I am about to wash my hands of this guy (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid



Message

Iamsemisweet -> I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 9:23:41 AM)

I am considering ending yet another relationship in my life.
I have this guy friend, who dated a woman 20 years younger than him for about 3 years.  They broke up 2 years ago!

She is engaged now (although he doesn't know that).  He still refers to her as his "soul mate" and says shit like they have a spiritual connection, so he knows when she is nearby.  Stalkerish stuff, in other words.  The latest thing he has done is found a hooker on Craigslist, gathered up all his ex's stuff still in his possession, and gave it to the hooker, saying that she is more honest and forthright than the previous owner of this stuff.  I think that is just too creepy for words.

I like this guy, in a friendship way, and he would be a hell of a catch for someone.  He is musically talented, smart, physically attractive, makes a great living, and is probably kinky as hell, but his obsession with this relationship is just too weird.  I can't think of anything to say to him to snap him out of it (he has done counseling to death), and his obsessiveness is starting to freak me out, not to mention that I am sick of hearing about the whole thing.   I certainly don't want to tell him that his ex is engaged. 

I don't know, can this friendship be saved?  The thing with the hooker crossed a big line, in my opinion. 



mnottertail -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 9:24:54 AM)

I wish I was a hooker right now, I could use some stuff.

Hey if you feel its toxic, flush it and fuck it, thats all there is....no more to it.



kalikshama -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 9:30:06 AM)

I had a friend with many admirable qualities but she had one issue I considered toxic and when she picked up a second off putting behavior I had to drop her. Sometimes I feel a little guilty, but that's better than having that negativity in my life.



JanahX -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 9:31:25 AM)

Whats there to save? Either you deal with him the way he is or you dont.

It isnt rocket science. Youre not going to change him.



tj444 -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 9:31:56 AM)

When i was younger i had this female friend, she was always bitching about something not being right, bitch,. bitch,.. bitch.. always negative.. i decided i didnt need that in my life.. I dont regret dropping her one bit, i bet she is the same now as she was then..

Time is all we really get in this life.. spend it wisely with people you really enjoy.. jmo..

[sm=2cents.gif]



Iamsemisweet -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 9:33:19 AM)

Too bad.  He is such a nice guy, in so many ways.  



GreedyTop -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 9:37:12 AM)

I'm sorry.. in one statement you claim he is stalkerish, and then you say he
quote:

would be a hell of a catch for someone


not computing...



tj444 -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 9:44:19 AM)

any idea what he will do when he finds out his soul mate is engaged to someone else? He may be nice but his reality is skewed, not in a good way.. and he wont listen to anyone about it.. how will potential fall out when he does find out affect you? Only you can say.. and only you know if there are more pros than cons in remaining his friend..



Lockit -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 9:44:22 AM)

I knew a guy like that. Everyone thought he was so amazing until he showed the stalker... the predator... the abuser. He started with only one soul mate too... before he was done... there were many. If they can do that crazy shit with one person... they are unstable and can eventually go off and there can be more people involved.

Tonight they burn the fucker we knew that abused every life he touched... eventually. He went out gun a-blazin. Before that, he gets military honors and some from the church he fooled still think he is or was amazing. Just another abuse to the victims, knowing how so many others liked him, honored him and here they sit watching it, knowing what he was really like.

If a man could be so unstable about a woman... I wouldn't count him as friend, I don't care how charming he could be. It isn't always what they do currently... but what that unstable mind will become eventually.



kdsub -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 9:44:31 AM)

Just wondering have you told him as you have told us?

Butch



LadyHibiscus -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 9:46:09 AM)

This guy is a trainwreck. His "nice guy" qualities are utterly trumped by that lack of grasp on consensus reality. RUN LIKE THE WIND.



abrattyprincess -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 9:47:27 AM)

I've had to drop several people over the years because of being so negative or draining.

Why can't you just sit down with him and tell him that because of A, B, and C you no longer feel it's in your best interest to continue the friendship? A couple good friends of mine have had to go through that talk with me and once they heard things from my POV they were able to begin reassessing their behavior and attitudes. It might just take someone he thinks highly of to knock him back into reality - but it may not and nothing will change.

I still think it's better to tell the person WHY he's being dropped but that's just me.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 10:06:05 AM)

I'm not sure I "get it." First you say......
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet
He still refers to her as his "soul mate" and says shit like they have a spiritual connection, so he knows when she is nearby.  Stalkerish stuff, in other words.

And then you say......
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet
he would be a hell of a catch for someone. 

I guess I just don't know how a stalker-type guy would be a hell of a catch for anyone. What if he just transferred his obsession to the new target? I'd stay the hell away from him. I had to take someone to court and get a no contact order once. Stalker types are NO fun.

NBMG



ashjor911 -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 10:07:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet
I can't think of anything to say to him to snap him out of it


Kick him in the nuts sofuckin hard,
& then tell him to get over it she is moved on so he would be,
you may say this words " MOVE THE FUCK ON YOU MORON SHE IS GETTING MARRIED"

now, the kick in the nuts so he will lay on the ground in pain, & when you done talking keep running.. !!



GreedyTop -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 10:11:14 AM)

yeah! What NBMG reiteratedwhat I said PLUS what Ash said!!



DarkSteven -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 10:12:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

I like this guy, in a friendship way, and he would be a hell of a catch for someone.  He is musically talented, smart, physically attractive, makes a great living, and is probably kinky as hell,


I know some people who are attractive and make a good living, who I would not be caught anywhere near.

The dude suffers from a serious case of being creepy.  If it's been two years and he's not over her yet, it's not going to happen.





ashjor911 -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 10:19:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
The dude suffers from a serious case of being creepy.


I think they are working on cure.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 10:21:03 AM)

Ash is some kind of a supergenius!



Lockit -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 10:24:29 AM)

I know I am raw here... but that isn't just creepy. That is a mental illness playing out and that doesn't just stop and the person doesn't just snap out of it. If you think that... come to my house tonight and talk to some of the victims of a creep. Or go to the funeral... many will be there. I bet they would call this more than creepy now.

How many women are killed each and every day by a creep like that? It all starts somewhere and a creep can turn into much more.



Iamsemisweet -> RE: I am about to wash my hands of this guy (12/20/2011 10:37:45 AM)

I basically like the guy (although I WOULD NOT date him myself), and he does have many great qualities.  I want him to be happy and have a great relationship, but I can see that is not going to happen.  The creepiness is getting hard to overlook, especially after all this time.  He is going to go ape shit when he finds out his ex is getting married.  He would already know, except he goes to great pains to stay away from others who know her.  I could understand this behavior for a time, but not this long.  To be fair, though, I don't think he calls her or follows her around.  He does try to regulate his behavior to that extent.



Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875