RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (Full Version)

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lizi -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 12:24:30 PM)

 I bet he gives you absolute shit at times when you put those limits in place too, lol. Lots of parents cave in then and the kid ends up running the show, but doesn't know what is prudent to do or what their actions will bring, or doesn't care. It's a disaster. I wish parents had to prove their suitability to parent before having kids. For what it's worth Niney I think you're a hell of a Dad and wish we could clone you.

Bad parenting = hot topic for Lizi  [:o]



Kana -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 12:34:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

This little girl believes she is safe behind the screen. How little she really knows is frightening.


Exactly my point.



lizi -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 12:37:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

This little girl believes she is safe behind the screen. How little she really knows is frightening.


The first class of grades 2-5 in my computer class was having the kids sign a paper upon which I had listed my expected rules for behavior while on the internet. I treated it as being important in a big way. I had them each sign while looking me in the face and also verbally promising to follow my guidelines, then I explained that it was so very important because the internet is a place just like any other where strangers can hurt you, bother you, lie to you, and find out things about you and your family.

I then took one volunteer and ran their name in a general search, showed some little things that i found to the class, usually some blurbs about their after school activities/clubs, or family stuff, or sometimes I could get an address. That was the myspace era, I'd get that on the older kids. From there I'd put the address into mapquest and blow the map up and ask the kid if this was how they got home each day after school, pointing out that anyone else could know this too. Now I'd use Google Earth and show them a picture of their house. It brought things home in a way that impressed them greatly. I never had problems, and in fact most of the kids would ask me when they were uncomfortable with something from that point on when we were in class. I'd also send home a flyer to the parents about safeguarding internet use for the kids, and have after school sessions explaining to them guidelines and possible consequences for the kids.

The kids certainly didn't have a clue, the parents not always either. 



littlewonder -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 12:41:26 PM)

When my daughter was younger she put all her info online until one day I found it and took it all off. When I questioned her about it she really didn't see a big deal about it. She grew up with computers and as one said, she had a different view on computers, they were just another body of people.

Now that she's an adult she's a little smarter but she's still not as careful as I am. She still doesn't see the big deal about most things she puts out there. She simply sees it with different eyes than most of us who found computers later in life.

But like I said, not even all adults understand. They give out just as much info about themselves without even realizing it. I found our darling sockpuppet creator's real name and place just from doing an internet search with his screenname. So  yeah...not just kids.




Ninebelowzero -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 12:43:00 PM)

Thanks for that, sometimes I wonder lol. I get shit on legs syndrome as I call it about twice a year. His mum gets the most of it however the difference is I don't use trigger words such as NO! The difference between his MUm & I is that I have the time to negotiate & explain, she doesn't. So I back her plays 100% I still discipline from his fuckupery with her.
I don't have coke in the house, or sweets or any shit like that, so when he gets them it's a treat not a right lol. He doesn't even ask for them now. However I let him take the suds off the top of my beer as I want him to grow up not thinking that alcohol is a big deal.

I think it's called tough love.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

 I bet he gives you absolute shit at times when you put those limits in place too, lol. Lots of parents cave in then and the kid ends up running the show, but doesn't know what is prudent to do or what their actions will bring, or doesn't care. It's a disaster. I wish parents had to prove their suitability to parent before having kids. For what it's worth Niney I think you're a hell of a Dad and wish we could clone you.

Bad parenting = hot topic for Lizi  [:o]





LillyoftheVally -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 12:44:05 PM)

There is a problem younger people have access to the internet, in some cases they are more internet savvy than their parents which is a bit of a complex mixture. They have all this knowledge and information right at their fingertips but don't always have the processing skills needed to protect themselves (I am saying not always because whenever we talk about the development during different ages we have to be carefull, some move faster than others etc)

However, trying to not be a drama lama she was probably messing around.Much as she was silly to not hide her tracks, we shouldnt over play these things IMO



Fornica -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 12:52:13 PM)

I don't think the internet should be viewed as a terrible scary place, nor the "real world" and yes, they're both bodies of people..but the threats and risks RL and online are vastly different.
This is what they seem to miss.



lizi -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 12:52:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

There is a problem younger people have access to the internet, in some cases they are more internet savvy than their parents which is a bit of a complex mixture. They have all this knowledge and information right at their fingertips but don't always have the processing skills needed to protect themselves (I am saying not always because whenever we talk about the development during different ages we have to be carefull, some move faster than others etc)

However, trying to not be a drama lama she was probably messing around.Much as she was silly to not hide her tracks, we shouldnt over play these things IMO


Excellent point Lilly and you said it better than I did. The kids know more than the parents so the parents tend to leave it up to the kids what they do on the computer, plus the kids in some cases know how to hide things from the parents. The kids have all the techniques to get themselves places online, but as you said, they lack the processing skills to protect themselves. That's it in a nutshell. Shoot, some parents ask the kids for help so they tend to kind of look on in proud amazement at their kid's prowess without knowing what the kids can get into. There's an information gap there, the parents many times are not even aware of what to protect the kids against, and the kid is such a whiz, it seems as though he's got it all under control.

Which is why there should be more supervision overall.  But as I said, that tends to fall through the cracks because the parents are unfamiliar, misled, or actually don't know where stuff on the computer can go.



DesFIP -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 12:54:46 PM)

I think assuming that the parents just don't care isn't at all an appropriate thing to say. Hell Fornica's got 6 kids. Does that mean she's watching all 6 every minute of the day? Never going into the kitchen to cook for half an hour? She never lets them visit a friend who has his/her own computer?

Moreover at 16 they are only two years away from being legal adults. If you do not give your children progressively more freedom bit by bit, do expect them at 18 to fail handling it. I know many kids who went off to college and couldn't handle it. They had never had to do their homework without being told to. They never learned time management because Mom did it for them. Etc.

The only way for them to learn these things is by having the opportunity to do so. Which includes, yes, time online without Mom reading every post.





Fornica -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 12:59:45 PM)

I think like everything else, it's a balance.
In my house, the computer is central. Now, that being said, the oldest here is only 12, so I'm not dealing with a house full of teens (yet), so internet supervision is still easy at this point.



LaTigresse -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 1:04:30 PM)

FR.......we just didn't provide internet to the kids. That was the simplest way to monitor it.

Even now, my computers are password protected. No one uses my computer without permission and they had better have a dire need.....not just to check email or play a game. I paid for it, it is for my photography business, I don't want it messed with. My eldest grandson is too smart for his own good and would love to play on grandma's computer. Nope, there are more constructive things he can be doing. Like hiking with grandma!

I don't say this to trash on parents that allow kids online. It's their house, their kids, their rules, their problems.

I never saw a need for it with my two and I certainly did not HAVE to have it myself.



Fornica -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 1:07:17 PM)

Everything is password protected here as well.



tazzygirl -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 1:08:29 PM)

We had one pc until Thomas was 16. Then he got his own... and a key logger installed. Yes, he knew. Yes, he knew he couldnt bypass it. Yes, he was pissed. Yes, he also knew that I was responsible for all his actions until he turned 18.

I think, often, he adores me because I was so tough.



Ninebelowzero -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 1:08:41 PM)

I don't have an issue with boy using the lappy for research or music. I have an issue with him interacting with other people on the net.



VirginPotty -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 1:12:13 PM)

I had internet when my daughter was 11 or 12 then one time when I signed on I saw the crap she was viewing & disconnected it immediately. 

I couldn't police her as much as I wanted to & there was nothing she "needed" the internet for (school assignments) so it was GONE.  Now that she has 3 kids of her own she & her hubby keep constant track of their pc's at home because their 13yr old is at that "curious" age & since they're password protected he has to have a parent sign on for him before being allowed on the computer.



lizi -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 1:13:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

I think like everything else, it's a balance.
In my house, the computer is central. Now, that being said, the oldest here is only 12, so I'm not dealing with a house full of teens (yet), so internet supervision is still easy at this point.



That's how I set it up here when the kids were all still at home. The computer was in a central location, I could walk past it at any time and see what was up on the screen. I didn't watch over shoulders for extended lengths of time, mostly I looked here and there and if I had any questions, stayed longer to watch more closely, or went right up to the child and asked questions.

The rule was there wasn't anyone to use it if I was upstairs for the night unless i preapproved it, which I did do sometimes. Then I would sometimes check the history and tracking software. The standing thing was they could try to pull something over on me that wasn't cool, and if they were caught (good chance on that) they'd never have access to a computer in my home ever again - they could absolutely count on me following through. It seemed to work. I also always had them have the friends over here and created a friendly atmosphere so that they would want to- plenty of food, games, and a high tolerance for noise. That cut down on whatever happened at someone else's home. Amazingly enough most of the time the kids and their friends were here which made my job easier to watch over from a distance, but be able to keep tabs on things.

Edit* Good point from the other posters on password protection, yes, we had that too. That's how I knew when it was in use and would meander in through the living room. When I wasn't home (rare) or asleep no one could get on.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 1:20:26 PM)

I love how fierce we all are!

Sometimes I feel so old fashioned about these kinds of issues, and kids generally, but I guess we're all THE MEANEST EVAR![:)]



Fornica -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 1:26:17 PM)

Yeah, I'm pretty old school with my kiddos.
It's nice to be able to take them out though and not have to worry about manners and such..I feel like a lucky Mama in that regard :)
Now, somewhat OT, but Hibby, tell the crowd how cute my kids are.



Ninebelowzero -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 1:27:30 PM)

Very cute Forney.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Invincible, Ignorant, or Unsupervised? (1/17/2012 1:27:38 PM)

OMG they are all like little movie stars with the gorgeousness!! Which is no surprise, considering their mom. Such impish smiles, you KNOW that a plot for wrrrrld domination is afoot...



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