RE: the new submissive/slave (Full Version)

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OsideGirl -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 7:29:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: yourplaytoy2use

Truth is the world is changing, so many Mistresses, dommes, they are not fullfilling the rule. Take us subs and slaves into your homes, how else will we be trained. Train us even if we are not yours forever, if not we will find the wrong way or not at all. So many of us are left out and about not learning not enduring. You mark my words what is plentyful now will one day not be so. Keep making us pay to find our way and youll regret it later. Many of us are just starting to experience what you want us to, and you put all these dumb restrictions. We want to serve it is just you dont want to train us. Get yourselves stable and take us in so we can grow to give what you all need. I may be just a bit wrong but for as long as i have been looking i should be owned by now. Take out your strapons and open your closets, we need you.



OP, how many munches/social/events/discussion groups do you attend? Are you a member of your local D/s community?

I know a lot of Dommes in REAL LIFE and very few of them demand money from their subs/slaves. So, perhaps the answer is for you to get out from behind the computer screen and go meet your community rather than whining about not meeting people.



DesFIP -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 7:36:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Followers. They wander along behind the Doers and snap up the crumbs. If 'their' Doer flames out, they find another one.
These people rarely starve but they never really accomplish much either.

\

I don't know about this Hilly, you seem to be saying that an army should be composed entirely of generals, no privates. And that a submissive, who follows his/her dominant's requests isn't capable of accomplishing anything either.

If you go to the hospital, aren't you hoping there will be nurses for the after care as well as the surgeon? For that matter, if there aren't a couple of OR nurses and an anesthesiologist as well as the surgeon, I would be picking another hospital.

Very often it takes both the leader and the follower to get anything accomplished.



OsideGirl -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 7:40:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Followers. They wander along behind the Doers and snap up the crumbs. If 'their' Doer flames out, they find another one.
These people rarely starve but they never really accomplish much either.

\

I don't know about this Hilly, you seem to be saying that an army should be composed entirely of generals, no privates. And that a submissive, who follows his/her dominant's requests isn't capable of accomplishing anything either.

If you go to the hospital, aren't you hoping there will be nurses for the after care as well as the surgeon? For that matter, if there aren't a couple of OR nurses and an anesthesiologist as well as the surgeon, I would be picking another hospital.

Very often it takes both the leader and the follower to get anything accomplished.

Actually Des, I don't believe he was saying that submissives are followers. He was differentiating between those that actively go after what they want and people that just trail behind hoping something lucky happens. Submissives can be doers.....I know I am. If I want something I work towards getting it, I don't just passively sit on my couch hoping it will drop from the sky.



Fornica -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 7:43:35 AM)

Aw thx luv. I actually clicked "no avatar" or something similar and it defaulted to my profile one. I was startled to see my mug in here..hahahaha
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


Sidetrack: Wow! great picture Forni!





HisPet21 -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 7:58:25 AM)

quote:

The point is that very few of you so called "doms" out there hardly deserve that kind of respect.


Uhhh...Duh. Congratulations, Captain Obvious, you've realized that the world is filled with individuals who will try and take advantage of you. Shocker, right? Welcome to reality. The fact is this: There are dozens of dominants on this site who aren't really dominants, but scammers, who wish to use the desperation and ignorance of naive male subs to line their pockets. There are also dozens of dominants who use the desperation and ignorance of naive female subs to get a quick fuck. There are female submissives who use the desperation and ignorance of naive male doms to get "money to relocate," or more accurately, sucker money.

The plain fact is that you can get screwed over a thousand times over regardless of your sex or power orientation. There is always someone trying to take advantage of someone else and you can either (a) Whine about it and wonder why god has singled you out for such torture or (b) Grow up, block and report, and move on. We all have to deal with the same sh*t, OP. Our balls are just bigger than yours.



Hillwilliam -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 8:15:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Followers. They wander along behind the Doers and snap up the crumbs. If 'their' Doer flames out, they find another one.
These people rarely starve but they never really accomplish much either.

\

I don't know about this Hilly, you seem to be saying that an army should be composed entirely of generals, no privates. And that a submissive, who follows his/her dominant's requests isn't capable of accomplishing anything either.

If you go to the hospital, aren't you hoping there will be nurses for the after care as well as the surgeon? For that matter, if there aren't a couple of OR nurses and an anesthesiologist as well as the surgeon, I would be picking another hospital.

Very often it takes both the leader and the follower to get anything accomplished.


Actually, Des, the best submissives are "doers". They don't settle. they only want what is worthwhile in their personal life and they're willing to wait and work for it to make it happen.

Followers, hmmmmmmmmmm. I'd say the most common example of that would be those who get 'sub frenzy' (or Dom frenzy) and hook up with the first acceptable thing that comes along. They let others tell them what a "Twue Dom or sub" is supposed to do and when things go sour, they just hook up with something else.

Whiners......kinda self explanatory.

I was only stating what is out there.

As for job rankings, look at your military example.
Our elite units are ALL Doers from top to bottom. Just because someone is in a position to tell you what to do doesn't mean you aren't a forceful SOB when it becomes necessary.
The officer corps are chuck full of Followers who kiss whatever ass is necessary to try for advancement and their "Career".
In a hospital, are you saying a nurse can't be an Alpha or Dom in her (or his) work in spite of the fact that he or she is technically subordinate to someone?

Ive seen a lot of so called subordinates (including yours truly) top hell out of someone from the bottom of the corporate ladder.



toxic66 -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 9:12:40 AM)

People always overcomplicate things. What you are seeking is a relationship. The ‘lifestyle’ is just an aspect of that relationship. You as a male must find a woman and win her heart, same as in the vanilla world. I understand that it is more difficult for male subs as there does seem to be far more male subs than Domme women. However, there are male subs that have found their Dommes, so if you have not then there is something wrong with your approach. Honestly, based on what you wrote on this thread I would bet your approach was way off.



yourplaytoy2use -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 9:25:53 AM)

Thank you all for replying to the post, let me reiterate it again, I am sorry i was out of line, and a bit jilted. I do like the way it was picked apart and scavanged, it was exilerating. I do see some of the comments, validity. Perhaps i never meant to speak for all of those mindless drones, lol.
Please except my apology.
I was quick to the pen, i know not all Dommes or subs are the same, I was feeling daunted and i reached out in a nasty way.

Again thank you,



Hillwilliam -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 9:37:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: yourplaytoy2use

Thank you all for replying to the post, let me reiterate it again, I am sorry i was out of line, and a bit jilted. I do like the way it was picked apart and scavanged, it was exilerating. I do see some of the comments, validity. Perhaps i never meant to speak for all of those mindless drones, lol.
Please except my apology.
I was quick to the pen, i know not all Dommes or subs are the same, I was feeling daunted and i reached out in a nasty way.

Again thank you,


You can be a Doer, a Follower or a whiner. It's your choice. I'm telling you though that Quality dominants truly cherish the submission of an Alpha.

It's like my analogy of an animal trainer. Is it more fulfilling to train Pomeranians or Tigers?



peppermint -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 9:58:03 AM)

I read your profile and your journal entries.  So, you have an hour or two of the day planned out.  She'll give you the look and you will be putty in her hands while she uses her strap on.  She will be strict and demanding. 

However, you have neglected the other 22+ hours in the day.  This is when she wants to relax and watch TV.  This is when she wants to read a book.  This is when you have friends over for a BBQ in the back yard.  This is when you go to a cousin's birthday party.  This is when you go out to a movie.  This is when you both do the grocery shopping.  This is when bills get paid. 

In other words, there is more to life than your kinky wishes.  There is the every day stuff.  There are the compatibility issues.  There is the getting together with someone who enjoys the same things you enjoy doing.  Instead of looking for kink you need to look for someone who enjoys being with you as much as you enjoy being with her, no matter if it's kinky stuff or the normal stuff we have to do every day. 

If all you are looking for is kink then it's going to be very difficult for you to find that live in position you seek.  If all you are looking for is kink then I can understand why you are not finding that position.  The Dommes are very busy spending time with submissives who are fun.  The Dommes are busy spending time with people they enjoy and who are fun.  The Dommes are busy spending time with people who have something in common with them. 

Submissive men who want their kinky itches scratched by any woman who says she's a Domme are a dime a dozen.  Submissive men who are a pleasure to be with and compatible with a Domme are precious and valuable and worth the time it takes to find that man. 



Fornica -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 10:22:02 AM)

I love this.
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I read your profile and your journal entries.  So, you have an hour or two of the day planned out.  She'll give you the look and you will be putty in her hands while she uses her strap on.  She will be strict and demanding. 

However, you have neglected the other 22+ hours in the day.  This is when she wants to relax and watch TV.  This is when she wants to read a book.  This is when you have friends over for a BBQ in the back yard.  This is when you go to a cousin's birthday party.  This is when you go out to a movie.  This is when you both do the grocery shopping.  This is when bills get paid. 

In other words, there is more to life than your kinky wishes.  There is the every day stuff.  There are the compatibility issues.  There is the getting together with someone who enjoys the same things you enjoy doing.  Instead of looking for kink you need to look for someone who enjoys being with you as much as you enjoy being with her, no matter if it's kinky stuff or the normal stuff we have to do every day. 

If all you are looking for is kink then it's going to be very difficult for you to find that live in position you seek.  If all you are looking for is kink then I can understand why you are not finding that position.  The Dommes are very busy spending time with submissives who are fun.  The Dommes are busy spending time with people they enjoy and who are fun.  The Dommes are busy spending time with people who have something in common with them. 

Submissive men who want their kinky itches scratched by any woman who says she's a Domme are a dime a dozen.  Submissive men who are a pleasure to be with and compatible with a Domme are precious and valuable and worth the time it takes to find that man. 




yourplaytoy2use -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 10:47:19 AM)

lol, my benefactor.... its cool it will work itself out., but thank you nonetheless.



Hillwilliam -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 10:58:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: yourplaytoy2use

lol, my benefactor.... its cool it will work itself out., but thank you nonetheless.


That's the spirit. Now button your fly, turn off the porn, sit up straight, take a deep breath and decide what you want in life.
If you want to play with those 19 year olds on the other side that make duckface and shoot the bird in their pics, have at it.
If you want an honest to God woman who knows what she wants, then you're going to have to talk to them like a human being and find out what it is that they want.
Then, it is up to you to decide if you wish to provide that.

Good luck and be well.



Ishtarr -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 12:59:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Lil heavy on the coffee this morning? Or maybe I just need more. [8D]


That wasn't morning for me...
Custody issues been keeping me up, so I needed to yell at somebody.
Seemed he deserved it most from anybody posting last night.



ResidentSadist -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 2:26:36 PM)

A prophecy?  



FrostedFlake -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 3:09:34 PM)

Popcorn? Popcorn! Where is the freaking POPCORN! Dang it, you Doms! Do I have to get it myself?



Fornica -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 3:21:38 PM)

Of course not, silly. That would be beneath a sub ;)
quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

Popcorn? Popcorn! Where is the freaking POPCORN! Dang it, you Doms! Do I have to get it myself?




NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 5:13:24 PM)

1. Truth is the world is changing, so many Mistresses, dommes, they are not fullfilling the rule.
What rule do you speak of? Is this "rule" just the way you want things? What about how they want things? Who made up this "rule" and why is this a universal rule that everyone needs to live by?

2. Take us subs and slaves into your homes, how else will we be trained.
Oh hell no. I'm not taking anyone into my home if I don't know him really well. I can train someone without him actually living with me. If I were to have someone move in with me, is this someone going to help me pay my rent and utilities? Or is this a free ride that you speak of?

3. Train us even if we are not yours forever, if not we will find the wrong way or not at all.
Umm, no. I only train someone if I do intend to keep him. I'm not going to train someone for someone else. I train him in how I want things done and have no clue how someone else wants him to do things.

4. So many of us are left out and about not learning not enduring.
Well, there are plenty, I repeat plenty, of books out there that you can read to get a start on learning things. That's how I started and it worked just fine and dandy for me. I'm sure many others started out that way too.

5. You mark my words what is plentyful now will one day not be so. Keep making us pay to find our way and youll regret it later.
Oh, okay. Is this just another bitch-about-proDommes & tribute Dommes thread? You know what, I'm neither, but if you're not into that just.....pass them by and quit bitching. It's unattractive in just about anyone.

6. Many of us are just starting to experience what you want us to, and you put all these dumb restrictions.
Ahem. When I find the right submissive, I will make absolutely sure that he experiences what I want him to. When I do, any "dumb restrictions" that I choose to put upon him is of no, I repeat NO, consequence to you.

7. We want to serve it is just you dont want to train us. Get yourselves stable and take us in so we can grow to give what you all need.
Umm, NO. That's not all it is. Plus, what is this definition of "stable" that you are referring to? Are we supposed to be stable lenough to support your ass when we take you into our homes, or what? I read your profile and there are approximately fourteen out of fifty-one of your interests that are not kinky. It seems that you are kink-centric and a lot of Dommes want someone who's not just about kink and nothing else. They don't like being a McDommes' kink delivery service. This giving us what all we need, is this really supposed to be what YOU want us to need? Or are you meaning you will give us what all WE need? I don't mind the kinky stuff, I really don't, but we can't be doing that ALL the time you know. There is housework to be done, toenails to be painted, a car to wash..... I'm sure you're getting the idea.....

8. I may be just a bit wrong but for as long as i have been looking i should be owned by now. Take out your strapons and open your closets, we need you.
sub/slave.
A "bit" wrong? Listen up. The problem is, you don't know what the different is between a bottom and a submissive.
Bottom = yourself
and
Submissive = what most Dommes are looking for.

See, the deal is, if you don't get your shit together and figure out what that difference is, you're going to be looking for a really long LONG time. You don't want a Domme, you're looking for a service Top. There's nothing wrong with being a service Top if that's what someone wants to be, but why don't you cut out the B.S. and say what you really mean?


quote:

ORIGINAL: anynameshoulddo
Since most male subs are weak,gay,sissies and any other name you can think of to devalue a sub

Excuse me? Can anyone say judgmental bigot? WTF is your problem? Evidently the vanillas don't have the corner on judgmental bigotry.

Both the OP and anyname sound like reincarnations of Kevin. Anyway, have a nice day.

NBMG



CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 6:32:33 PM)

I wish to respond to this one thought at a time.
quote:

So many of us are left out and about not learning not enduring. You mark my words what is plentyful now will one day not be so.

You have been here a long time and things aren't working out as you had hoped. Searching takes time and patience, and most of us burn out many times in the process. Over the past eight years I have easily had half a dozen profiles, as I deleted them one after the next each time I decided I'd had enough and would stop looking. Getting frustrated and a bit angry is okay. Sometimes we need to back away from the computer for a while...but if getting what you need is important to you, like me you will come back and begin your search again. (It's worth it. Finding my slave was worth all the shiite.)

quote:

Keep making us pay to find our way and youll regret it later.

Ah. This speaks volumes. You have been exploring BDSM by turning to women who are not like me; I am not a financial Domme and am not an online roleplay/cybering entertainer. Sweat equity within a 24/7 D/s relationship is what I require. To screen out guys who were incompatible I eliminated men who screamed for training and approached me kink or dick/ass first. I want to be treated as a person...and have a chance to get to know the human being I'd might want to collar and grow old with. It had nothing to do with "making him pay".

quote:

Many of us are just starting to experience what you want us to, and you put all these dumb restrictions. We want to serve it is just you dont want to train us.

Depends on who you are seeking out, and if you see these relationships as symbiotic or parasitic. I see new men trying to get experience, get "trained"...with anyone who offers. If Dommes or Tops do not offer, the guys try to force the issue. When Dommes won't give them a free topping session they try to force fem subs to top them. When we say no about online or r/t sessions, many guys stoop to offering cash and/or expensive holidays or other treats.

"...what YOU want us to" LOL, as if men are not the ones chasing after us to get their kinky needs met.

By the way, when you are cybering with someone...the restrictions are part of playtime, to make you feel like you have given up some control. If you don't enjoy this with them, then don't do it. My boy and I are doing this in real time. When he serves me, he is giving me what I want from him, what I need from him. You'd might have to ask him if he considers any restrictions I have imposed are "dumb"...he enjoys feeling controlled by me in his daily life so I doubt he will say I am unreasonable.

I am curious about what you consider training, as my idea of training is likely to be quite different. My boy learning to trust my judgment, to do what pleases me in the exact way I like it, my being able to count on him to follow me...this the most important part of "training". (Okay, seducing him into enjoying--and even craving--what I want to do to him kink wise might have something to do with it too.) Some people are into rituals and protocols; I'm not. If you want to learn about high protocol then get some non-porn, non-fantasy BDSM books and start reading; several people in the message boards have made a list of books they'd recommend. It is within your grasp to learn skills that will be valuable to your future Owner, but many guys don't think about them at first because their idea of training is kinky playtime. Learn to change the oil in cars; learn to cook several very good meals; learn to make the presentation of the food look beautiful; learn to give good pedicures, non-erotic (and erotic) massages; get a book that teaches you how to take care of leather and silicone, etc. toys.

Studying vanilla books on good manners, gentlemanly behavior, and gradually adopting them so they become second nature would be a good thing.

With mosts of us, in my opinion, training is not a one size fits all thing. Any "training" I do with my boy is very specific to ME and to US. I want him to be serving me the way I like and not in some pre-programmed way he thinks all generic Dommes wish to be served; to serve me he has to listen to me and this was hard for him at first because he had a firm belief...of how a proper sub should behave. Part of my enjoyment with my boy...has been that...he has lots of "little virginities" for me to take.

quote:

Get yourselves stable and take us in so we can grow to give what you all need.

You seem to be looking for a live in situation where you can become something of a stay at home wife. These are hard economic times and many women have kids or elderly parents who need their support and cannot afford to have another financial dependent. It is a wonderful dream that few of us could pull off. I'm one that cannot; am poor and will always be poor and my boy has to bite the bullet about that and just deal with it.

Emotionally, whether someone would believe I am stable is a judgment call they will have to make. Some of us are survivors, and unfortunately this means that I have scars that are a part of life and I am stuck living with them. Even after all these years I get panic attacks and no amount of counseling or meds can wipe these out of my life. My boy knows how he can help...I have trained him in this. [;)] My face in his chest while he rubs my head is a blessing, and the blankets and hot drink and cuddling help me to get over it sooner. He is a survivor too and I don't expect him to be perfect, and I take care of him when he needs this from me. To others...I might have been seen as a broken person because I have emotional scars, someone who needs to get her life in order, get cured, yada yada. Personally, I could not deal with someone who was so innocent of the ways of the world...that they thought everything that's broken can be fixed up just as good as new.

Another point to make... Sometimes two people are stronger together than they are separately on their own. Power exchange is real for me/us. It gives me real energy that alters all areas of my life. Having had chemo four different times in my life robbed me of a lot of my energy, and...having a sub has always energized me. Our relationship has had an equal but opposite effect to my boy's life...he is more relaxed and at peace. He sleeps better at night. We balance each other out.

Sorry to hear that your experiences have been disappointing. I'm glad my boy didn't give up and walk away from the lifestyle, as he almost did, but stayed here long enough to find me. As far as worrying about all submissive males disappearing to teach us Dommes a lesson for being so hard to get along with and too picky...nah.

Take time to decide which kind of "bed" is right for you...before the "you've made your bed and have to lie in it" comes into play.



CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: the new submissive/slave (1/13/2012 6:59:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
Face it, if you're an expert animal trainer which of the following gives more satisfaction?

A pomeranian that does your bidding?


Or a Tiger?


***still fanning herself...recovering from teh hawt flash***



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