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fucktoyprincess -> RE: do american men have a hard time growing up? (1/24/2012 8:11:11 AM)
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Speaking from personal experience only (and I don't profess to generalize beyond that), I encounter many men who self-describe as Dominant, who essentially want to be taken care of by a woman (i.e., they want a whore in the bedroom, and then a mother outside of that). As an educated working professional, I have to say, I find that a little distasteful. Most men in their 30s who say they want a "50s household" type lifestyle, basically mean they don't want to do anything. They forget that in the 50s a man would have still done a lot of work around the house, even if not in the kitchen. As I live in a large city, where yard work and such are not part of my chores, for a man in the city to say he wants a 50s style household really means he doesn't want to do anything.
I do agree with those who say this is an issue for both men and women. I think people need to be raised to be self-sufficient regardless of gender. This means developing some marketable skill, this means knowing how to keep yourself and your home clean, this means being able to grow/shop for groceries, and prepare meals. This also means developing the skills to be a good parent. I really don't care whether one calls oneself submissive or Dominant, or whether one is straight, gay, or bi. Whatever your gender, your role, your orientation, no one should be a baby. Period.
My best relationships have included the following aspects: the man in a sexually Dominant role, the work of day-to-day life split in an equitable manner between the two of us, a shared love of food (completely sharing the responsibility to shop and cook). A man who is unwilling or incapable of even doing simple things around the house is not someone I would want as a life partner. My preference, but I find it increasingly difficult to find men in their 30s/early 40s in this lifestyle who are like that.
In fact, I just recently broke up with a play partner who I decided I was better off without. He is not, and will never be in my mind, partnership material. He is a capable and very successful professional, but otherwise utterly not self-sufficient, including not being able to manage his time outside of work efficiently. This would all be fine if he were 23 and just out of college and still figuring things out. But he is 38. The money he earns does not really compensate for the fact that he needs a mother. I am many things, but I really don't want to play mother to an almost middle-aged man (bedroom antics are one thing, and, of course, I'm happy to play mother to an actual child, but to a grown man???)
Again, this all reflects my wants/needs/experiences.
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