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Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 3:06:16 PM

JBondage

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/19/2009
Status: offline

To set this up a bit, I have a fantasy which has been on my mind for about a year. There is a large and active BDSM community around here so finding play partners is not hard if you are willing to put the effort into it. I do and have. I have discussed the fantasy with many of the local dommes both pro and not. None are at all interested in the type of scene that would fulfill the fantasy, so I have looked else were. I found someone willing however do not know her. She is going to travel here and do what we discussed, it involves bondage so I will be at her mercy. I was able to get her real name, so was able to do some verification and every thing seems to jive with what she has said.

And stories about playing with strangers good, bad, Ugly?

Post #: 1

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 3:10:06 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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Im sure there are plenty of each type of story around here.

The worse?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Edward_Robinson_(serial_killer)

He found a number of his victims on line.

Since she is coming to you, you do have a small advantage. I do hope you will take precautions since you will be allowing her to tie you up.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to JBondage)

Post #: 2

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 3:15:32 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

You probably run a greater risk of her stealing everything she can get her hands on once you're tied instead of doing you any physical harm.
If she's even a woman....

< Message edited by Aileen1968 -- 12/10/2011 3:29:12 PM >

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RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 3:19:46 PM

tazzygirl

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Good point.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 4

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 3:20:32 PM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
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Stories have been going around for longer than I've had internet access. Some wonderful success stories, many hilarious miscommunication stories, and a great heaping spamfilter of warnings, most of them baseless or obviously made up. I stopped paying attention to them all back around 2000.

You obviously had enough sense to check your playmate's bonafides. Keep using that common sense and you'll be fine. Like Tazzygirl said, take some elementary precautions. Make sure someone you know in the local community knows you're meeting, and see about having a witness to the pre-scene meet and greet. Arrange a secret codeword with your friend and call them after the fantasy is over. Use the codeword to assure them you're all right. Simple, easy, no muss, no fuss, and you don't need to make a big production out of it.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 5

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 3:27:05 PM

Higuysitsme

Posts: 127
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Sheffield, UK
Status: offline

I suppose it depends on the fantasy; why is no one you know willing to engage in it with you? Because its boring for them, or because its too extreme?

For me, the first time you actually let someone make you helpless while you're alone with them is an enormous act of faith. Even if you have spent time getting to know them beforehand, there is always just that little bit of risk that you haven't got to know them well enough. It may be part of your kink to do this with someone unknown to you, and it may be the element of risk that's the endorphin rush, I don't know. But this could be your life or long term future health you're talking about here, so I think if it was me I'd want to put in place all the safeguards I could without necessarily destroying the pleasure of the scene.

So if possible, a verified name and address of the person, left with a friend you can trust not to open it unless you don't put in an appearance next day or whenever, could be one idea. Although that don't stop you maybe being tortured for hours against your will; nor being given a solid dose of some STD. Obviously, she would need to know you've done this for it to be any safeguard at all.

Does she have references, people on the scene that know her and can verify she is safe player? If not, why not?

Better would be a large friend downstairs or calling in an hour or so, to check all is well; surely with friends on the scene you can find someone like this? Or just the standard safe call using a code word an hour after she starts on you, and again each hour or so maybe thereafter; code words need to either change, and you to remember them, or else be subtle enough she can't be sure what it is!

If all this cuts into the idea of your scene then I admit its tricky. But ya did ask!

Good luck to you.

_____________________________

'Be humble, because you are made of Earth;
Be noble, because you are made of Stardust.'
Navaho saying.

'There is no way to peace and happiness;
Peace and happiness is the way.'
The Buddha

(in reply to JBondage)

Post #: 6

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 3:45:16 PM

Lockit

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Something that even the pro's won't do... hum... someone traveling to please you... hum... and you are going to let someone pay (?) to come see you, bind you and do something so bad(?) that even pros won't do it and with them being a total stranger?

You already got the lobotomy, I guess castration would be next?

Seriously... I personally find something wrong with this picture and am with Aileen's take on it.

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Post #: 7

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 3:45:51 PM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline

I wouldn't do it, it seems odd to me that so many said no and this one lone person (from far away) says yes. This is redundant, but you just never know. Sure, her credentials checked out but what does that do for you in the case that you need help?

I don't know, seems too much of a risk for an afternoon of fun.

(in reply to JBondage)

Post #: 8

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 4:06:25 PM

Fornica

Posts: 2986
Status: offline

I'm assuming you'll be smart enough to meet in a public place for your first visit with this person?

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Post #: 9

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 4:28:11 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

If you are paying for her trip here, chances are you just found her hook and you will never see her.

From your journals, you might be looking for forced bi, but I'm pretty sure you could find someone in your local scene to do that.

So I'm thinking a home invasion fantasy. The risk to the "invader" can be a bit high on that one, so people may not want to do it.

You are a grown man over 50. Use some real common sense precautions and good luck.

(in reply to JBondage)

Post #: 10

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 5:55:09 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

If your fantasy is so unsafe that nobody in your local community will do it, then I suggest you stop trying to make it come true.
What you could ask for is a mind fuck version of it, so you would get a taste of the emotions without the risk.

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Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 11

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 6:00:52 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

We don't know what the fantasy is, but I know a lot of people don't want to play "home invasion" where they actually break in. Too many variables out of their control.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 12

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 6:07:27 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

No different than fucking a total stranger you just met at 2am before closing time at the bar.

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Post #: 13

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 6:08:07 PM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

Never underestimate the power of squick. The OP didn't say professional. He said members of the local scene. I met a young lady here a few years back who was aroused by having her lover draw or paint on her skin. She was ashamed and confused because everyone in her community thought it was wierd. I happily pointed her to a few books, though sadly I never got the chance to use her as a canvas.

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Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 14

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 6:11:58 PM

BurntKitty

Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman

Never underestimate the power of squick. The OP didn't say professional. He said members of the local scene. I met a young lady here a few years back who was aroused by having her lover draw or paint on her skin. She was ashamed and confused because everyone in her community thought it was wierd. I happily pointed her to a few books, though sadly I never got the chance to use her as a canvas.

I love that. Same with wax play, the body is a vast canvas.

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Post #: 15

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 6:13:12 PM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

Let me see if I can find that recent CollarChat about the guy found dead in bondage..... BRB

Title of thread tells much....

Do you want to be found like this?
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3773124/tm.htm

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 12/10/2011 6:15:50 PM >

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(in reply to Suleiman)

Post #: 16

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 6:14:24 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

No different than fucking a total stranger you just met at 2am before closing time at the bar.

Ah, memories.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 17

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 6:28:20 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman
The OP didn't say professional. He said members of the local scene.

Actually he specifically mentioned members of the local scene, pro and non.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Suleiman)

Post #: 18

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 6:48:09 PM

HisPet21

Posts: 395
Status: offline

This will not end well...

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 19

RE: Stranger Danger - 12/10/2011 6:49:37 PM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

My mistake. I didn't catch that. Still, there's no accounting for squick.

Look - you take risks every time you step out the door. You're never safe. Be aware, be prepared, and cover as many bases as you can. If you're gonna do it, go ahead and do it. Take a few precautions and be aware of the risk.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 20

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