Ceyx
Posts: 89
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline
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Halcyone and I have talked this to death, I think, but here's the short form from my experience.
Long-distance relationships require dedication, creativity, imagination and honesty. These are good qualities in any relationship, but they're more in demand when one is trying to maintain a bond-- especially a D/s bond-- over a distance.
Dedication-- both parties must be willing to devote time and energy to one another, regularly and consistently, even when their schedules are different and there isn't the positive reinforcement of physical presence. Setting aside the question of play, it is, I think, more mentally taxing to spend an evening on IM or on the phone than it would be curled up on the couch with your partner watching television.
Creativity-- in terms of maintaining the D/s dynamic, your options will be limited if you can't be together very often. Regular meetings are wonderful, but between times, you'll want to find ways to relate as Dominant and submissive, whether that's through some sort of online or phone play, through assigned tasks, activities or services that can be shared and rendered over a distance, etc. A submissive can't kneel in his or her Dominant's presence, but he or she can spend an hour on her knees and then write about the thoughts that arose during that time. A submissive can't make his or her Dominant a cup of coffee, but he or she can sample different coffees and then suggest a few that his or her Dominant might find especially tasty. Find ways to work around the distance.
Imagination-- when you're physically apart much of the time, you'll have to maintain your relationship mentally, and this requires that you exercise your imagination. It seems straightforward enough, but it's something that can be practiced. If you're playing on the phone or online, you'll need to visualize, and here it helps tremendously if your partner is good with words and with the use of his or her voice. Practice. If my slave is kneeling for me at an appointed time, in an appointed fashion, then my pleasure comes both from the knowledge of the act and from holding her in mind as clearly as I can-- using my imagination to live that moment with her. If you can't 'live in your head' part of the time, then I think that a long-distance relationship becomes very difficult indeed.
Honesty-- again, important in every relationship, but moreso when one is long-distance. If you say that you're going to do something, do it. If you can't, admit it. If you didn't, own up to it. It's very easy to handwave the little things when your partner isn't physically present, and little things can become big things. If everything above is going to work-- the dedication, the creativity, the imagination-- then you both have to trust that when the other person describes their part of your shared world, they're giving you the truth within reason. If there isn't honesty, and consequently trust, between you, then doubt will wreak havok on your bond when you're apart.
Long-distance can work, but it has its own special challenges, and the pleasures it provides aren't for everyone.
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RE: Long Distance relationship.. How do you All make th... - 
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.........and for sure it wont work for everyone. 
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