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Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 7:04:40 PM   
intriguedLynn


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/17/2011
Status: offline 		I was testing sub's limits for receiving oral pleasure, and I was enjoying myself immensely when he used a safe word because it was "too intense." Suggestions for appropriate punishment?

***edit - addition to original post***
Oops, I omitted that he was to inform me when he was close to his limit or ready to cum.
So my question should have been, suggestions for appropriate punishment for disobeying..



< Message edited by intriguedLynn -- 12/27/2011 7:36:18 PM >
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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 7:05:35 PM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		why would you punish someone for using their safe word?

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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 7:14:57 PM   
DarkSteven


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Status: offline 		You were testing his limits.  He safeworded.  So you succeeded in pushing his limits as far as possible. You did exactly what you wanted.

What's the issue?


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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 7:15:55 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

why would you punish someone for using their safe word?


Because you're a clueless bint.

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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 7:22:16 PM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		Hibulious! MOI?

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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 7:26:12 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Ya silleh! You know who I meant!

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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 7:26:48 PM   
Fornica


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Status: offline 		I cannot hear you over the sound of my own weeping.

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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 7:28:07 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		I would punish the hell out of my pet for doing something like that by taking them out to a nice dinner, giving them a long, warm bubble bath and cuddling them until they fell asleep. In short, I would be PROUD of my pet for having the wherewithal and conviction in themselves to use their safe-word if they were too uncomfortable, instead of regretting it later on.

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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 7:29:33 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Status: offline 		~bewbie hugs Fornica~

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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 7:35:36 PM   
intriguedLynn


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Joined: 11/17/2011
Status: offline 		***addition to original post***
Oops,I omitted that he was to inform me when he was close to his limit or ready to cum.
So my question should have been, suggestions for punishment for disobeying..

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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 7:39:00 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Maybe he didn't know he had reached it.

While we don't have a safeword, I don't always know when I can't handle more because either it's because it was the way a hit fell on me and just shocked me into reality at the last moment or it could be that I was so zoned out that I can't tell when my body can't take more.

So instead of punishing him, how about you both sit down and talk to one another about what it is you both expect from one another? And get to know each other mentally and physically for awhile?



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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 7:48:30 PM   
intriguedLynn


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/17/2011
Status: offline 		Ah,  a discussion is pretty what I had planned for tonight when he arrives.
I am looking more for ideas for if this happens again.
He had never disobeyed before, so I am thinking a good talk and discovering together if or how he can be more aware... or if he was aware and was just pushing himself for my pleasure, until the threshold was too close to give warning. So many aspects to consider which is why I love the constructive comments or criticisms from this forum.


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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 7:50:38 PM   
Lockit


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Status: offline 		All I have to say is... I am fucking single and people like you have someone? Shit! Okay, I know why I am single besides being a picky bitch... but really... seriously... how the hell does this happen that someone so clueless gets somebody and keeps them?

Oh... yeah... they won't keep them unless they have absolutely no sense at all or they would be with anyone just to get someone.

Wake up! Even after people said... oh no... you found a reason to punish... so punish the wimp... for whatever... but if he has any balls at all... you won't be keeping that one.


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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 7:54:43 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		Ahhh, well, that makes all the difference in the world then. Little details like that omitted, being fairly new in the relationship, etc... Yes, I would agree with LittleWonder here. A serious discussion would be in order, especially with it being the first infraction. Reiterating that a safeword is not something to be just thrown about willy-nilly.

As far as possible future punishments, a nice stint in a COLD shower, oh, 2 minutes, should be enough to "cool him down" a bit, without hurting him. And something he will remember for a long long time.

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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 8:00:41 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
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Status: offline 		I am not sure how in a situation that doesn't include some dangerous aspect to a safe word, could be punishable within a new relationship and maybe not knowing at all how close is too close. Haven't you all ever had a big O... that snuck up on you? If you haven't I feel sorry for you.

Why is this punishment shit the first answer to so many? Especially new people.

Besides that... every... I mean... every blow job I ever gave... I knew how close he was.


< Message edited by Lockit -- 12/27/2011 8:05:58 PM >

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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 8:15:09 PM   
DarthVaderOfLove


Posts: 95
Joined: 7/17/2011
Status: offline 		I had a friend that was in a frat for a while, the dumb bastard. They made him wear burlap underwear for a week. He thought it sucked pretty bad. Maybe try that.

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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 8:16:18 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		Too many people use punishment as a first option when the first option should be discussion instead. Especially in a new relationship where you're still getting used to each other and a no-no has never happened before. I agree with Lockit, with every - I mean EVERY - blow job I've ever given, I could tell how close he was to cumming. When my tongue felt it coming up the shaft, it was TOO LATE. Maybe he couldn't tell, but I could. I think just about everyone's had at least one sneak up on them, though, or am I wrong?

NBMG

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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 8:27:47 PM   
J1M


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/11/2011
Status: offline 		So if i am a dom, do I need a safe word in case someone "tests my limits for receiving oral pleasure"? I have received a lot of oral pleasure, and have never felt compelled to use a safe word. If I ever do, the "administrator" is free to punish me as she pleases lol. Not holding my breath lol.

In response to OP's question, I would say the punishment for becoming too excited, and not warning you, should be some sort of tease and denial/orgasm control... after your "discussion", of course.

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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 9:08:15 PM   
SthrnCom4t


Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		Lesson for both of you....don't rely on your submissive to use his safe word appropriately. You are responsible, especially in stimulation overload situations.

How you handle this will make or break your relationship. Most submissives I know feel shame in having to use their safe word. We give them one to allow them to feel safe. If you punish when it's used, you create a fail/fail situation. Long-term, that doesn't work.

For next time, use a 'caution' and a 'stop completely' safe word concept. Generally you'll get to caution first, and that is just notification to renegotiate. Win-win.



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RE: Appropriate punishment suggestions - 12/27/2011 9:11:32 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		Maybe use yellow for caution/slow down and red for completely stop.

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