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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/5/2012 11:20:45 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I am still befuddled about the intro v. this thread. Is the wife possessed by demon rum and utterly sexless unless the lights are off?

The story, it is wibbly-wobbly.

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/5/2012 11:37:51 AM

searching4mysir

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From what I understand, their sex life is practically non-existent, she was severely traumatized from a prior relationship and her therapists seemed to have placed fault with her so she will no longer go to therapy. He seems like he is trying to make this work for everyone involved.

Personally, I think that IF he can get her to a kink-aware therapist, AND they BOTH get therapy, she could actually domme him effectively and take back the control that was stolen from her in the prior relationship, and in that feel empowered again while he gets his kicks. The thing is that they both have to want it.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 1/5/2012 11:38:33 AM >

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/5/2012 11:41:57 AM

LadyHibiscus

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They both have to want THE SAME THING. And that's always the tricky bit, innit?

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/5/2012 12:17:03 PM

DarkSteven

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Fella, you say how important the church is in your lives. The good news is that churches have been trying to make themselves relevant to the modern world.

See if your church has a Marriage Encounter. They are weekends that revive the honeymoon feelings you two had, and also teach advanced communication techniques. It sounds like the two of you are living on your individual lonely little islands right now.

Good luck.

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/5/2012 2:52:51 PM

Fornica

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I read it as the church being important to him but not her?

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/5/2012 3:45:50 PM

searching4mysir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

I read it as the church being important to him but not her?

Correct. She is not a believer (I've been chatting with the OP on the other side).

This being said, I would hope that if she wants to save her marriage she would be willing to go and deal with some scripture being quoted even if she doesn't believe it.

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/5/2012 3:47:48 PM

Fornica

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I don't envy his position :(

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/5/2012 3:49:30 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Speaking as a non believer who thought she could deal with someone being religious...it's virtually impossible. born again types need to smear their beliefs everywhere.

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/5/2012 5:11:36 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Just so you know...your getting off has exactly ZERO to do with slavery, submission, or service. If I need something done, I don't care if he enjoys it or not, I want it done.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Speaking as a non believer who thought she could deal with someone being religious...it's virtually impossible. born again types need to smear their beliefs everywhere.

Totally. On both of these.

NBMG

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/5/2012 9:16:01 PM

DuncanBlues

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Honestly, I think I'm just a sad person living with another sad person. I wasn't this sad before I married. I think she's happier than she was when we first married and I'm more sad. We've met in the middle. Probably, I'm living with a person with mental problems who refuses to admit it. I married her because I was in my 40s and was afraid I was never going to find anyone else.

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/5/2012 9:17:25 PM

DuncanBlues

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And, yes, my journal makes me pretty sad, too. And reading that it makes others sad really breaks my heart.

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/5/2012 10:04:49 PM

DuncanBlues

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On the church front: She was raised Catholic and still goes when she visits her mom or vice versa. Otherwise, she has a New Age/Buddist/Christian thing going.

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/6/2012 1:06:09 AM

FrostedFlake

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Duncan.

I still think what I said the last time. I am sure you recall. I want to point out that, in the event suicide becomes attractive again, anything else, anything at all, is by definition a MUCH better idea. Even if it is an idea you are refusing to consider, now.

Like, for example, actually having that frank, serious discussion with your wife about sex. With all the cards on the table, face up, and all the chips in the pot. Scary, yes. Difficult? That too. But unreasonable? Sexual fidelity is, I think, something more than "forgoing all others". There is something about marriage that much more than implies that there will be lovemaking. If consecrating the act of love is not the purpose of marriage, then I am unaware of the purpose of marriage. "Save yourself for marriage" they told you all your life. And you did. You are not the bad guy, even if being kinky embarrasses you. I think DarkStevens' suggestion of marriage counseling within the Church might, if acted upon, provide you the opening, the support and the peer pressure to carry this to a successful conclusion. And if it doesn't, that would strengthen your case for annulment. A thing very different from divorce.

I wonder if you have consulted your pastor. I wonder if you have consulted your attorney. I wonder too if you have consulted your conscience ...or if it is something else within you that has been giving you advice. I don't think alcohol is a good problem solving tool. Where did that idea come from?

Wishing you all good things

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/6/2012 7:12:59 AM

DuncanBlues

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Yes, I do all that. She works from home, but I do talk about her work. She hates what she does and I try to give her encouragement to find another job but she writes for low pay for "content mills" -- for which she is way overqualified -- and this gives her no time to look for better paying work -- adding to her misery.

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/6/2012 7:18:47 AM

DuncanBlues

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Although I count myself a "born-again" Christian it is only because Jesus uses that term in the Bible. I have heard Catholics use it, too. It only means that you have been born of God after being born of humans. That said, my theology is biblical, not "Catholic" or "Born-Again" or "Protestant", etc. I don't know that I believe in redemptive suffering, but I do believe I am suffering because I made a bad decision. And sadly, my wife is suffering because I made a bad decision. She may be suffering because of her own bad decision, as well, but I'm partly responsible because I know that I knew better. I'm not certain whether or not she knew better.

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/6/2012 7:40:15 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Dare I ask which version of the Bible you are using, and in what language?

Bad decisions can be rectified. You really can cut your losses and walk away, if that's the best thing for both of you.

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/6/2012 8:16:49 AM

DuncanBlues

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I don't use one particular version. Some are translated word-for-word, some are translated to get the general meaning. It's easier to get to the original meaning if you read several versions, and use some of each type of translation. I don't like to use a translation that goes in with the agenda of the translator(s). I find it best if there is a panel of translators who disagree on the text. I don't read Greek or Hebrew and don't speak any other languages fluently, so the only translations I read are in English. I have some Greek and Hebrew interlinears, which have the English written below their counterparts in the other language.

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/6/2012 12:57:07 PM

Fornica

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Your wife is an adult, who made a decision to marry you, correct?
Do you WANT to stay married? Do you love each other?

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/6/2012 4:08:13 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DuncanBlues

How can I get my wife to be my mistress?

1) Grab her favorite pair of white pumps out of the closet.

2) With a permanent marker, write "Kick Me" on each shoe.

3) Get nekkid... walk up to her... kneel... and hand her the shoes.

DONE!!!

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RE: How can I get my wife to be my mistress? - 1/6/2012 4:08:54 PM

mnottertail

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Fuck her in the ass and wipe it off on the curtains.....

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