quote:

Restores a little more faith in the community. [/quote}

and which community are you speaking of?

this is not meant to be snarky, by any means...

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

I reply to any well-written message, even if just to say "thanks but I'm not interested for XYZ reasons."

quote:

Hell! I'll give an example here: "Dear Xxxxxxxx; I thought your journal entry on the seeming inability of people to communicate without using text speak was spot-on. The fact that intelligent communication is being bludgeoned to death bothers the heck out of me, also. Kudos to you and keep the faith! Peace and comfort, ..."

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
That DOES meet my criteria for well written and I would have responded!

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I feel the OP's pain but, in a slightly different way.

I know that, as ugly as I am and because of my lifestyle, that I am not everyone's cup of tea. I made my peace with that, a loooooong time ago.

What irritates me is when something on someone's profile/journal/forum post strikes a chord with me and I message them, saying something along those lines ...

Hell! I'll give an example here: "Dear Xxxxxxxx; I thought your journal entry on the seeming inability of people to communicate without using text speak was spot-on. The fact that intelligent communication is being bludgeoned to death bothers the heck out of me, also. Kudos to you and keep the faith! Peace and comfort, ..."

Seems okay? How come the response I get most often (if I get one) is: "I'm not poly and I don't share"?

Someone has taken the time to write something nice only to have the good vibe negated by someone that either can't read or is so arrogant that they think the only reason someone would communicate with them is to "hit on" them.

That's depressing.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

I get mail asking me if I want to chat. Delete.

I get mail talking about how sexy I am. Delete.

I get mail with words such as "u" "r" ect. Delete.

I get mail asking if I want to meet someone local. Delete.

I got one the other night asking me what I was doing up at 3 am. Answered.

I get mail asking about something I posted. Answered.

I get mail for information. Answered.

The difference?

Respect. My profile is there for a reason. If someone cant be bothered to read it all... and I know by the responses... Then why should I respond?

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

Michael, to be fair, I can't tell you how many freaking times it happens that someone wants to 'chat' with me about something and it turns out to be an attempt to get into my pants. Not really with men from the forums, but I can pretty much guarantee you that anyone who writes me from the profile side is trying somehow to get something from me. How do I know? Because I give them all a chance and almost every single damn time it's been a ruse, the seemingly kind or intriguing personal comment out of nowhere. Because I state on my profile that I have a relationship and am only here for friends, I dont get the usual load of mail from those looking, and anything I do get tends to be from forum users, or these types of things I am describing here.

I'm sorry because I can see you are sincere here, please understand that you are DEFINITELY in the minority on this site. The women you write can read, and are not that arrogant. So many times I have responded to a seeming well intentioned comment with another of my own, and so on, and so on, till we finally get to the point for them where they do whatever to get sex or kink, and at that point I pull the plug. The women writing you seem to have had identical experiences to mine and are just shortening the process. I am being completely sincere here and I hope you understand that it happens an overwhelming percent of the time where messages like yours are bids for something else.  A ploy, a ruse.

This type of thing where someone is trying to sneak in under the radar is more disheartening to me than almost anything else because in the end I feel used. It's gotten so that I've gotten extremely jaded in my responses to non-forum men because I always expect them to finally reveal themselves as being the usual after I've invested some effort and have let down my guard. Every time hey disclose their true intentions it's like a kick in the pants and it makes me feel dirty yet again.

Make of it what you will, but i'm telling you that I am willing to bet that my experience is not unusual. We aren't talking about a ton of letters here, just the odd one, but if its from a non-forum user and it's male I would pretty much take bets on how long it will take before the true intentions are disclosed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
I would be lying if I said that I had never messaged a lady, purely to comment on a profile/journal/forum post, received a response and in the course of corresponding with that lady, didn't have a moment where something changed. I'm not talking about the span of a few e-mails or IMing. I'm speaking of weeks or months of getting to know that person. It has happened and I'd be lying if I said it hasn't.

I understand the deluge of e-mails that you ladies get from guys that have an agenda. I also understand that there certainly ladies who, after reading their profile, I have messaged them in an effort to "make an approach" because a good portion of that profile resonated with me. I am able to make sure (from my point of view) that my meaning is fairly clear in any message I send. It just gets a bit frustrating when the message is not an attempt to "make an approach" but a sincere desire to pay a friendly compliment or to spark a conversation with no intent of it going anywhere except to intelligent discourse.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blueyeddom76

@lizi While I certainly I understand what you are saying and your frustrations, you have to realize that on a fetish based social/dating website, the topic of kink IS going to come up. I certainly am looking for something a lot more than just a casual thing, but the thing that draws us all here is our shared desires for the "abnormal". Couple that with the fact that you are talking with MEN. No matter how intelligent and witty we are, eventually our penis is going to take the wheel briefly. I would hope that if we'd stimulated you enough intellectually stimulated you, you'll indulge us with discussing kinks. That doesn't mean that's ALL we want, necessarily, but that's why we all are here, to find someone who's proclivities are similar to our own.

If I've misunderstood what you were trying to say, please correct me.