RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (Full Version)

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Whenready -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 2:20:08 PM)

Soooo..... married people aren't allowed to vent... but singles are?



OsideGirl -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 2:35:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tabbz

thanks....think its more my anger about it thats surprised me...suspect i'm really cross at my self...cos if i'm honest i did feel he was way out of my league when i saw his pics...but he kept assuring me that 'i was fine'....think he obviously found a 'better option'...
ce la vie...


No honey......those weren't his pics. It had nothing to do with you.



OsideGirl -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 2:38:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Or maybe he decided at the last minute that a fling wasn't worth the risk of messing up
your marriage, or he feared for his safety should your husband find out...or he couldn't
follow through with taking something that belonged to another man. You know, even kinky
people have morals. Maybe his finally showed up, albeit at an inconvenient time for you.
Of course, it would have been much nicer for him to tell you this in advance.


Oh snap.
I generally read profiles before responding, should have in this case.
Yeah, not feeling the empathy any more.

I'm with ya Lizi.

OP unless your husband is aware....I don't have a lot of sympathy.



OsideGirl -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 2:39:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

Soooo..... married people aren't allowed to vent... but singles are?


It's generally in bad taste when a cheater bitches that someone else was dishonest.



poise -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 2:43:28 PM)

No one stopped her from venting.
But since she had no compunction in agreeing with Cynthia that
perhaps he was cheating on his wife, I was merely offering up another
of the myriad of reasons why he was a no show.



Whenready -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 3:00:15 PM)

It's generally in bad taste when a cheater bitches that someone else was dishonest.

Taken as written, I don't disagree. There isn't enough information (as I read it) to know that there was dishonesty. It was (in my opinion) rude not to at least message "sorry - not coming", but not showing up is not dishonest, unless he said yes with no intention of doing so - which we can't know.

The likelihood is that most marrieds here are cheating (by which I mean meeting others without the knowledge and/or consent of their spouse). I'm married. I have said so in my profile. Am I cheating? One can assume, but one cannot know.

So - I don't think it's unreasonable to be sympathetic when something doesnt work out. In which case, venting is fine by me.



Fornica -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 3:10:11 PM)

We all have our ethics.
I refuse to feel sorry for someone who is deceiving another, whining about being deceived. Her profile clearly states the need to be sneaky. That's kinda gross, no?



risktaker9 -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 3:18:14 PM)

I do feel that there was enough in her profile to see that she was meeting someone outside of her husband's knowledge. It's her choice, but then I don't have to go along with it. If she wants to vent here that's fine. The people who posted to support her just felt a bit used I'd say because they were supporting her in something they didnt' agree with in the end. Not too hard to understand.

She or anyone else married is free to come vent and anyone on the board is free to have their own opinions about it or to change how they feel when more information comes out.



Fornica -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 3:21:29 PM)

I think purposely being misleading as to whether your spouse knows you are seeking another is kinda distasteful as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

I'm married. I have said so in my profile. Am I cheating? One can assume, but one cannot know.






Whenready -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 3:30:53 PM)

I think purposely being misleading as to whether your spouse knows you are seeking another is kinda distasteful as well.

You're entitled to your opinion, as I am to my privacy. I know being married is a dealbreaker for many, so it's on my profile to stop people wasting time if it's not for them. Those I've met have been told my & my wife's circumstances - because at that stage it does become their business. They can then choose whether to take things further or not. The OP was stood up - I can sympathise with that whatever the other circumstances.



kalikshama -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 3:40:05 PM)

quote:

I'm married. I have said so in my profile. Am I cheating? One can assume, but one cannot know.


Yes, without also disclaiming that you are in an open marriage, I would assume you were cheating.



Whenready -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 3:46:22 PM)

Feel free to assume whatever you like - but this thread has got derailed so I'll start a new one.



LaTigresse -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 3:50:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

Soooo..... married people aren't allowed to vent... but singles are?


As long as the venting is within TOS anyone can vent.

However what the ventor needs to remember is that, those that reply to said venting, are allowed to reply in whatever manner they wish, as long as it is within TOS.

See how that works?



SilverBoat -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 3:51:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

I think purposely being misleading as to whether your spouse knows you are seeking another is kinda distasteful as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

I'm married. I have said so in my profile. Am I cheating? One can assume, but one cannot know.





Maybe the no-show didn't catch the married-not-telling-spouse until after the arrangement to meet? I had to scan a second time to pick up on that clearly in the journal in question.

The cheating thing is an absolute no-go deal-breaker as far as I'm concerned. And the separated-but-divorce-ain't-final is pretty much there too.

Beyond the ethical issues (I refuse to knowingly help a cheater), such things also seem more likely to be set-ups for the kind of social conflicts that show up reality shows, if not for outright criminal entanglements or worse. What happens if spouse has found out, or is party to planned foul-play?

Anyway, yeah, if I'd discovered after agreeing to meet that there was a spouse kept ignorant, I'd be a no-show. I'd probably not just drop out, but there wouldn't be much need for further discussion.

...



Baroana -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 3:53:55 PM)

tabbz, I stand by my prior statement that no-show guy should have had the stones to say something to you, preferably before you drove 20 miles to meet him. He was wrong.

As I said before, he probably will get his just desserts someday. If you in fact were cheating on your husband, then you certainly got yours.



OsideGirl -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 4:29:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready
It was (in my opinion) rude not to at least message "sorry - not coming" but not showing up is not dishonest
I disagree. If you tell me that you're going to do something....and then you don't follow through, it's dishonest.



tameeks -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 4:34:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

tabbz, I stand by my prior statement that no-show guy should have had the stones to say something to you, preferably before you drove 20 miles to meet him. He was wrong.

As I said before, he probably will get his just desserts someday. If you in fact were cheating on your husband, then you certainly got yours.


QFT... especially the bolded.



SailingBum -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 4:47:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

I think purposely being misleading as to whether your spouse knows you are seeking another is kinda distasteful as well.

You're entitled to your opinion, as I am to my privacy. I know being married is a dealbreaker for many, so it's on my profile to stop people wasting time if it's not for them. Those I've met have been told my & my wife's circumstances - because at that stage it does become their business. They can then choose whether to take things further or not. The OP was stood up - I can sympathise with that whatever the other circumstances.


Dude whether you have approval from your wife or not it's still called adultery. Rationalize it any way you want your still cheating. Sheesh!

BadOne



crazyml -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 4:53:42 PM)

pppsst... go a bit easier on the mascara poppet ;-)



poise -> RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... (1/22/2012 4:57:33 PM)

I shall try harder next bag. I promise! [image]http://smileys.emoticonsonly.com/emoticons/m/makeup-1518.gif[/image]



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