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RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 8:11:31 AM

Kana

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I'd be cool with all but number one.
Not so much because I love anal sex (sometimes I do, sometimes I could care less) but because of a more base belief that, damnitall, I own the slut, all her holes are mine.
And sometimes, hell, frequently, the fact that it's taboo, painful and something she doesn't at all enjoy only adds to the pleasure of the act, makes it a real surrender

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Post #: 21

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 8:39:54 AM

Epytropos

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Those aren't *that* extreme of limits. As a rule I'm not fond of any absolutely hard limits in a M/s relationship and I very rarely play with subs who have orifices which are off-limits (if you take my meaning) unless it's just a one-off I met in a club or something, but that said many (most?) are more flexible than I. I've seen subs with more extensive limits than you paired off so I'm sure you'll find someone.

I also suspect those will slowly start to fall down as you get closer to a dom. Nude pics and third parties are mostly a matter of trust - if you trust someone to keep you safe and not share your modesty with others then they will almost certainly disappear. Anal I'm convinced is something every woman eventually develops a curiosity about under the right circumstances, though I don't have a sufficient sample size to be certain

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Post #: 22

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 9:36:17 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

I don't even understand why is fisting a turn on for men. What is the kick out of putting a whole fist into a vagina? But it's psychological, I know a baby head could get out of that, but..., it scares me. And I find kegel a real hassle to do, to get it back in shape again after all that.

M likes doing it to his friend because it makes her squirt. My ex and I tried to no avail - perhaps because I haven't given birth. We thought it sounded like something fun to try.

You sound very timid. That's fine. Find someone worthy of trust who will proceed slowly.

It's also fine to have limits. You may find they change as you explore. You may drop some and add some. I wouldn't lead with a bunch of limits but rather with what you are interested in exploring.

Welcome!

KK

(in reply to jaslyn82)

Post #: 23

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 9:45:31 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
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So, "no anal of any kind" means I can't get a rimjob? Yeah, I'd pass at number one so, I won't even bother with the rest. LOL

Peace and comfort,

Michael

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Post #: 24

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 10:51:25 AM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
Your view seems to be pretty narrow of "What's allowed."

Huh, how do you figure? That seems like a real short list to me.

My quick reply didn't clarify enough, and I apologise.

What I meant is that she seems afraid that she won't be found to be acceptable; that dominant men have a laundry list of requirements and her limits will make her off limits.

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Post #: 25

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 12:22:08 PM

Fetters4U

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: jaslyn82
Could you give me an example of what a mean spirited creative sadist could do?
I guess it's hard to cover all areas. I wanted to add anything that does not hurt me emotionally but I like to think that's common sense for most sane doms.

Please never assume that most sane doms are anything of the kind. Common sense, rarely is. Emotional sadism is a HUGE pleasure for many people. And people consent to it, happily.
This is what YOU are "ready for" not what anyone else is up for. Its not a competition to be the subliest sub. You dont mention death, permanent injury, choking, breath play, vomit, bukakke, pinching, punching, slapping, kicking, maybe thats cool with you, but i get the feeling that you are fairly new, I apologise if this isn't the case, but please go thru the list below, n then come back because the stuff on there is mild compared to what mean spirited people can do with a tied up helpless person.

http://www.thebrc.net/check_list/check_list1.php?Submit=Continue...
its a couple of pages long. It might give you a few more limits to use, or not!!!

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(in reply to Lucylastic)

Post #: 26

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 12:24:46 PM

GotSteel

Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U
However, in fairness, I should point out that they are way too narrow in scope and far too specific. They will provide you with very little protection from a mean-spirited and creative sadist.

(in reply to Fetters4U)

Post #: 27

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 12:27:42 PM

GotSteel

Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
What I meant is that she seems afraid that she won't be found to be acceptable; that dominant men have a laundry list of requirements and her limits will make her off limits.

Ahh I see what you're getting at.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 28

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 1:29:24 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jaslyn82
Yea, I'm refering more to, tie you up, go out and party and leave you alone at home for hours, and maybe untie you 8 hrs later or something. Not sure..., I'm gonna enjoy that sort of things.

Whoa, you've had that done to you or some jerk is proposing to do so???? I'd have thought such a practise is more in keeping with sociopaths - somewhere during the torture stage in between kidnapping you and murdering you. Not so much a hard limit itself but you should stay away from him altogether...!

quote:

I don't even understand why is fisting a turn on for men. What is the kick out of putting a whole fist into a vagina? But it's psychological, I know a baby head could get out of that, but..., it scares me. And I find kegel a real hassle to do, to get it back in shape again after all that.

I don't understand it either (if it really is) and it's not a specific turn-on of mine. But for all the creative things one can do to tease/torture/tantalise my sub's most private of parts, "sock puppet" doesn't even require props.

But ok, a psychological issue, particularly one that scares you etc; that's a valid reason. In my relationships, we discuss such things - and not with a skewed intention to changing your mind. I'd wanna know all things that might cause my sub property to "melt down", and not in the good way.

And I'll just pass straight over "kegel" like I know what that even is....

quote:

Well, no matter how safe you try to be, you could get robbed, or you could die, and people would have to go through your things. Somehow, nude pictures could get out EVEN if it's not your fault.

Weeeeeeeeell, yeah....., but are you some sort of celebrity? Otherwise, nude pics aren't exactly a rare commodity to obtain. My own particular trophies come from her being my personal property rather than just another naked lady. And did I mention I like *tasteful* - rather than hardcore or graphic? I won't go so far as to say artistic 'cause that would imply "ten thumbs" Focus is artistic....

Everyone dies and uncovering a family secret as a consequence is all part of being family. The things my mum yousta frown on only for us to go through her things when she passed.... lol I guess mum's are entitled to be hypocrites when it concerns their own kids. And so what - A), she died; and B), we're not talking anything shameful or illegal...! If she were anyone but family, we wouldn't even blink and it'd be forgotten in a minute....

I value my privacy and take houshold security quite seriously. While my home isn't a fortress, there's enough security obstacles in place to make a would-be burglar look at other houses in the street, first.

Overall, and assuming you're not some well known celeb, I think what you're describing amounts to a dose of paranoia. And that's the kind of thing that affects trust in relationships - which is why it stood right out in your list....

Focus.

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(in reply to jaslyn82)

Post #: 29

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 1:36:49 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

yeah, I don't worry so much about the stuff my family would find once I'm dead. My daughter and sisters would just go "eeeewwww" and my mom would just be like "what is that?" <she would seriously be clueless>

I already know there are nude pics of me floating around somewhere out there due to the ex Dom. It's been over 10 years. Yeah I was pissed about it at first but over the years I just shrug my shoulders and think there are worse things than being seen nude. I just don't worry about it and Master has pics of me <obvious from anyone looking at Master's profile LOL>. Again, not a big deal. There are worse things.

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Post #: 30

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 3:54:42 PM

Greta75

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Joined: 2/6/2011
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*** nevermind***

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/5/2012 3:57:14 PM >

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 31

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 3:55:57 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

I already know there are nude pics of me floating around somewhere out there due to the ex Dom. It's been over 10 years. Yeah I was pissed about it at first but over the years I just shrug my shoulders and think there are worse things than being seen nude.

That would be my biggest nightmare.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 32

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 4:04:21 PM

jaslyn82

Posts: 19
Joined: 1/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

Weeeeeeeeell, yeah....., but are you some sort of celebrity? Otherwise, nude pics aren't exactly a rare commodity to obtain.

Whether I am alive or dead..., my family will be devastated if they ever see any form of nude pictures. And what if work colleagues or vanilla friends ever see it. I would just die. Not strong enough to deal with such a reality if it ever happens.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 33

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 4:05:44 PM

jaslyn82

Posts: 19
Joined: 1/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

http://www.thebrc.net/check_list/check_list1.php?Submit=Continue...
its a couple of pages long
It might give you a few more limits to use, or not!!!

Thank you for this, it is very helpful.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

Post #: 34

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 4:09:17 PM

fetisheden

Posts: 274
Joined: 1/25/2011
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it's not unreasonable to have standards. the only problem is these days there are so few people with standards....

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Post #: 35

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 5:20:57 PM

kitkat105

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

You sound very timid. That's fine. Find someone worthy of trust who will proceed slowly.

It's also fine to have limits. You may find they change as you explore. You may drop some and add some. I wouldn't lead with a bunch of limits but rather with what you are interested in exploring.

The trust and intimacy involved in D/s is pretty amazing. You'll be pleasantly surprised when you find that special someone.

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Post #: 36

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 7:32:21 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Most of that stuff, he's not interested in either. Neither of us have any interest in degradation, giving or receiving. He does take pictures of me but since we live together, and I know he keeps them securely locked up, it's fine with me.

We would like to be able to experiment with fisting but he's got really big hands and it doesn't work.

You've been watching too much porn to think that every guy out there is going to want to parade you around nude in public, shit on you, trade you to all his friends etc. Damn few will. And those you aren't competent with.

As far as the anal and the no pictures, expect to be asked why. If it's just that you don't like the idea but haven't ever researched how to do it safely, you may want to learn more about it. If it's a physical problem, then of course any decent human being isn't going to want to make a chronic illness worse.

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Post #: 37

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 8:15:01 PM

jaslyn82

Posts: 19
Joined: 1/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

As far as the anal.

The thing about anal is, I have even known vanilla women who derived pleasure from it swear to me it is awesome.
But from what I have experienced with it, and it was in a very gentle manner with someone who wanted to try to ease me into it slowly and gently, I still cringed and hated the whole sensation of it. I equate the sensation of feeling that to the terrifying feeling of spiders crawling all over me. I think I have the same problem with anal, as some women who constantly feel pain with penetration, psychological, I am just uncomfortable with anal entry.

< Message edited by jaslyn82 -- 1/5/2012 8:16:08 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 38

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 8:17:15 PM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jaslyn82

No anal or anal play or anything with anal
No public display
No nude pictures
No third parties involved in plays
No breaking skin or drawing blood
No making me eat feces or urine
No making me eat like an animal, from a dog dish or something
No tying me up for hours and leaving me be
No fisting

Any possibly? Probably several.

(in reply to jaslyn82)

Post #: 39

RE: Can any dom possibly be content with these limits? - 1/5/2012 9:54:39 PM

SpiritedRadiance

Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

Those aren't *that* extreme of limits. As a rule I'm not fond of any absolutely hard limits in a M/s relationship and I very rarely play with subs who have orifices which are off-limits (if you take my meaning) unless it's just a one-off I met in a club or something, but that said many (most?) are more flexible than I. I've seen subs with more extensive limits than you paired off so I'm sure you'll find someone.

I also suspect those will slowly start to fall down as you get closer to a dom. Nude pics and third parties are mostly a matter of trust - if you trust someone to keep you safe and not share your modesty with others then they will almost certainly disappear. Anal I'm convinced is something every woman eventually develops a curiosity about under the right circumstances, though I don't have a sufficient sample size to be certain

Actually No Nude Pics and third parties arent Just a matter of trust..

I trust a lot of people in life to keep me safe but, the second anyone im sexually involved with is sexually involved with a third party, is the day he no longer has a relationship with me. Its not about trust, Ill let a man take me by the throat slam me against the wall and fuck me senseless, ill let someone shove hundreds of needles in me and several over my spine. But i cannot mentally or emotionally handle my partner being sexual with someone else, It depresses me, It hurts me, and it means that he is not concerned for me as his partner, by putting something that will endanger me mentally and emotionally to the point of needing medical intervention, over his want to fuck another person...

Also I have no desire for anal at all... I have and will engage in the act but it does nothing for me, it never has and probably will never turn me on... Im not curious about it but it will not kill me to have it done to me there for it my partner wants it great.... He can have it, and he will no the entire time its simply for his enjoyment only not on my part...

Edited to fix the quote of doom issue

< Message edited by SpiritedRadiance -- 1/5/2012 9:55:12 PM >

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(in reply to Epytropos)

Post #: 40

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