RE: Welcome to Collar Me

RE: Welcome to Collar Me (Full Version)

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RedMagic1 -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/18/2012 1:18:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl I have so many people on hide now, its ridiculous. What's that? I can't see you!

tazzygirl -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/18/2012 1:22:28 PM)
~sighs and adds another

RedMagic1 -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/18/2012 1:26:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl ~sighs and adds another I was kidding, ya goof! Nerves around here must be frayed to hell.

LaTigresse -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/18/2012 2:16:42 PM)
Apparently so. Ridiculously so. If it was just on here I would say that it's all due to internet overload but I've also seen it in actual REAL, non sock, non internet, non collarme drama llamas. It must be something weird in the planetary alignments or some such shit.

LadyPact -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/18/2012 2:52:14 PM)
I appreciate the link and the post from the thread. I also appreciate that you specifically mention that you think I'm a decent person. (The feeling's mutual, by the way.) I did make every attempt to explain that this thread was very specifically about the Introduction section. The other threads that have been linked in this thread here were never listed in that area. What changed? The mind set that Introductions has to be about the types of interests that are more suited to Casual Banter.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/18/2012 5:06:53 PM)
Fr- I read as many pages as I could stand. I swear I did. Then I started banging my head on my desk and when there was to much blood to see what I was reading anymore I stoped and went back to the OP. I used to post in the intros, I don't anymore. I stoped because I couldn't stand to watch people be mean anymore. I stoped because I got to many msgs on the other side thanking me for not being nasty. I stoped because I found myself on the other side telling people that if they weren't tough enough to stand up to a load of bs that it was best they avoid the forums here. It is that last one that bothers me the most. I used to tell people to come to the forums all the time, I don't anymore and it bothers me a lot. I don't want to watch anymore pretend to be something they aren't. I don't want to watch anyone force themself to be polite if they don't want to be. But I don't want to see the forums here die(internet death isn't pretty to watch) because new people are afraid to stick around and talk. I think the intros are for a happy hello, and maybe pointing someone at a forum that might help them. Beyond that (IMO) it does little more than up your post count. So people should be nice or avoid it. -If the above upsets anyone it was not my intent. Many just have the mommy domme in me wanting to spanks some people and put some others in corners oh and for some reason I can not explain reading this thread(and a few others lately) has this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_GxXRbSFDg stuck in my head.

amaidiamond -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/18/2012 5:16:44 PM)
resolves to take some time out to go be nice in the intros thread and just ignore the silly and innapropriate posts

JanahX -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/18/2012 5:30:59 PM)
Im divided on the intro threads. Some seem to just be socks INVITING obnoxious responses. You can just tell. Or at least I can. As far as Im concerned, they deserve to get tomatoes thrown at them. Or back in the day .. get gonged on the gong show. They never stick around anyways. The same people are here day in and day out. I havent seen a bunch of dumb asses stay for the long haul. The people that seem to want to introduce themselves normally I always just say a simple welcome. The ones who go off on some dealio where they are detailing how big their cock is or how they are looking for a pussy to pound into hamburger meat they deserve whatever they get. Its fucking obnoxious = and this isnt a kindergarten class.

littlewonder -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/18/2012 5:51:03 PM)
I personally have no problem with being realistic to newbies in the intro section. Imo it helps them to figure out really quickly that bdsm is not somehow magical or special or easier or a good place to get a quick fuck. Imo if they aren't given that quick reality check then the next post you get from them is "oh no! Everyone is a fake" or "what happened to people into bdsm being non-judgmental??" like just because we're all into bdsm we never judge a person because somehow we're different when in reality we're like every other human on the planet. I personally would rather someone smack some sense in them than to wait until down the road after they're still thinking bdsm is all fluffy, feely touchy and sprinkled with magic powder and how dare someone into bdsm hurt me like this. I mean...dom/mes/subs/whatever are not supposed to be mean, hurtful, deceitful, etc...[8\|] Sorry but I'm all for reality checks before they get their wittle feelings hurt and the rest of the forums have to hear about how they got hurt 2 weeks later in every single forum topic. I'd rather they learn quickly and decide to stay or leave. But I also try to stay out of the newbies section because I'd rather not get a mod letter lol.

DesFIP -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/18/2012 5:58:43 PM)
I understand that this isn't a church group. However, if you went to your local coffee shop and introduced yourself by unzipping your pants and waggling your willie in some stranger's face, she won't like it. Try to pick up a girl in Starbucks by talking about what you want to do to her and you won't get a good reaction. People here are no different than anywhere else, we want to be thought of as people not as a thing to fulfill some stranger's fantasy. I find it sort of funny that LadyP started this because she's been clear for years in Ask a Mistress that she doesn't like being considered a fetish delivery system. Well, neither do the rest of us, whether pitching or catching.

Fornica -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/18/2012 6:21:57 PM)
Totally what DesFIP said. I realize I'm probably the worst (or in the top 2) offender in there, in terms of bitchslapping cock wavers..but like I said a few posts back..I'm ok with that. I'm nice, too. For realz.

GotSteel -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/18/2012 8:00:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I understand that this isn't a church group. However, if you went to your local coffee shop and introduced yourself by unzipping your pants and waggling your willie in some stranger's face, she won't like it. Try to pick up a girl in Starbucks by talking about what you want to do to her and you won't get a good reaction. I dislike the cock shot at least as much as anybody else but that doesn't somehow make this site equivalent to a Starbucks. Discussion topics and attire that would get one kicked out of a Starbucks are par for the course here. quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP People here are no different than anywhere else, we want to be thought of as people not as a thing to fulfill some stranger's fantasy. Certainly it's not unreasonable to explain that being kinky isn't going to make the average woman any more likely to enjoy being treated that way. However, that can be done with or without epic assholery. Some of us are advocating for the without position.

LadyPact -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/18/2012 8:46:48 PM)
This is probably the last entry on this one. I do still appreciate all of the replies. I went back to the two week span of Introductions that I looked at that inspired this post. One of the threads was gone entirely. One where the comment was "now that the thread has been trimmed, it isn't as much fun anymore". A couple of grammar and punctuation lessons. One guy who was told he couldn't bump his own Introduction thread. A comment about how this isn't group therapy. A number of comments telling people that trying to find someone for play should be done on Craigslist. Some complaints about secondary pictures. A few mentions of what was wrong with the profile of the thread poster, even though they didn't ask for a profile critique. Over a dozen comments about how "topics" are discussed here (which isn't wasn't specified at all). Last but not least, plenty of asking about movies, ice cream, etc when folks expressed either what they were looking for or what kinks interested them. None of these were from 'dick wavers'. I skipped any intro thread that was crude for language in any way.

hausboy -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/18/2012 9:04:32 PM)
Hi LadyPact I'm not trying to be argumentative here, but I just bopped over to introductions, and actually read a bunch of....well....introductions...with folks being, for the most part, welcoming. One from Maui, two from Texas....Frosted Flake's intro....a bunch of others that definitely did not seem snarky or mean-spirited. Just as you found negative examples...I found plenty of positive examples without having to search far and long.

Fornica -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/19/2012 5:19:49 AM)
LadyPact, if you're going to call me out (albeit passive aggressively), please quote me correctly and in context. What I said was that the thread didn't MAKE SENSE after being trimmed. ( http://www.collarchat.com/m_3988962/mpage_1/key_trimmed/tm.htm#3989816 ) And the first part of the intro that dude made was the only part left, the rest of his stuff was deleted. So now it looks completely different than it did. I've tried to be respectful to you in this thread, but let's keep it real, eh? You have your style, I have mine. I get that. Your original post is full of "threats" and posterizing, and is ironic at best. When you have the authority to tell me to shut the fuck up, lemme know. Until then, I'm not going to have a pissing contest with you, the world is big enough for all different types. Peace.

Fornica -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/19/2012 5:22:35 AM)
If you look for anything hard enough, you'll find it. quote: ORIGINAL: hausboy Hi LadyPact I'm not trying to be argumentative here, but I just bopped over to introductions, and actually read a bunch of....well....introductions...with folks being, for the most part, welcoming. One from Maui, two from Texas....Frosted Flake's intro....a bunch of others that definitely did not seem snarky or mean-spirited. Just as you found negative examples...I found plenty of positive examples without having to search far and long.

LadyPact -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/19/2012 6:16:41 AM)
Hello huasboy, I had thought I sent you a message on that matter. It must have slipped My mind. This is just a thought, but is it possible that this thread helped to make that improvement? Flip through a few pages. See if there aren't comments about attempting to be nicer. Fornica, I apologize for not getting the quote correct. I was attempting to remember a rather long list. As for the rest, you've done your fair share of complaining here, too. Sometimes two or three posts in a row to be snotty. It's actually not Me who is trying to tell you to shut up. What I'm trying to say is that for Introductions, if both ways are acceptable, stop trying for it to be only your way. Have you thought that you could be proactive in giving those new folks a suggestion on some of the Polls and Random Snippets talks or one of the Games? Create a new thing that you think might put folks at ease and have the opportunity to end up feeling more welcome in the process. Call one "that dang vanilla ice cream cone next to My name". (Half of the people say that anyway.) If you are going to ask Me to respect you, then you have to do that in return. I'm a leather person and that means I have a great appreciation for what the people have done to provide greater opportunity and education. It's a part of the culture and I'd like other people to have access to that culture, too. Goodnight.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/19/2012 6:27:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Fornica When you have the authority to tell me to shut the fuck up, lemme know. Do you even have the authority to shut yourself up? Just by looking at your numbers and your posts on this page of this thread, I already know you are averaging 31 posts per day, and a nontrivial percentage of those posts are the "bitchslapping of cockwavers." That's a lot of online bitchslapping. You have a pretty heavy cyber ballbusting fetish, from what little I can see.

Fornica -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/19/2012 6:52:29 AM)
Gasp. Are you judging my fetish?! clutches pearls quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: Fornica When you have the authority to tell me to shut the fuck up, lemme know. Do you even have the authority to shut yourself up? Just by looking at your numbers and your posts on this page of this thread, I already know you are averaging 31 posts per day, and a nontrivial percentage of those posts are the "bitchslapping of cockwavers." That's a lot of online bitchslapping. You have a pretty heavy cyber ballbusting fetish, from what little I can see.

OsideGirl -> RE: Welcome to Collar Me (1/19/2012 7:20:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I personally have no problem with being realistic to newbies in the intro section. Imo it helps them to figure out really quickly that bdsm is not somehow magical or special or easier or a good place to get a quick fuck. Imo if they aren't given that quick reality check then the next post you get from them is "oh no! Everyone is a fake" or "what happened to people into bdsm being non-judgmental??" like just because we're all into bdsm we never judge a person because somehow we're different when in reality we're like every other human on the planet. I personally would rather someone smack some sense in them than to wait until down the road after they're still thinking bdsm is all fluffy, feely touchy and sprinkled with magic powder and how dare someone into bdsm hurt me like this. I mean...dom/mes/subs/whatever are not supposed to be mean, hurtful, deceitful, etc...[8\|] Sorry but I'm all for reality checks before they get their wittle feelings hurt and the rest of the forums have to hear about how they got hurt 2 weeks later in every single forum topic. I'd rather they learn quickly and decide to stay or leave. But I also try to stay out of the newbies section because I'd rather not get a mod letter lol. This is exactly my view. Some people need the verbal slap upside the head to start understanding that the BDSM community is still a community and the rules of society should still apply.

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