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RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 2:20:08 PM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		Soooo..... married people aren't allowed to vent... but singles are?

(in reply to SilverBoat)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 2:35:32 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tabbz

thanks....think its more my anger about it thats surprised me...suspect i'm really cross at my self...cos if i'm honest i did feel he was way out of my league when i saw his pics...but he kept assuring me that 'i was fine'....think he obviously found a 'better option'...
ce la vie...


No honey......those weren't his pics. It had nothing to do with you.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to tabbz)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 2:38:19 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Or maybe he decided at the last minute that a fling wasn't worth the risk of messing up
your marriage, or he feared for his safety should your husband find out...or he couldn't
follow through with taking something that belonged to another man. You know, even kinky
people have morals. Maybe his finally showed up, albeit at an inconvenient time for you.
Of course, it would have been much nicer for him to tell you this in advance.


Oh snap.
I generally read profiles before responding, should have in this case.
Yeah, not feeling the empathy any more.

I'm with ya Lizi.

OP unless your husband is aware....I don't have a lot of sympathy.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 2:39:28 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

Soooo..... married people aren't allowed to vent... but singles are?


It's generally in bad taste when a cheater bitches that someone else was dishonest.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 2:43:28 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		No one stopped her from venting.
But since she had no compunction in agreeing with Cynthia that
perhaps he was cheating on his wife, I was merely offering up another
of the myriad of reasons why he was a no show.

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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 3:00:15 PM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		It's generally in bad taste when a cheater bitches that someone else was dishonest.

Taken as written, I don't disagree. There isn't enough information (as I read it) to know that there was dishonesty. It was (in my opinion) rude not to at least message "sorry - not coming", but not showing up is not dishonest, unless he said yes with no intention of doing so - which we can't know.

The likelihood is that most marrieds here are cheating (by which I mean meeting others without the knowledge and/or consent of their spouse). I'm married. I have said so in my profile. Am I cheating? One can assume, but one cannot know.

So - I don't think it's unreasonable to be sympathetic when something doesnt work out. In which case, venting is fine by me.

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 3:10:11 PM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		We all have our ethics.
I refuse to feel sorry for someone who is deceiving another, whining about being deceived. Her profile clearly states the need to be sneaky. That's kinda gross, no?

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There is no spoon.


(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 3:18:14 PM   
risktaker9


Posts: 197
Joined: 3/10/2010
Status: offline 		I do feel that there was enough in her profile to see that she was meeting someone outside of her husband's knowledge. It's her choice, but then I don't have to go along with it. If she wants to vent here that's fine. The people who posted to support her just felt a bit used I'd say because they were supporting her in something they didnt' agree with in the end. Not too hard to understand.

She or anyone else married is free to come vent and anyone on the board is free to have their own opinions about it or to change how they feel when more information comes out.

(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 3:21:29 PM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		I think purposely being misleading as to whether your spouse knows you are seeking another is kinda distasteful as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

I'm married. I have said so in my profile. Am I cheating? One can assume, but one cannot know.





_____________________________

There is no spoon.


(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 3:30:53 PM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		I think purposely being misleading as to whether your spouse knows you are seeking another is kinda distasteful as well.

You're entitled to your opinion, as I am to my privacy. I know being married is a dealbreaker for many, so it's on my profile to stop people wasting time if it's not for them. Those I've met have been told my & my wife's circumstances - because at that stage it does become their business. They can then choose whether to take things further or not. The OP was stood up - I can sympathise with that whatever the other circumstances.

(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 3:40:05 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I'm married. I have said so in my profile. Am I cheating? One can assume, but one cannot know.


Yes, without also disclaiming that you are in an open marriage, I would assume you were cheating.

(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 3:46:22 PM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		Feel free to assume whatever you like - but this thread has got derailed so I'll start a new one.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 3:50:55 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

Soooo..... married people aren't allowed to vent... but singles are?


As long as the venting is within TOS anyone can vent.

However what the ventor needs to remember is that, those that reply to said venting, are allowed to reply in whatever manner they wish, as long as it is within TOS.

See how that works?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 3:51:20 PM   
SilverBoat


Posts: 257
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

I think purposely being misleading as to whether your spouse knows you are seeking another is kinda distasteful as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

I'm married. I have said so in my profile. Am I cheating? One can assume, but one cannot know.





Maybe the no-show didn't catch the married-not-telling-spouse until after the arrangement to meet? I had to scan a second time to pick up on that clearly in the journal in question.

The cheating thing is an absolute no-go deal-breaker as far as I'm concerned. And the separated-but-divorce-ain't-final is pretty much there too.

Beyond the ethical issues (I refuse to knowingly help a cheater), such things also seem more likely to be set-ups for the kind of social conflicts that show up reality shows, if not for outright criminal entanglements or worse. What happens if spouse has found out, or is party to planned foul-play?

Anyway, yeah, if I'd discovered after agreeing to meet that there was a spouse kept ignorant, I'd be a no-show. I'd probably not just drop out, but there wouldn't be much need for further discussion.

...

(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 3:53:55 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		tabbz, I stand by my prior statement that no-show guy should have had the stones to say something to you, preferably before you drove 20 miles to meet him. He was wrong.

As I said before, he probably will get his just desserts someday. If you in fact were cheating on your husband, then you certainly got yours.

< Message edited by Baroana -- 1/22/2012 3:56:09 PM >

(in reply to SilverBoat)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 4:29:54 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready
It was (in my opinion) rude not to at least message "sorry - not coming" but not showing up is not dishonest
I disagree. If you tell me that you're going to do something....and then you don't follow through, it's dishonest.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 4:34:46 PM   
tameeks


Posts: 173
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

tabbz, I stand by my prior statement that no-show guy should have had the stones to say something to you, preferably before you drove 20 miles to meet him. He was wrong.

As I said before, he probably will get his just desserts someday. If you in fact were cheating on your husband, then you certainly got yours.


QFT... especially the bolded.

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 4:47:00 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

I think purposely being misleading as to whether your spouse knows you are seeking another is kinda distasteful as well.

You're entitled to your opinion, as I am to my privacy. I know being married is a dealbreaker for many, so it's on my profile to stop people wasting time if it's not for them. Those I've met have been told my & my wife's circumstances - because at that stage it does become their business. They can then choose whether to take things further or not. The OP was stood up - I can sympathise with that whatever the other circumstances.


Dude whether you have approval from your wife or not it's still called adultery. Rationalize it any way you want your still cheating. Sheesh!

BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 4:53:42 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		pppsst... go a bit easier on the mascara poppet ;-)

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: is it wrong to need to have a little vent.... - 1/22/2012 4:57:33 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		I shall try harder next bag. I promise!

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 60
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