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RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 11:05:20 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Kana.. a classic movie. a classic dialogue. a classic closing line!!

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 11:05:39 AM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		omg HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That was awesome.

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 11:12:52 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Hello, TaylorMarie, and welcome to collarme.

I've never asked and never been asked.  It likely is more of an issue for a younger person like you, than someone my age.

I note that you're in the Denver area.  There are a lot of kink activities here - Skales, the R&L parties, the TNG group at the Sanctuary, and the munches.


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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 11:21:32 AM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		Kana, I can't believe that someone didn't follow your quote with this one...

"You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you."

OP, the answer to your question isn't how many you have been with before but who you are with now. Or if you want advice from the younger men I asked....take whatever the real number is subtract nine then take away half.Tell the person asking the remaining number. Because it seems most boys will just do that sort of math no matter what number you give them. Try to keep the number lower than the amount of fingers you have(god, boys are weird)



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We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 11:26:31 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

Kana, I can't believe that someone didn't follow your quote with this one...

"You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you."



The Silent One speaks!


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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 11:29:11 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		To the OP

I have had people in vanilla land ask but can't think of any in BDSM land who have. Also as to how many people is too many or too few completely depends on the persons perspective, and generally if theirs is that there is a too few or too many number they are not worth all that much.


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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 11:58:43 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Let's see...I'm 40 years old and haven't been a virgin since I was 15. So yeah I've had quite a few partners (won't mention numbers), I've had a few relationships, one night stands, pity fucks, fwbs, etc...I'm not pure by any standard.

He's never asked so I assume it doesn't bother him. I've never asked him. Not important to me. We both know we had lives before we met each other that wasn't exactly...clean living. All we cared was that we both got tested and made sure we didn't have any diseases.

If you're with someone that is bothered by it then it sounds like a man you may not want to be with due to insecurity issues or his morals and values that may not match yours.



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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 12:04:54 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I honestly have never had ANYONE ask me how many partners I have had.


This.

Im 46, grew up in the age before aids.... started having sex at 13.... no way in hell would I ever begin to count...

But if a man is worried that I have had more partners than he has, he is probably right.

If that bothers him, he isnt the man for me.

I dont ask, I have never asked a man. I have never had a man ask me.

As far as the locks post... lol... I assure you, they dont wear out.

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 1/22/2012 12:05:26 PM >

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 12:09:54 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		I am pretty sure i've never been asked..

If i was, I would simply say it's my business...

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 12:16:51 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Hi TaylorMarie. Welcome to the message boards.
I wonder if the question is asked of you mainly because of your age,
and not necessarily because of any implied promiscuity.
I am curious in knowing what the age group is of those asking.

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 12:31:36 PM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		I don't adhere to the concept of promiscuity as inherently bad (though I have always wanted to deflower a virgin, a fantasy regrettably unfulfilled) so there is no number which is going to be too high. I do usually ask eventually, but that's mostly because I'm nosy and curious lol.

Provided all of your encounters have been undertaken in good faith your 'number' is not going to be offputting. If anything I have to assume that someone who has been with lots and lots of partners clearly knows something others do not

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 12:58:29 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

I don't adhere to the concept of promiscuity as inherently bad (though I have always
wanted to deflower a virgin, a fantasy regrettably unfulfilled) so there is no number which is
going to be too high. I do usually ask eventually, but that's mostly because I'm nosy and curious lol.

Provided all of your encounters have been undertaken in good faith your 'number' is not going
to be offputting. If anything I have to assume that someone who has been with lots and lots of
partners clearly knows something others do not


My apologies, cockmuffin. May I call you that? It is, afterall, your avatar title.
I was not implying that promiscuity was bad at all, but merely trying to find a reason
why she is asked much more often than us older, much more experienced wimmenz.

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 1:28:07 PM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poise


My apologies, cockmuffin. May I call you that? It is, afterall, your avatar title.

Oh dear. Somehow I knew that no good would come of breaking my aloof perfection in that post, but I didn't imagine it would be quite this tragic. I was really hoping I'd end up with The Lord and the Christ. This will never do

ETA: I know just who to blame for this, too...
quote:

I was not implying that promiscuity was bad at all, but merely trying to find a reason
why she is asked much more often than us older, much more experienced wimmenz.

I wasn't really responding to your post in particular, you were just the last on the page lol. Anyway, I imagine it might just be a generational difference. Men of a certain age are raised on the "A gentleman never asks and a lady never tells" ethos, whereas those of us lurking in the GenX/GenY spectrum are less attached to that sort of propriety. I mean, I can give you the number for the majority of my female friends and a few of my professors, so to not know for someone I'm involved with would be quite strange for me, regardless of their age.

Since people usually date within their age group, one ethos rarely overlaps with another.



< Message edited by Epytropos -- 1/22/2012 1:32:21 PM >

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They're only words. Don't dwell on them. They never mean what you think.

I speak only of My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 2:53:33 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		In other words, the old double standard whereby men can have many lovers, women not so much.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Trismagistus

I don't have a real number or anything, just a quote "a key that fits many locks, is a master key, a lock that fits many keys, is just a shitty lock"



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MasterK's whiteslavebitch

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 8:54:04 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		I remember having a girlfriend that would not STFU about how many ladies I'd been with. She would ask probably three times a week.

I was in a band in the 80s. I have no idea but, we were fairly active for 5 years and we lived the lifestyle, folks. You do the math.

Anyway, we finally had a conversation that went like this:

Her: "Please tell me how many?"

Me: "You really don't want to know."

Her: "But, I really do want to know."

Me: "Really?"

Her: "Yes, please."

Me: "Okay. Fine. One ... two ... three ... four ... five ... six ... you ... eight ... nine ..."

End of conversation.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/22/2012 11:18:30 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I like someone that has had experience and training. 
Productive experiences that taught them something. 




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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/23/2012 1:46:40 AM   
RaspberryLemon


Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline 		My Master enjoys the fact that I was a virgin before him. He enjoys knowing I have only ever belonged to him. And although my inexperience may have been tedious to him at first, he enjoyed teaching me and training me to please him perfectly. He liked being the one to give me that experience. I learned it all from him and with him--all of my experience is specifically catered to him. We like that. All of it only ever was his--my entirety. And he says that's a nice thought. I think it's sweet, too. I view things traditionally in the sense that I waited to give myself to the right man--I always wanted to save myself for the partner I intend to spend my life with. I feel sort of warm and fuzzy thinking about the fact that my Master is the only man who has ever touched me like that.

And I know a lot of people will disagree with this line of thinking, say the only people who care about # of partners are insecure, etc. But I don't think it's about insecurity (at least not in all cases.) I think it's merely a difference in personal views and morality. I think it's an issue of compatibility of morals rather than 'correct or incorrect' way of seeing the issue.

As for "none of their business to ask," I disagree with that. If I am going to be merging my life with somebody else's, everything about me becomes their business--including my past. And vice versa. I don't believe in keeping secrets from my partner or hiding pieces of me because "it's personal," because as my partner they are now part of my "personal" and thus I feel they have the right to know whatever they want about me. To my partner I am a completely open book and I expect the same from them. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to know about your partner's life--past, present, and future intentions all included.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/23/2012 2:19:10 AM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RaspberryLemon

My Master enjoys the fact that I was a virgin before him. He enjoys knowing I have only ever belonged to him. And although my inexperience may have been tedious to him at first, he enjoyed teaching me and training me to please him perfectly. He liked being the one to give me that experience. I learned it all from him and with him--all of my experience is specifically catered to him. We like that. All of it only ever was his--my entirety. And he says that's a nice thought. I think it's sweet, too. I view things traditionally in the sense that I waited to give myself to the right man--I always wanted to save myself for the partner I intend to spend my life with. I feel sort of warm and fuzzy thinking about the fact that my Master is the only man who has ever touched me like that.

And I know a lot of people will disagree with this line of thinking, say the only people who care about # of partners are insecure, etc. But I don't think it's about insecurity (at least not in all cases.) I think it's merely a difference in personal views and morality. I think it's an issue of compatibility of morals rather than 'correct or incorrect' way of seeing the issue.

As for "none of their business to ask," I disagree with that. If I am going to be merging my life with somebody else's, everything about me becomes their business--including my past. And vice versa. I don't believe in keeping secrets from my partner or hiding pieces of me because "it's personal," because as my partner they are now part of my "personal" and thus I feel they have the right to know whatever they want about me. To my partner I am a completely open book and I expect the same from them. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to know about your partner's life--past, present, and future intentions all included.


I actually agree with all of this, which I never get to say about posts. There definitely is something endearing about having someone untouched who will only ever belong to you, though as I said before I certainly don't fault anyone for being (ahem) highly experienced. I especially agree with the last bit - the concept of something being "too personal" to share with someone you intend to spend your life with is absurd. Don't get me wrong, if people don't want to know or don't want to tell, that's their prerogative, but just the same I find it baffling.

Well put.

_____________________________

They're only words. Don't dwell on them. They never mean what you think.

I speak only of My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/23/2012 2:55:17 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TaylorMarie

I'm just curious about if it matters how many sexual partners
Your submissive or slave has had before you?
How much is too many?


Millions and millions served ... I draw the line at just under a million.

BadOne


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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Dear Masters,... - 1/23/2012 4:42:21 PM   
BikerDomRealTime


Posts: 86
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		It doesn't matter what-so-ever how many partners she has had.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 40
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