RE: Courting a male submissive

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NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/25/2012 2:14:51 PM)
Actually, I'm going to a play party tonight and about a third to a quarter of the people there will be male subs with their Dommes. With the ladies' permission, I'm going to ask their subs what their opinions are on how they like to be courted, and just see what they say. They're all friends of mine, so they shouldn't be too nervous talking about it. It will make for very interesting conversation...... NBMG

Baroana -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/25/2012 2:35:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana In my humble opinion, and speaking in generalities only, I find that differences between the male mind and the female mind make courting a man tricky if not impossible. Hmm. There could be truth in that. I know that certain things can feel damned awkward. Or, more to the point, that I've handled them awkwardly. This is why I sometimes wish the good lord had made me gay.

JeffBC -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/25/2012 4:06:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana I find that differences between the male mind and the female mind make courting a man tricky if not impossible. OK, it's not that I'm exactly laughing AT you... but this made me laugh out loud. For the record, I suspect that courting ANYONE is practically impossible. When you think, for a minute, what a load of expectations get dropped on that word "courting" it's amazing anyone succeeds ever. I also feel compelled to point out that you females have a long running and well deserved reputation for being somewhere between inscrutable and totally opaque. I just don't think getting into someone else's mind is ever easy. Personally, I'm glad of that. I like the exploration part quite a bit.

Baroana -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/25/2012 4:30:07 PM)
I don't know whether to argue with you or agree with you. "Courting" is a pretty stupid word, IMO.

JeffBC -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/25/2012 4:56:09 PM)
Well, I wasn't exactly arguing with you. I'm pretty sure courting men IS hard. I just doubt it's much easier to court women. I strongly suspect that humans are reasonably inscrutable :)

Baroana -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/25/2012 5:10:30 PM)
Well, I hate battle of the sexes debates, and it certainly is not my intention to start one. You probably have a good point with regard to "courting a woman," whatever that means. I don't know how often that works, or what methods work better than others. My view is that neither sex by any means has the market cornered on acting in contradictory ways; sending mixed signals; and saying one thing while doing another. With men, I just though it would be a bit more difficult in general to pursue them. My impression is that it's a combination of their space issues and the fact that men always seem to be into "the chase." They say it themselves. They don't seem to like it when a woman offers herself up on a platter (like by showing up at his door with a bouquet of roses, saying "Hey, how you doing?")

PeonForHer -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/25/2012 5:10:44 PM)
FR Courting just must involve flowers, mustn't it? Surely flowers are part of the very definition of 'courting'? No woman has ever brought me flowers. Not once. Just saying. Recently, I bought what I thought were spring onions to go with the huge cheese sarnie I was going to have that evening. On getting home I discovered that they were actually daffodils. The only frigging flowers ever to have got into my home; I bought them myself, and entirely accidentally.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/25/2012 9:09:14 PM)
Don't most men like flowers?

mummyman321 -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/25/2012 9:34:10 PM)
I love flowers. Carnations are very tasty!

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/25/2012 9:45:25 PM)
So are nasturtiums and marigolds! (It all comes down to snacks, really)

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/26/2012 12:11:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl Actually, I'm going to a play party tonight and about a third to a quarter of the people there will be male subs with their Dommes. With the ladies' permission, I'm going to ask their subs what their opinions are on how they like to be courted, and just see what they say. Well I did my mini-survey & the local guys seem to like the direct approach. i.e. Are you available? If so, I'm interested in getting to know you better. Would you like to meet somewhere for coffee? etc. One mentioned he liked the flirting too. It was interesting and I'm glad I did it. NBMG

Baroana -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/26/2012 12:17:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl quote: ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl Actually, I'm going to a play party tonight and about a third to a quarter of the people there will be male subs with their Dommes. With the ladies' permission, I'm going to ask their subs what their opinions are on how they like to be courted, and just see what they say. Well I did my mini-survey & the local guys seem to like the direct approach. i.e. Are you available? If so, I'm interested in getting to know you better. Would you like to meet somewhere for coffee? etc. One mentioned he liked the flirting too. It was interesting and I'm glad I did it. NBMG Is that the kind of courting we were talking about? That's it, I officially hate that word, and I'm never using it again.

mummyman321 -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/26/2012 12:23:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl quote: ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl Actually, I'm going to a play party tonight and about a third to a quarter of the people there will be male subs with their Dommes. With the ladies' permission, I'm going to ask their subs what their opinions are on how they like to be courted, and just see what they say. Well I did my mini-survey & the local guys seem to like the direct approach. i.e. Are you available? If so, I'm interested in getting to know you better. Would you like to meet somewhere for coffee? etc. One mentioned he liked the flirting too. It was interesting and I'm glad I did it. NBMG Direct approach....no no no....flirting is a must. Sitting down and having a cup of coffee is okay. Now playing with a roll of saran wrap while your are talking with flirty looks, now there you go :)

Baroana -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/26/2012 12:25:58 PM)
There it is, from Merriam Webster. quote: 1 a : to seek to gain or achieve <court power> b (1) : allure, tempt (2) : to act so as to invite or provoke <courts disaster> 2 a : to seek the affections of; especially : to seek to win a pledge of marriage from b of an animal : to perform actions in order to attract for mating <a male bird courting a female> 3 a : to seek to attract (as by solicitous attention or offers of advantages) <college teams courting high school basketball stars> b : to seek an alliance with In my mind I was not including in this term such simple actions as sending an email to initiate contact, or suggesting a casual get-together. I thought we were talking about something more along the lines of importunate wooing.

PeonForHer -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/26/2012 1:15:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana I thought we were talking about something more along the lines of importunate wooing. No wonder I've never been much good at wooing. I've hardly ever been overweight, never mind importunate.

Baroana -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/26/2012 1:18:34 PM)
I don't get it.

PeonForHer -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/26/2012 1:27:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana I don't get it. I was doing British humour, Baroana. The way that this works is that I pretend to be stupid - in this example, pretending to mix up the words 'importunate' with e.g. 'corpulent' and 'portly'. No worries: not even I find it all that funny. :-)

Baroana -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/26/2012 1:29:18 PM)
I'm well versed in British humour. That wasn't funny, and in my house you'd be caned.

PeonForHer -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/26/2012 1:34:53 PM)
That was funny.

Baroana -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/26/2012 1:37:51 PM)
Told you.

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