|
OhBeMyMind -> RE: COLLARME: Abusive messages to new member with disability (6/1/2006 2:40:42 PM)
|
RM, I do see where you are coming from and I do respect your point of view. In many ways I do agree with you.
Helping to change the perception of one person, is better than none.
However, where online is concerned, what are you going to do? Spend all of your time sending emails to various shallow, adolescent, unaccepting, closed-minded people that try to offend someone by targeting their insecurities? Thereby goading them into doing it moreso, because they got the reaction they are after. I have said it before in a different thread and I will say it again...Misery loves company. Why offer someone that benefit, that sick pleasure, on a silver platter?
I do not necessarily feel that someone needs to thicken their skin, though it would certainly help, but, gosh.....grow up and lose the stinking drama. Realize the difference between online and real life. Online there is no way of knowing who sent some childish message, it's faceless, it's voiceless, it's a meaningless typed message. Mentally, I cannot grasp how it can be so offensive. And in this sense I do not see how it has anything whatsoever to do with confidence. It's online.
The best advice on this thread has been echoed many times over...delete, delete, delete...and move on.
The whole production reminds me of tattling children...."He looked at me"...."She touched me"....."He breathed my air"....."She doesn't like my dress and that hurt my feelings".
Somebody just give me a break.
If you coddle and pacify someone long enough they are never going to be able to take care of themselves, and it is not going to help build self-confidence. So in this case....saying 'hey, just delete it and don't worry about it' would be quite useful.
Unless the point is to keep someone in an insecure frame of mind so that knight in shining armor can ride onto the scene with sword drawn and make it all better......It gives that knight a feeling purpose and the feeling of being needed.
Seems there are actually more than one issue here.
Online vs. Real time
Absuive messages and how to deal with them
Helping to build someone's self-confidence
(and probably several others as well)
Note: All is intended for the sole purpose of discussion please.
quote:
ORIGINAL: RavenMuse
quote:
ORIGINAL: OhBeMyMind
If someone wants to 'really' complain about the treatment disabled people receive, why not start with a "real" cause....ohhh, something like department stores not making all isles accessible for someone in a wheelchair (just for starters). This ~gags~ online ...BS is really quite ridiculous IMO.
Whilst I'm guessing we would be on the same side of the argument in many cases, here we definatly view things somewhat diffrent. The 'real cause' is peoples perceptions and the battle ground isn't just in department stores.... but in getting folks to look at their attitudes and stopping seeing the disability instead of the person!
This thread for me, the disability was only secondary... baseline, those creeps hit many people in many ways. If a girl is on the large side then they will go for that, if english is there second language thats what they will pick on, disability oh easy target. Colour, sexuality.... anything they can try and use to undermine the confidence of someone they have spotted maybe a little unsure of themself because the lame crettins who do it are cowards and wouldn't last two seconds against someone who was confident.
And before someone gets the wrong end of the stick.... it isn't a problem with the site, CM does as much as anyone could reasonably expect to prevent such things and make it easy as posible to deal with.... I've delt with a lot of girls who have had confidence problems, saying 'develop a thicker skin' is about as useful as me telling you to grow a set of gills to avoid drowning if you find yourself in the river.... Sometimes they need just a little help in learning how to swim!
|
|
|
|
