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RE: Master does not want sex - 1/24/2012 8:27:08 PM   
xXLithiumXx


Posts: 723
Joined: 9/2/2008
From: Hell, Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
ANd most of the posts have been from concerned educated women, some even lived thru this type of WRONG Domination
The problem here is not "wrong domination".  The problem is that your Master, ex-Master, whateverthefuckheisnow happens to be something of a cunt.  The problem you have/had/described/imagined has nothing to do with BDSM.  It has to do with character.  Pure and simple.




^^ This.

_____________________________

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement


You have to believe in yourself. -Tsun Tzu-

Resident Malkavian.

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 221
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/24/2012 8:28:47 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xXLithiumXx
Ah, but in the insanity is insight. Many forget that fact, but it is a fact none the less.
  Yeah, yeah, that's what all you nutbags say.

quote:

Also, subtlety would not be lost on us, it gives us more room to move.
Methinks you're thinking of ambiguity.  I'd still contend subtlety would be too easily missed when you're barking mad and having conversations with yourself, but I'll have to slip some in sometime and see if you notice it.


_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to xXLithiumXx)
Profile   Post #: 222
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/24/2012 8:34:40 PM   
xXLithiumXx


Posts: 723
Joined: 9/2/2008
From: Hell, Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: xXLithiumXx
Ah, but in the insanity is insight. Many forget that fact, but it is a fact none the less.
  Yeah, yeah, that's what all you nutbags say.

quote:

Also, subtlety would not be lost on us, it gives us more room to move.
Methinks you're thinking of ambiguity.  I'd still contend subtlety would be too easily missed when you're barking mad and having conversations with yourself, but I'll have to slip some in sometime and see if you notice it.





Lol. =P Nutbags.

I haven't barked or pissed the floor in months thank you. And I am not on speaking terms with myself, that bitch stole my ex and I refuse to let it slide.
Fuckin' cheap hooker.

_____________________________

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement


You have to believe in yourself. -Tsun Tzu-

Resident Malkavian.

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 223
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/24/2012 8:59:18 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Traitors all of you.  You're ruining this submissive with good advice!  Now how is this guy gonna' get his house cleaned and his balls emptied for free? 




_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to xXLithiumXx)
Profile   Post #: 224
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/24/2012 9:10:56 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		How 'bout the old fashioned way? Dating?

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 225
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/24/2012 9:12:56 PM   
ghostraven


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/19/2012
Status: offline 		There is a line between Bdsm and the perfect back up girl. You, madam, are his back up. Alternately, he is waiting to accept you submission and when you do he will reward you with all that your heart desires. Isn't that how dictators in third world countries reward the people they oppress after they submit?

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 226
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/24/2012 9:15:43 PM   
xXLithiumXx


Posts: 723
Joined: 9/2/2008
From: Hell, Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Traitors all of you.  You're ruining this submissive with good advice!  Now how is this guy gonna' get his house cleaned and his balls emptied for free? 






You've heard of do it yourself?

Grab a dust pan and some lube, apply at users discretion.

_____________________________

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement


You have to believe in yourself. -Tsun Tzu-

Resident Malkavian.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 227
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/25/2012 2:36:11 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Traitors all of you.  You're ruining this submissive with good advice!  Now how is this guy gonna' get his house cleaned and his balls emptied for free? 





Are you kidding me??? Bitches are just like buses one comes along every few minutes.

BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 228
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/25/2012 2:44:24 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		which is fine until they decide to re route...!

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 229
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/25/2012 4:03:50 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		The sad part is, they don't. There is always another to take the OP's place. And every woman like her, for every guy like him. Those of us standing on the outside can see him/them, for what they are and wonder "what the fuck?!?!?" But for whatever reason, the women line up to buy their lines of bullshit, thinking that THEY are the special one that can save him from himself, unlike all of the losers before her. Then bam......they are sucked right into that line of losers.

The only good thing I see in this mess is that, based on what I've read, they didn't have kids together. Unlike my bosses wife and her douche canoe of an ex. He has three ex's with kids. He is some big shot oral surgeon over at the U. Poor baby had to have his mommy and daddy move back into his McMansion with him because the thousands he's paying in child support, alimony, and because of his douchebag ways, legal fees.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 230
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/25/2012 4:27:06 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		I was trying to be polite LaT... I agree with you.. unfortunately, saving people from themselves is a soul killer, a thankless task and ultimately you end up being the bad guy.
Assholes and suckers make the world go round apparently, reality is a mother fucker.
added, Ive been there and got the bruises and scars, so im not claiming know it all or superior status.
I still have feelings for a guy I put in prison 28 years ago.. but time comes when you have to get out or continue with a life full of ugliness. or worse

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 231
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/25/2012 4:44:47 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Indeed.

I think we all, at some point in our lives, have been a sucker. Even if it was wayyyyyyyy back in our yout! The key is to learn from it and move forward. Which I believe most people do. Unfortunately there are a few that tend to be like a washing machine. They get put through the wringer and after drying out and getting fluffed, they just hop right back in. Assured that the next cycle will somehow be better than the last.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 232
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/25/2012 5:07:04 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		"be careful who you play with!"

When I met this man, I acted nothing like he wanted me too. I was used to getting my own way, manipulating to get it even sometimes, the attitude I told people what to do they didnt tell me what to do. Definite attitude, and alot of anger.
I was very attracted to him from the start physically but mentally I thought he was a complete ego maniac and couldnt stand how he tried to control me. We had many arguments about how A MAN DOESNT TELL ME WHAT TO DO. I DONT SERVE PEOPLE. I AM NOT SUBMISSIVE.
ANd Guess what happened? A year later I was following his crumbs and eating out of his hand and seeing him exclusively, even when I wasnt getting any sexual favors back that I wanted from him. He was stronger then me and swayed me.
Now if he hadnt used me as a doormat, I would have been happy, because i really liked finding this new side found in me. Being more giving and even tempered. So out of every bad situation something positive can be found. I did learn some valuable lessons.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 233
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/25/2012 5:32:22 AM   
Winterapple


Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline 		That's good. Maya Angelou has a saying "When you
knew better you did better."
And accepting and acknowledging you
were attracted to him and other aspects
is IMO a good thing. Making mistakes
doesn't mean your a victim it just means
your human.

_____________________________

A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
Rimbaud




(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 234
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/25/2012 5:43:19 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xXLithiumXx


quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
ANd most of the posts have been from concerned educated women, some even lived thru this type of WRONG Domination
The problem here is not "wrong domination".  The problem is that your Master, ex-Master, whateverthefuckheisnow happens to be something of a cunt.  The problem you have/had/described/imagined has nothing to do with BDSM.  It has to do with character.  Pure and simple.




^^ This.


I have to agree with this! The Domination was Not Wrong, it actually was a positive experience in one respect, that I found the "good feeling" within myself to be a better giving person who realized dealing with everything in anger is not the answer. If it had been a different man "not a cunt man" lol who gave back and rewarded the behavior in return it could have been a beautiful dynamic with beautiful results. I would have been very happy and satisfied to recieve his collar and continue on the positive path. But the man happened to be a narcissist, who had only his own gain in mind to change me.

I LOVE LIGHT BULB MOMENTS! WooooHOOOOOOO

(in reply to xXLithiumXx)
Profile   Post #: 235
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/25/2012 6:04:30 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24


quote:

ORIGINAL: xXLithiumXx


quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
ANd most of the posts have been from concerned educated women, some even lived thru this type of WRONG Domination
The problem here is not "wrong domination".  The problem is that your Master, ex-Master, whateverthefuckheisnow happens to be something of a cunt.  The problem you have/had/described/imagined has nothing to do with BDSM.  It has to do with character.  Pure and simple.




^^ This.


I have to agree with this! The Domination was Not Wrong, it actually was a positive experience in one respect, that I found the "good feeling" within myself to be a better giving person who realized dealing with everything in anger is not the answer. If it had been a different man "not a cunt man" lol who gave back and rewarded the behavior in return it could have been a beautiful dynamic with beautiful results. I would have been very happy and satisfied to recieve his collar and continue on the positive path. But the man happened to be a narcissist, who had only his own gain in mind to change me.

I LOVE LIGHT BULB MOMENTS! WooooHOOOOOOO


To continue on in this vein since it seems to be a big part of this particular thread and your experience OP - at the heart of BDSM and D/s, is a relationship between human beings. The addition of kink doesn't somehow make that relationship different- I'm talking about relationships, not casual play or one-offs. I know that sometimes when we start out with D/s we think we're in new territory for some reason, we're not. Sure there are different activities and maybe a different focus, but people are first relating to each other as people, not as 'kinksters'.

To put it another way kink doesn't magically make things unacceptable things acceptable. To put it another way, if it's not ok in a vanilla relationship (to the participants), then it's not ok in a D/s relationship. Take the kink out of a relationship and look at it, does it satisfy you? Is it healthy for you? Would you say this is where you want to be with someone? If there are any buts, or exceptions, then it's not right- just like in the vanilla world. Dominance and submission does not make unhealthy things ok. OP, for a while there you kept trying to set this relationship outside of the usual relationship box because it was kinky, it's not special, it's not different, it's a relationship and the regular rules still apply.

I did stupid things when I started out thinking I was 'supposed' to be a certain way. Well, that was dumb. I wanted to belong to something that was meaningful to me, I tried to fit in- it's a typical response. I ran into some guys that took advantage of that. Thankfully it didnt' take me too long to catch on that I was being a moron. Putting a kinky spin on things does not mean that dysfunctional things are magically ok.

I'd advise you to stop looking for a "Dominant" to Dominate you, but look for a man to fulfill what you want in a relationship. Put the kink aside - ascertain that it's there, and that your desires match - then look at the relationship as a whole and see if it satisfies you or not. Kink should never make you stick with something - it should never be a deciding factor. The man and the relationship you have with him is the base of things.

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 236
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/25/2012 6:04:34 AM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		Well next time read the motherfucking thread before you kick me in the vag.
;)
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

LadyPact got pissed about it maybe two weeks ago and posted a long-ass thread that I didn't read, but posted in at the very end anyway. 




_____________________________

There is no spoon.


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 237
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/25/2012 6:14:53 AM   
Hippiekinkster


Posts: 5512
Joined: 11/20/2007
From: Liechtenstein
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Yeah.  But that's been a problem in BDSM ever since the scene went het. 
It's all the fuckin' swingers who "discovered" they were submittives/dominates. And the punk/"goth" kiddies who needed some new kicks. Said not entirely tongue-in-cheek.

Tell ya what, chatter, you can take every single stitch off and give me a BJ and I won't charge you a dime. I might even get YOU off if'n I'm feelin' sentimental.



_____________________________

"We are convinced that freedom w/o Socialism is privilege and injustice, and that Socialism w/o freedom is slavery and brutality." Bakunin

“Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we are saved by love.” Reinhold Ne

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 238
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/25/2012 6:49:56 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		OP, you really aren't an extremely difficult submissive to train like he told you. You wouldn't be that way with someone you trusted, with someone who cared for you as much as you care for him, with someone with whom you have a lot of compatibility. Most of all with someone who understands that to get submission he has to show that he deserves it. That you don't get blind obedience unless you have a history of making the right decisions.

In other words, a man who doesn't just want to use you.

Take time, heal. In the future, if a guy doesn't want to take the time for trust to be earned on both sides, move on.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Hippiekinkster)
Profile   Post #: 239
RE: Master does not want sex - 1/25/2012 7:59:43 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

I'm also somewhat wryly amused at the regulars' habit of deciding newbie chicks who post need 'rescuing' but newbie guys who post are HNG's, douche-bags or time-wasters.


Apparently you missed these threads started by newbie Dommes:

Tasks for female subs/slaves

SEXY DOMME WANTS SLAVES FOR SERVITUDE!

Bow down slaves

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

It's also not necessarily true. If a 21 year old lady comes on demanding tribute from all the piggies, she is put in her place.
If a man comes on telling all the "cumsluts" to petition him for his attention, he is put in his place.

But people who come across as regular people exploring and asking questions one would expect to hear from someone who is new, but not an HNG, are treated as people. No matter their sex. (imo)


Nailed it!

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 240
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