RE: thanks for the dance.

RE: thanks for the dance. (Full Version)

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seababy -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 9:22:49 PM)
I hadn' t read any personal attack stuff. I came in late to all this after a 2 year break from CM, so it was way too confusing to sort out except it had something to do with sock puppets. I did get a feel though that in that time the feel of CM had changed I was disappointed that the place had the same feel as when you walk into a room after two people have had a bad fight. I am sorry to hear that people I respect have suffered and felt unsupported if I had known I would have spoken up. Its bloody horrible that it happened. Please don't think the entire CM folks were standing by eating popcorn and amusing themselves as reputations were slandered and people deeply hurt. I have no idea if Arpigs behaviour is the result of MPD or malicious machiavellian scheming. Either way it needs treatment. Sea

angelikaJ -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 9:26:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact (Oh, and it sickens Me that we all fell for the 'murdered' friend. I might fucking puke!!!!) At this time, I have hate in My heart. Except a young woman was murdered on a Canadian college campus and her body was set on fire. That part at least was sadly true. I looked it up at the time.

MasterG2kTR -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 9:27:49 PM)
While I acknowledge the existence of sockpuppets, this just goes beyond words for me. I enjoyed many of the posts from the real Arpig. Actually a few from the puppets too. I guess personally I can only sum it up like this.... [sm=jaw.gif] [sm=jaw.gif] [sm=jaw.gif] [sm=jaw.gif] [sm=jaw.gif] and a huge thank you to VAA for showing all the people here your depth of caring, compassion, and understanding for both the site and it's members.

OttersSwim -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 9:28:00 PM)
I have one more thing to say about all this and then I am going to bed. I got really really upset about this when it first came out in the socks topic and the socks were rotating in and out faster than we could possibly keep up with them. I changed my picture and signature for a time to a very strident and angry message about socks. My Lady actually spoke to me about it because she did not want that to be all that people saw of me. I was upset because I knew that Collarme.com had forever irrevocably been changed for me - and for the worse. This person sewed seeds of malice and distrust - ill or not, damage and harm was done. I thought about it a lot and eventually decided that I wanted to stay...even with the sock and game playing issues still unresolved. I like this site and some of the people on it. I changed my picture back and made my signature more positive. I have been posting a lot less, and now I find that I now am very skeptical of posters where I was not before - probably the only actual net positive change to come of all this. Thanks to the Mods for running this deception to ground and sharing with the community the outcome, and giving us a chance to process it together.

Hillwilliam -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 9:31:51 PM)
Sleep well otters and I hope you and the others find peace.

Icarys -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 9:35:11 PM)
LMAOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooffffffffffffffffffffffff :)

FrostedFlake -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 9:39:50 PM)
@ OtterSwim. I have been wondering if I should apologize to you about that. I could see that it really bothered you. But I could not think what I should say.

windchymes -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 9:42:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather Heather Anne Alles Menzies Heather Menzies played Louisa in The Sound of Music. She was born in Toronto, though.......in 1949. I have so many thoughts running through my head right now, I can't begin to organize them all to write something coherent here before the thread gets locked in the morning. So I'm going to ramble. Yes, tazzy, some of us did notice how far-fetched the stories were, how bigger than life the characters were. But proof was always demanded, and proof none of us had. How could we? But sometimes you just see the writing on the wall. I'm afraid I also feel that we're supposed to be all sorry and sympathetic, and to a small degree, I am. But there were a lot of cold, calculated attacks and manipulations going on with all the personalities tripping around the boards together, calling people doughnut holes and idiots, taking one statement or even one word out of context and beating it into the ground to prove a point, even if there really wasn't a point. The point was just being right. Picking fights, calling people dried up and bitter, only to spew nothing but bitterness herself. How many people were called "hypocrite"....by a hypocrite? They could do no wrong, simply because they were cute, young, outspoken lesbians. Razzle-dazzle 'em. A lot of people were hurt, and a lot of good people stopped coming on the boards. Well, whatever, I need to go to bed. I thank the mods and Lady Pact for finally getting to the bottom of this, and for having the cojones to stand up and say 'enough already'. Actually, I said that on a thread a couple months back, when Arpig as himself was stirring up some shit, 'enough already'. G'nite all. Good to see you again.

DesFIP -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 9:46:43 PM)
I hope Arpig gets some help because he needs it. But whether he gets well or not, I'm not going to want to interact with him again. All of the alter egos were hurtful personas, which says to me that he himself enjoyed dishing out this much pain to others. I got a lot less attacked then some others here did, but it was more than I wanted to deal with. I'm grateful to the mods for deactivating all those accounts.

hausboy -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 9:47:39 PM)
You can add me to the list of people who read this thread...and had to pick my jaw up off the floor. My hats off to the mods for all of their work in ensuring that the matter was investigated and hopefully resolved. I'm left with a true feeling of sadness--sad that some of the forum's regular posters like Otter and LadyPact (and many others) had to endure such hostility...and now have to pick up the pieces of the aftermath. Sad that Bob continues to suffer a terrible and debilitating mental illness. I had a few email exchanges with the alter-egos and confess that what frightens me the most was how much I identified with some of them. There was a thread awhile back where Arpig posted very openly about his struggle with multiple personalities, and described some of what he experiences on a frequent basis. It was a very difficult thread to read, but I found it moving, nevertheless. I think that perhaps if I had been on the receiving end of some of the more vicious personal attacks, I might be a lot less empathetic. I'm thinking back ....I had a leatherdyke friend who suffered from the same disorder. On any given day, I could encounter a different "person," and while I never really got to know exactly, 100% who my friend really was (she went by the name "Starr"most of the time), at least we were face to face, so I knew the person existed, in the physical sense. Online...I never really know if anyone I chat with is real until I meet them in person, and I was just beginning to get comfortable with many people here. Now I'm feeling a bit less trusting, but I'm sure that pales in comparison to what some other posters feel. I guess for me, the bottom line is that we have people on the site who suffer from serious mental disorders--and I try my best to have as much compassion as I can muster, but respect the anger and betrayal that others have about it. Such is the risk of a strictly virtual forum, and I thank those who were instrumental in identifying what was going on, and for making the rest of us aware of what had happened. wow. just wow.

VideoAdminAlpha -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 9:48:26 PM)
I do a lot more work behind the scenes than what is seen, and don't intend to stop doing that part of my job. I am far from infallible but hope to do my best should the occasion call for it( which I hope it doesnt...)

windchymes -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 9:51:06 PM)
I also wonder how many more people that we interact with on the boards are going to be figments of someone's imagination instead of "real" people....both now and in the future. That bothers me. Instead of relaxing and having a good time in here, I'm suspicious of everyone.

Hillwilliam -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 9:54:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes I also wonder how many more people that we interact with on the boards are going to be figments of someone's imagination instead of "real" people....both now and in the future. That bothers me. Instead of relaxing and having a good time in here, I'm suspicious of everyone. Ive been suspicious of about anyone online for years until I actually meet or at least talk to them. Maybe that's why I was affected less by this fiasco than some others. I don't trust much. Generally, to be hurt, you have to trust first.

Tanijaana -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 10:03:10 PM)
Interesting how this is going on here, but there is zero mention of it anywhere in any of their profiles on FL...

tazzygirl -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 10:03:31 PM)
Its not that we trusted the house.. its that we trusted others who trusted the house. And, dammit, that part fucking hurts. And, Im gonna say this right out. Many owe Deviantly an apology. That person got shit from almost everyone. Turns out she was right. DeviantlyD, for my part, if I said anything to hurt you over all this, I am sorry.

Daddysredhead -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 10:04:47 PM)
Hausboy, I remember the thread you were talking about. Arpig, as himself, had called me some nasty names because a few of us were talking about things we did at the last Calibirthday, and he was tired of reading it. He later apologized and said he had not been taking his meds properly and that things were getting worse for him. I have known for years that he had MPD/DID because he has never hidden it, and talked about it often on the boards. I have never been a fan of any of the "girl-group" that posted. I never got involved in the threads where those screen names were posting all over the place because I did not like them. I thought they were mostly mean and attention-seeking, and I was kind of surprised that many people seemed to like them so much... but to each their own. It's sad that a lot of people got hurt by them/him. Now more than ever, I'm grateful that I steered clear of that mess.

Daddysredhead -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 10:10:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes I also wonder how many more people that we interact with on the boards are going to be figments of someone's imagination instead of "real" people....both now and in the future. That bothers me. Instead of relaxing and having a good time in here, I'm suspicious of everyone. I tend to post where my friends are, in the silly sections of the boards. I have met several dozen of those folks in real time and hope to meet many more. I spend more time with them in person or on the phone than the computer. I guess it will take time for people to get over what seems like is a very big hurt.

hausboy -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 10:14:47 PM)
Hi DRH what's funny (funny, as odd/curious) is that some of the other personality/sock puppets that apparently are also his....some I actually liked...and some I really disliked because I felt like they were so artificial and full of it..... I suppose in truth--they were all artificial in the literal sense of the word, and were all essentially, "full of it." My sincere hope is that some good comes of this-- that folks realize that "online" is just that, and we all must exercise a certain healthy amount of caution and skepticism until we truly get to know one another. I hope that folks realize just how hard it is to moderate an open and free forum, and appreciate the work that the mods do. I truly hope that we can all take a step back--and start tabula rosa. If there are amends to be made....make them and move on. For those who were dragged through mud, I hope that they will return. This was absolutely eye opening.

LadyPact -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 10:24:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: seababy I hadn' t read any personal attack stuff. I came in late to all this after a 2 year break from CM, so it was way too confusing to sort out except it had something to do with sock puppets. I did get a feel though that in that time the feel of CM had changed I was disappointed that the place had the same feel as when you walk into a room after two people have had a bad fi Sea No, you haven't. Really????? Well, that's great. You don't have to deal with what has happened here. I'm glad for you. Really, I am. At the same time, that is not My experience. I have walked into much groups and events that, because of this, My character has been called into question. I have lost friends who have been a part of My life for years, who, regrettably believed bullshit, rather than a real person. And here I am left. I have been called publicly, that I am a liar, a cunt, a worthless piece of trash. A fucking piece of scum who has no worth to anyone anywhere. I'm supposed to be ok with this??? I'm just litter on the highway that some fucker can throw into the trash because his "illness" gives him the right????? No. I'm sorry. No fucking more. I won't sit on the sidelines anymore. I am sick of this fucker being allowed to abuse the members of this forum. At some point, it's time to stop. My name is Lady Pact. I am pleased to meet you and from here, we shall move forward. Move on with Me or don't. The choice is yours.

Awareness -> RE: thanks for the dance. (1/13/2012 10:27:48 PM)
It'd be hard to deny this does seem like some kind of vindication, but frankly, there's been too much strife, dissent and plain old-fashioned non-consensual pain for anyone to really enjoy any kind of kudos over this finally coming out. I'm not sure there's much value to be added by any commentary I might have to make but it does strike me that some people have some deep soul-searching to do. It should be a reminder to us all that much of our behaviour here is driven by relationships, not fact, morality or ethics. What particularly incensed me was the degree to which I could see dissent being sown. Inasmuch as some hard-asses like to claim it's mere pixels on a screen, it's more complex than that. Everything which occurs here is a form of interaction and interaction begets belief. Belief that someone exists, belief that they are who they say they are. There's a reason for that. The human race is a sucker for stories. Even the story being told now, the picture of people trapped inside a mind, a dream or another world is incredibly seductive. Humanity has an implicit love for narrative. However we really cannot know which narrative is the closest approximation to reality. At best, the story being presented is the true one. A splintered mind, multiple personalities acting in good faith without knowledge of their own true nature. At worst, we have a sick individual acting out the components of his rage with multiple ID's. And what disturbs me is the degree to which the tools of deception were used to engender compassion. The murdered 'friend' in Canada. AneNoz's slave who supposedly had terminal cancer. And who knows what other stories told to manipulate and deceive. On the balance of probabilities, I think I have to come down on the side of the sceptics. All of those personalities picked a target. They weren't just people looking for discussion, they were grievances looking for a proxy. The Goreans, dominant men, anyone who believed they weren't real. On and on it goes, with a fixation in particular upon the people Bob felt threatened by. I think the narrative is seductive but like everything else, it's a lie. A fiction. Another piece of deception designed to play upon the sympathies of everyone here and manipulate. Why? So the foolish will say things like "Please don't go!". One last point. Does anyone have any semblance of proof that ArPig/Bob himself is even remotely real? That the narrative we have about him isn't just another fiction? It's something worth considering. And yes, DeviantlyD was right all along. Although, of course, I have no way of knowing if she's real either. An interesting conundrum.

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