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SilverBoat -> RE: BDSM out of necessity? (1/15/2012 9:57:35 AM)
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@OP --- First off, I'm a big guy, currently hauling around about 20% of spare tire, and it's been on and off a couple of times. Forty years ago, I was playing national-level soccer, bagged that to get a real job, thirty years ago racing cars, quit that to go back to school, twenty years ago medaled racing (master's 35+) bicycles, had to (ironically) quit that for health reasons, and have been racing sailboats ever since. Yeah, the extra ballast makes a difference in those sports, and maybe age-n-metabolism, and yeah, drinking a brew or two, but the thing I eventually recognized about Myself was the competition. I like competing (and I like winning), and physical fitness went along with how seriously I wanted and prepared to compete.
Compared to, say, darts or golf, baseball or football, etc, the sports I've pursued didn't demand a genetically-determined dexterity or physique, and are all sports that demand both mental and physical endurance, which has some parallels to neurochemical (endorphins) and social (dominance) aspects of scene play. And like those sports, the mental and physical condition into which participants work themselves for scene-play, beyond their inherited whatever, is a result of how their perceptions, actions, expectations, etc within that context. If people really want that chisel-chin muscle-bound Dom or double-dee yoga-gumby subbe enough to put in the effort to look and act attractive in that way, then they'll put in the effort to achieve it. Otherwise, whether they admit so to themselves or not, or lambast you for not addressing such matters with sufficiently indirect politically-correct obliquities (and there might be no sufficiency of that for some), they're just not that into that sort of thing enough to put in that much sustained effort.
Sure, there are effects from the commercial elements adjunct to the 'lifestyle', just as with broader vanilla world. With so many runway models looking anorexic in the industry's effort to sell sex via a twisted sophisticated-adolescent psychological schemes, the current perceptions of 'elegance' pervade even the tolerance and acceptance of this community. As indication of that, Ken Marcus has an expensive pay-site, but amateur paddled-fatty vids are all over the web for free. Maybe it's better to assess that as the majority of people, within this group as everywhere, being attracted to 'healthy' appearance (noting that's varied a lot with time and place) in others and partners, but due to selves, contexts, etc, may decide or feel that they have to 'settle' for less, and be irritable and defensive about that if it's the case. But it's simply a matter of fact that physical fitness, size, etc limit what can and can't be done, and affect who does and doesn't physically attract whom, in ways that mental influences might or might not override.
I don't know if there would be any sound way to survey the scene-players to figure out if they were heavier or not in comparison to the 'vanilla' population. Just about anything people say here about that is most likely rather anecdotal; such as, the worst cases I've known of fat and thin were outside the scene, and all were obsessed with eating, and seemed to have no other passions in their lives. However, I've also read of studies about 'sensation'-obsessions underlying everything from drug-addictions to self-cutting to morbid-obesity to co-dependence, and those in combination and overlap with each other, that seemed broadly applicable to scene play and players.
Anyway, interesting topic, and yeah, maybe you could have approached it with more, umm, diplomacy.
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