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FriendlyMuppet -> RE: Courting a male submissive (2/28/2012 6:00:13 PM)
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I know I'm coming very late to this discussion, but I've been away from Collarme for quite some time, so anyhoos, here goes:
Over the years, I've found it's been really a negative experience to either be a passive submissive or just one who hopes that dominants might contact him. While it has happened from time to time, it's very rare, and for the most part, you generally can't influence who even notices you. So, you end up being only the recipient of attention, and quite often it's so rare that it's not even enough to be considered active.
On the other hand, I've also noticed that a normally passive submissive, like myself, has a lot of difficulty actually activating or initiating a relationship because we're generally just not very good at doing it. To be honest, over the years, most relationships with dominants I've ended up in have been with women who knew me when I was owned by someone else (and then jumped in when she realized I was no longer owned). That, generally, doesn't work out very well. So, again, it ends up becoming somewhat of a negative experience.
To answer the original question (from the submissive side), I can say that it has happened when I've been involved in organizations that were designed to be organized and controlled by women (as a part of the dynamic). And ONLY in those situations, has it ever worked out well for me. What I discovered was that when women were expected to be the aggressors in such relationships, they acted accordingly, and pretty much everyone was happy with the dynamic. The few submissives who were really only submissive in name only did not do well whenever they tried to activate relationships on their own (and they often did). While such organizations are rare and often difficult to find, when involved in those types of groups, I've found such behavior works really, really well for everyone involved. Unfortunately, there just aren't that many groups of that nature.
Unfortunately, we live in a society that is very male-aggressive in nature whereas even femdom relationships are quite often generated through the same mechanisms (women waiting for men to activate the relationships...i.e., a dominant woman at a bar stool waiting for a submissive male to approach her in conversation). While there are some venues where this isn't the case, for the most part, it's very hard to find a comfortable atmosphere where the opposite approach takes place in a way where it's not a gimmick or generated by one specific woman who acts differently than the norm.
As such, a lot of submissives, in my opinion, will either end up alone, trying to turn vanilla women into dominants, or chasing after very select few women who are most likely being chatted up by social butterfly guys who are pretty good at that sort of thing.
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