my sycophants. And I do know a lot of folks from the boards!

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 12:50:54 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Fast reply:

Another thought regarding emotions while posting, just to put it out there.

In the last few years I've made a sincere personal effort to keep my focus and thoughts positive. This doesn't mean I'm in denial about the not-so-good stuff, but I've found I tend to draw more good into my life if that's where I place my energy, and it helps me to deal with the not-so-good stuff in a more productive manner for myself.

Because of that, I sometimes have a rather strong internal rejection of what I consider extreme negative behavior. It's like an oil and water thing with me. I try not to outwardly respond to it but sometimes I do let myself get drawn in and do respond. I almost always regret doing so though, because of the way it makes me feel - as though I've perpetuated the negative. When that happens, I self examine and try to learn from it, and better myself from it.

But i learned that this is why I have had the reactions I have, when there is a lot of snark out there, or name calling, or otherwise posts that I feel are very negative in their nature. Maybe because of where I am in life, I'm just sensitive to it. Maybe over time my reactions to that kind of negativity will not be so strong. I do know I am working on the way negativity affects me, and the way i outwardly respond to it. Since I am imperfect, I don't always respond in a way I later think I should have, but life is a learning process.

I think it's not so much the *people* I'm responding to, but the overall negativity (or what I see as negativity anyway, others may certainly see it differently).

Anyway, there's 5 more cents in the bucket.

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 12:58:30 PM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		I try, with mixed success, to keep my posting respectful and not engage in personal attacks.  Yes, I know it is only an internet forum, but I have actually gotten some great information and advice from these forums, and I often enjoy the discourse.  I often wonder whether some posters have anything else going on in their lives, based on their willingness to argue and exchange insults for hours and pages and pages of posts.  I have all the conflict I want in my life from my job, and if I am going to argue with someone, I want to get paid for it.  I have, on occasion, simply left a thread that I found myself becoming emotional about.  I don't feel the need to agree with everyone, and I don't expect everyone to agree with me.  I find it kind of amusing that some posters feel that it is their personal mission in life to "change others minds".  That rarely happens in real life, let alone on an anonymous, internet forum.

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The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 3:54:34 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I'm sure that I have some emotion or other when I post as, more often than not, I post because I *feel* or think something about the topic.

I don't invest a great deal in this forum. I don't have friends and I don't converse with people behind the scenes either.

I'm not very passionate about things on here; I can only be passionate about things that directly affect me. I don't get angry, or upset, or anything resembling those things, possibly because I don't care about anyone here.

I thought about that during the Heather chronicles and I just didn't care, I posted a couple of thoughts and that was me done. People do what they will and unless they are in my herb garden it's not much to do with me.

Although I like CM, it's just a place to get involved in conversations and discussions, not a place to direct my emotions. I can get mildly stirred about a topic, but rarely a person.

If CM disappeared tomorrow I wouldn't miss it. I might miss the wit of two or three people but that's about it.

agirl










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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 4:11:39 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		I have posted about this before - my general rules for posting are as follows:
Is it kind?
Is it true to the best of my knowledge?
Is it helpful in someway or will it hopefully add to a discussion?

I do not always follow those guidelines despite my desire to do so but I do try.

I try to lead with compassion and most of the time, succeed.

However, my one sore spot is bullies.
So if I perceive an attitude of bullying, I generally see RED and will speak up.

In the last couple of years, I have sometimes posted things that have been a little bit snarky as well... but usually to posters whose posts have been truly mean-spirited (and since I don't do snark well, the results have sometimes been paradoxically received well).

When I post something and realise I either posted in haste or posted in error, I have gone back and apologised either on the thread, privately to the person or both.

I rarely am attached to the idea of being right and the few times that has happened was on factual points and it took me a long time before I sheepishly realised that the other posters were just not going to get it, no matter how many times I provided them with verifiable proof.

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 4:23:31 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stellauk
One could argue that the waxing of the Moon exerted a somewhat stronger influence on our thinking over the last couple of days than many of us would be prepared to admit.

If so, then because of the increase in the light, not because of the tide, Stella.

I haven't calculated it (and would not know how at the moment), but I rather suspect that simply turning one's head has far more effect than a relatively constant force (during a second) such as a tide on our thinking.

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 4:29:01 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		You are a spiritually advanced being.

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RE: How does emotion figure into your on-line interacti... - 12/9/2011 5:25:50 PM   
stellauk


Posts: 1360
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

quote:

ORIGINAL: stellauk
One could argue that the waxing of the Moon exerted a somewhat stronger influence on our thinking over the last couple of days than many of us would be prepared to admit.

If so, then because of the increase in the light, not because of the tide, Stella.

I haven't calculated it (and would not know how at the moment), but I rather suspect that simply turning one's head has far more effect than a relatively constant force (during a second) such as a tide on our thinking.



I agree that the tides don't affect us much. But the waxing and waning of the Moon, especially the Full Moon (and New Moon)?

I remember years back when studying astrology reading articles about the research and studies undertaken by French astrologer Michel Gauquelin. He was of the opinion that it was the 'iG effect' and fluctuations in the electromagnetic force fields which explained the influence of the Moon on both bodies of water and animal and plant behaviour.

Apparently the cerebral cortex and central nervous system is a finely tuned receptor of such influences.

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