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BitaTruble -> RE: BDSM out of necessity? (1/15/2012 11:33:40 AM)
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ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383
What is the percentage of people (on this site in particular) are into bdsm out of necessity?
100%
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What I mean by that, is I wonder how many people on here have discovered that the ONLY way to be with someone is through d/s?
Oh, well then if they are past the 'frenzy' stage in their fascination with an alternative lifestyle (say 5+ years or so) then 100%. Before that, it's a crap shoot.
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We have started to reach out into our local community here, and even communities that are a drive for us to get to. And we are shocked at what we are finding. Most women we have come across look the same. Nearly ALL of them are moderately to severely overweight, and honestly have looked like they have stopped caring. Hair that isn't styled or attempted to be styled....no makeup....and just looked like they rolled out of bed.
Eek. Dude, stay away from war zones. You should see what those bitches look like on an average day.
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The men are no better, believe me. I've never seen so many men who don't take care of themselves, and don't do ANYTHING to make themselves presentable. Yet, they call themselves doms.
Sorry to hear about that and I hope you find the dom of your dreams one day.
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So, I know it sounds mean, but is bdsm (and especially in the community) mostly for people who CAN'T find someone on their own, and they use the d/s construct just to get attention that they couldn't almost PAY for in the vanilla world?
I don't know how long you've been involved in relationships or how good you are at them but BDSM isn't a ticket to finding someone. You still have to do that 'on your own'. As for 'paying' out in the vanilla world, hon, there is a price for everything. Even the beautiful have to pay.. they just trade a different commodity for services rendered. Your bank balance (to use analogy) is the limited time you have on this ball of dirt before you start eating worms. How you choose to spend your account balance is up to you. Some choose to spend it at the gym, others choose to spend it at the library. Either way, it's costing you some of that precious balance. What sucks, of course, is that you don't know, exactly, what your account balance is so you have to take care and only spend on the things which are most important to you.
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I know that looks aren't everything, and I am no super model myself.
Agreed.
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Hell, I could even stand to lose a few pounds as well. BUT, I at least put forth an EFFORT to make myself look as desirable as possible. When I'm looking for a sub/slave, I am FIRST going to be drawn to their appearance. Is that shallow? I don't care. It's NATURE!!
No, it's preference. If it was nature, it would not be a choice, it would just be. You make a choice.
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I'm sick of people saying that looks don't matter. Appearances don't matter. That's horsecrap!!
Why does that make you sick? That just seems like such an odd statement to me.
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You don't go to a job interview looking like cat puke, so what gives?
Well, I don't ever think I look like cat puke but certainly I wouldn't go to a job interview without trying to put my best foot forward. This isn't about work though, it's about play. A munch is not a job interview, it's a social activity and that's horse of a different color. (That is NOT a beastiality reference so get yer mind out of the street and back in the gutter where it belongs.)
Cat puke play (Felinese Roman Showeresques) is a small but growing subsection of BDSM. (Pft.. and people say I have no sense of humor!)
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So, I'm FIGHTING having the feeling that bdsm and the lifestyle are MOSTLY relegated to really old, really fat, and really unattractive people who couldn't get their dog to play with them otherwise.
You are attributing too much thought and intellect to dogs. They'll play with anyone.. probably even you.
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Am I the only one frustrated out there?
No, the world is filled with frustrated people.
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There.
I feel lots better now.
:)
Derek
Really? You feel lots better because you came onto the web and vented out your preferences to a bunch of complete strangers who happen to share a single interest?
I suppose that's one way to deal with frustration. There are other options like hitting the gym, have a lollipop, reading a good book, taking a warm bath but to each their own.
Seems kind of weird and, personally, if I did that, I would probably not feel better. In fact, in so doing, I would probably feel worse.
Consider this, if you will: Many of the people who become involved with BDSM are pleasure seekers, hedonists and look to those things which feed their senses and sensibilities in order to maximize that pleasure. Eating wonderful foods is fun! It is an enjoyment and brings delight to your taste buds giving you a satisfaction like few other things can. There is a price for that and it is one that many are willing to pay for the hedonistic delight it brings them.
Exercise.. not so much fun. There is not so much pleasure in doing crunches till your stomach hurts, running until your knees give out or lifting weights until you are so sweaty you might actually drop the bar.
Eating. Fun.
Exercise. Not fun.
Hedonists seek fun. (Sometimes in the most painful of ways.)
There is a price for fun.. sometimes that price is being fat, sometimes that price loses you a job or a family.
Each of us determines how much what we want is worth and then we pay the price or not.
I have a comment for the wife since she has, now, posted to this thread.
I 'get' that when you are sitting around the house you don't worry so much about dressing up and you said something about posting and sitting there in your sweats.
I have a question for you. Why do you get yourself all dolled up for strangers but for your man you sit around in sweats?
That seems rather backwards to me. Why do strangers get a portion of your bank balance of limited time in getting ready, showering, make-up and so on, but your husband doesn't? Don't you want to impress him more than anyone else?
I'm just the nosy sort and, of course, there is no obligation to answer my question at all.
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