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RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/26/2011 9:47:12 PM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		When my older sister was a kid, she had really crooked teeth.  They were bad enough that she was embarrassed to smile, but for some reason, my parents refused to buy her braces.  I think my sister's dentist told them that everyone loses their teeth eventually anyway, so it wasn't a good investment.  Despite having great teeth themselves and plenty of money, they elected to let her grow up with really bad teeth.
In her 40s, my sister had a great job with good benefits, so she ended up getting braces and having her teeth fixed.   When she finally got her braces off, she sent them to my mother for Christmas.




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RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/26/2011 9:49:56 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		LOL! Good for her!

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RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/26/2011 10:10:56 PM   
MistrixMsE


Posts: 198
Joined: 1/3/2010
From: Chicago, USA - Touring Internationally
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xXLithiumXx

My mother and I do not get along. At all. We, in fact, hate each other.

Every year, we have to make this show of being around each other because of my brother and his children. (My brother is a whiney titty baby, basically, so I get forced into being around people I hate.)

I have decided to up the ante on not only not being invited back, but possibly making it so that she never speaks to me again.

I never buy her a gift, and she never gives me a gift. She is the biggest prude on the planet.

I am going to buy her a neon pink double headed dildo. The giant, huge, totally impossible to ignore, may have its own zip code, knobby bumps, and super improved vibrating motion twirly heads...

Yes. Yes I am.


I think I have found my soul sister! Wanna go shopping together next xmas? hehehe


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Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/26/2011 10:16:29 PM   
MistrixMsE


Posts: 198
Joined: 1/3/2010
From: Chicago, USA - Touring Internationally
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seababy

quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

Actually, Lithium....I'm not angry about it. (no, really, I'm not)  I'm having WAYYY too much fun with this to be angry.  After they left, and I went through the freezer goodies, my Mom and I were laughing so hard I thought I was gonna die.  I just gotta laugh about it.....just as I laugh every year when they shove lamb in front of my face.... after a certain point, it's just damn funny!

I gotta say, though, giving two language dictionaries to someone who doesn't speak either language is just plain hilarious!

FYI....Anthrax: not a good option. that's the "business" I'm in--Anthrax is too much like work.  She doesn't show off her money....she's just remarkably cheap.  I was thinking....maybe for next year....I've got a cabinet full of expired canned goods...


Store the meat until next year and give it back



But thaw it first... right before bringing it by.. I mean.. a week before bringing it by... muahahaha


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RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/26/2011 10:20:47 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Years ago the VP of a small start up where I worked, called a meeting with me and the president, to lodge a complaint against me.  When I asked specifically what I had done to upset her, she said "I just don't like your aura."

A few weeks later we had a holiday gift exchange.  I gave her a basket of aura cleansing bath gels.


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Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/27/2011 12:21:34 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		FR

You all think this is a joke. One day the person who gave you that terrible gift is going to be at your house and if it is not proudly displayed on your body, the mantle, hutch or coffee table, you are so busted.

"Where is that gift I gave you ?"
"Huh"
"Yes, the gold plated dinosaur statue with the pink artificial Bonzai tree with the ten naked green pygmies hanging down"
"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, it's in the shop"

I mean if you tell them it is in the garage or attic you are fucked. If you told them the starving children in Africa got it you are fucked. But you know it could be worse.

"Why don't you burn one of those insence we bought you"
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH
"I ummmm, don't have a ighter"
"Here"
"The smoke detector will go off"
"It didn't last time"
Yes, and it killed the fucking dog.
"What was that flavor again"
"Limerick lime and frog, it's very rare"
"Goooooood"

Or :

"How come you aren't wearing the dress we bought you"
"You mean the orange one with the purple and blue stripes"
"Yes"
"Ummmmmmmm, it's in the wash" Yeah, in the fucking river !

Now if you're hitched it is a whole different story. The consequences could be gravelike. Observe :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Twivg7GkYts

I know it's been here before but it bears repeating. And I don't think it even means much if you are dominant. Powerful shit. Powerful.

T^T

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/27/2011 12:52:11 AM   
seababy


Posts: 845
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline 		Extra ram would work for me. Still funny though.

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Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/27/2011 1:07:27 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		Oh my god that was hysterical!

(for the record....I would love a Dyson for a gift....)

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Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/27/2011 3:09:53 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

A few weeks later we had a holiday gift exchange.  I gave her a basket of aura cleansing bath gels.


Priceless.

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Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/27/2011 4:30:56 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		A dead turtle.

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RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/27/2011 7:59:04 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		I just gave Lizard her Christmas present. A hand-crocheted combo hood and scarf in various pink colors.

Her girlfriend LOVES it! The right klitzhy gift.

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Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/27/2011 8:04:06 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		ok so it wasn't a bad gift but it was funny as hell to me.

This Christmas my daughter gave me a container full of pickles lol.

She has this amish farmers market across the street from her and she knows I absolutely love their homemade garlic pickles. I will eat an entire container in a sitting. So on Christmas day she puts a brown paper bag under the tree and we're opening gifts and it was pickles hahahaha.

We both started laughing. Master was like "what are you both laughing about?" lol.
Yeah...the pickles are gone already.


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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/27/2011 8:48:57 PM   
Masticator


Posts: 33
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline 		I'm trying to decide between nothing plus a story about how they really had gotten me a gift but their teenager wanted it so they gave it to her instead. (Yes I was there when she opened it.) .... or the mothballs from my first serious love. (Yes there were moths.) ... or the pen and used socks from my parents who forgot it was my 16th birthday and gave me these "panic gifts".

But those stories from long ago (and even more recent ones in the OP's case) turn into hilarity that gives such amusement and laughter to the listeners that there was a good gift tucked in after all!


(in reply to hausboy)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/27/2011 8:51:10 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		I got a snickers bar for my birthday once. I hate snickers.
Now had it been a Milky Way....

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Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/28/2011 5:43:08 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

ok so it wasn't a bad gift but it was funny as hell to me.

This Christmas my daughter gave me a container full of pickles lol.

She has this amish farmers market across the street from her and she knows I absolutely love their homemade garlic pickles. I will eat an entire container in a sitting. So on Christmas day she puts a brown paper bag under the tree and we're opening gifts and it was pickles hahahaha.

We both started laughing. Master was like "what are you both laughing about?" lol.
Yeah...the pickles are gone already.



Will...not...make...pickle..comment...no...matter...how...difficult...it...may...be...to...restrain...myself...


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Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Worst gift...EVER! - 12/28/2011 6:24:28 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		LOL Kana!! the avatar suits the post PERFECTLY!!

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 96
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