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stellauk -> RE: Master does not want sex (1/23/2012 6:00:40 PM)
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Okay, so what do we have here?
A guy in Indiana with a public career, living alone, single, can meet only once a month with a female submissive, she does his chores and gives him a blow job, and it's difficult meeting because of conflicting schedules and he has no interest in sex.
I can't believe I'm the first one on this thread to consider this possibility.
Has it ever occurred to you OP that your Master might not be heterosexual, as in, like, homosexual?
He might be in the closet, and you are fulfilling the need of a woman in his life perhaps for the sake of appearances.
But the thing is, does it really matter anyway? Because I bet you don't know and this possibility might be making you wonder if you've never thought of it before.
A lack of experience is no excuse. You are responsible. You have been responsible ever since the day you were born, responsible for your words, responsible for your actions, responsible for your behaviour, responsible for the decisions you take, responsible for the choices you make it in life, and for what you do as a result.
Not having much experience in BDSM is not an excuse. Take a look at everyone here, you will notice that everyone has two legs, two arms, a body, a head, they have hair, they have skin, they have hairs, and all the right bits, they are just as much human beings as people outside BDSM and you relate to them pretty much in the same way.
You see you might call that what you share with your 'Master' a relationship, but is it really? From what I can see I couldn't even call it a decent cleaning job.
If this is a proper intimate D/s relationship between Master - submissive, then where is the intimacy, where is the mutual benefits, where are the payoffs for both?
At best it's nothing but a superficial relationship, or even closer to the truth, two separate individual people pretending to themselves that it's a relationship when it's anything but.
You appear to be doing one of the classic female sub things of shifting responsibility for yourself either onto your Master or onto the relationship itself and not seeking to develop a mutually rewarding and beneficial relationship with the man before you even consider him to become your Master.
You are 44 years old, why are you still creating superficial relationships in your mid-40's? Why is something so fundamental and basic as sex still an issue so far on into this 'relationship'?
Why are you assuming that relationships between men and women are different just because they involve BDSM?
Let me ask you, if this man was just a man, and not a dominant or a Master, would you still be having the same sort of relationship? If not, why not?
Do you love yourself? Do you see yourself as someone of value? Who are you? Do you know? Do you care?
Obviously the above aren't questions I'm looking for you to respond to. These are questions I'm suggesting you go away and ask yourself, and you keep asking yourself until you find the answers and are confident enough to feel you know the answers and have learned from the experiences.
You want a solution to your situation? here's one. Stop creating superficial relationships.
You might have come here thinking that BDSM is 'alternative' and you need a Master (a bit like needing shoes isn't it hun?)
You might think you can get away with these sorts of superficial relationships because it's BDSM.
But the bottom line is that these relationships are anything but superficial. And until you make that part of your mindset you are always going to run into these sorts of problems in whatever relationship you try to create.
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