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Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 8:29:08 AM

ashjor911

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Why men are better in bed than a dildo

1. Unlike dildos, they say a word from time to time.
2. They have an internal thermostat that always keeps them at a pleasant temperature.
3. They massage your feet.
4. Their batteries get replaced themselves, a lot faster, especially if the model is around 20 years old.
5. They don’t fit in a suitcase, but they can carry one.
6. You don’t have to report them at customs.
7. The nice ones bring you ice cream in bed, afterwards…
8. They come in a lot of sizes, shapes and tastes.
9. They’re a lot better at having a conversation.
10. They make cute sounds.
11. They wash themselves afterwards.
12. They warm up the whole bed if you put them there 10 minutes before going to bed.
13. They scratch your back.
14. After a “session” with a man, your whole body is tired, not just a hand.
15. They can clean windows in the corners at which you can’t usually get.
16. They eat the leftovers in the kitchen.
17. They have a completely different perspective.
18. It’s fun to look at them.
19. Usually, a man is a better dancer than a dildo.
20. They have a lot of parts with which you can play.
stolen from some tumblr

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my name is : bonsh ... jamesh bonsh.
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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 9:48:08 AM

kalikshama

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lol

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 9:52:15 AM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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1. Unlike dildos, they say a word from time to time. (this is not always a GOOD thing)
2. They have an internal thermostat that always keeps them at a pleasant temperature. (pleasant is relative)
3. They massage your feet.
4. Their batteries get replaced themselves, a lot faster, especially if the model is around 20 years old. (not ALWAYS a good thing)
5. They don’t fit in a suitcase, but they can carry one.
6. You don’t have to report them at customs.
7. The nice ones bring you ice cream in bed, afterwards…
8. They come in a lot of sizes, shapes and tastes.
9. They’re a lot better at having a conversation.
10. They make cute sounds.
11. They wash themselves afterwards.
12. They warm up the whole bed if you put them there 10 minutes before going to bed.
13. They scratch your back.
14. After a “session” with a man, your whole body is tired, not just a hand. (I have never found that to be an issue after dildo/vibe use)
15. They can clean windows in the corners at which you can’t usually get.
16. They eat the leftovers in the kitchen.
17. They have a completely different perspective.
18. It’s fun to look at them. (at least dildos are a usually consitent "appearance")
19. Usually, a man is a better dancer than a dildo. (who wants to dance? in the comparison, all I am looking for is a piece of ass)
20. They have a lot of parts with which you can play. (there is usually only ONE part I wanna PLAY with.. the reltionship aspect is something else)

stolen from some tumblr

*grins* just another POV ;)

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 9:58:34 AM

lazarus1983

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Now imagine what a guy could do WITH a dildo? And several other toys, bought at my friendly neighborhood Lion's Den. =)

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 10:04:23 AM

GreedyTop

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been there!! an evil, twisted bastard can do more "damage" (*snort*) wiht a dildo, than *I* can personally do to myself...

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 10:11:50 AM

LillyBoPeep

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Hahaha :) noice ^.~

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 10:31:38 AM

ashjor911

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
18. It’s fun to look at them. (at least dildos are a usually consitent "appearance")
19. Usually, a man is a better dancer than a dildo. (who wants to dance? in the comparison, all I am looking for is a piece of ass)
20. They have a lot of parts with which you can play. (there is usually only ONE part I wanna PLAY with.. the reltionship aspect is something else)

that is just cold, greedy.....

dose your dildos have lips to kiss, nipples to twist, or even balls to kick when "it" dont show up for your birthday.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

been there!! an evil, twisted bastard can do more "damage" (*snort*) wiht a dildo, than *I* can personally do to myself...

if it was done right, there were no "damage",
& not the saying " if it didnot hurt... you are not doing it right" that is just wrong.
there a some words can do you a favor there, like " SHIT remove that thing" or " slow down baba baer its sensitive down there", " Hey ... this is not cock you can not be mean to".

PS: dildos can give a help to man in the search for "female orgasm" when his hand & tounge die..

_____________________________

"operative" working undercover for the federal government of bangladesh.

my name is : bonsh ... jamesh bonsh.
code name : 009.5
licensed to give formla

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 10:35:26 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Dildos are not as useful as you think they are.

Though yes, man I like wins over silicone sam any day!

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 10:39:27 AM

tj444

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Men have more than one use so being a sex toy is easier to hide, people look at a dildo and know exactly why you have it and what you do with it...

< Message edited by tj444 -- 12/16/2011 10:40:12 AM >

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 10:40:04 AM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
18. It’s fun to look at them. (at least dildos are a usually consitent "appearance")
19. Usually, a man is a better dancer than a dildo. (who wants to dance? in the comparison, all I am looking for is a piece of ass)
20. They have a lot of parts with which you can play. (there is usually only ONE part I wanna PLAY with.. the reltionship aspect is something else)

that is just cold, greedy.....

dose your dildos have lips to kiss, nipples to twist, or even balls to kick when "it" dont show up for your birthday.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

been there!! an evil, twisted bastard can do more "damage" (*snort*) wiht a dildo, than *I* can personally do to myself...

if it was done right, there were no "damage",
& not the saying " if it didnot hurt... you are not doing it right" that is just wrong.
there a some words can do you a favor there, like " SHIT remove that thing" or " slow down baba baer its sensitive down there", " Hey ... this is not cock you can not be mean to".

PS: dildos can give a help to man in the search for "female orgasm" when his hand & tounge die..

hey, just doin the devils' advocate here ;)

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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 11:05:40 AM

Hillwilliam

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Dildos cant fix things, take out the trash, mow the yard or most importantly, get the lid off a jar.

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Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 11:10:47 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Dildos cant fix things, take out the trash, mow the yard or most importantly, get the lid off a jar.

Apparently, neither can a lot of men I know....

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 11:11:34 AM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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you too, LaT? *sighs*

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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 11:13:00 AM

LaTigresse

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Ya. And the one I live with has been very whiny and grumpy lately.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 14

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 11:17:52 AM

Hillwilliam

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Have ya checked between its legs lately to make sure it's still a man? Just sayin.

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Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 11:19:17 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Ya. And the one I live with has been very whiny and grumpy lately.

and this is why living with furbabies is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much easier!! *grins*

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 11:19:17 AM

ashjor911

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From: balcony, having a Smoke
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Apparently, neither can a lot of men I know....

are you referring to my skinny ass?
at least, I can do "some" things,

dose " mini version brad pitt" kiss you goodnight?

_____________________________

"operative" working undercover for the federal government of bangladesh.

my name is : bonsh ... jamesh bonsh.
code name : 009.5
licensed to give formla

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Post #: 17

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 11:20:45 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Have ya checked between its legs lately to make sure it's still a man? Just sayin.

Well I did see it in the shower a couple days ago........still appears to be intact.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 18

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 11:22:07 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Ya. And the one I live with has been very whiny and grumpy lately.

and this is why living with furbabies is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much easier!! *grins*

Indeed. They may be whiny, but nothing a trip outside will not fix.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 19

RE: Why men are better in bed than a dildo ..!! - 12/16/2011 11:23:35 AM

BurntKitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Dildos cant fix things, take out the trash, mow the yard or most importantly, get the lid off a jar.

Nor can dildos cook tailgating foods or watch the games with interest. My guy makes the worlds bestest chili and Giardiniera peppers. And yes, at 53 sometimes food takes preference over sex. But football wins out since you can combine all 3!

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