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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 4:42:02 PM   
genvieve


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline 		i think that those who ebrace Sado-massochism have to be very self aware.  Since S&M isn't the "norm"...and it actually quite counterintuitive to some, well...to many... 
 
W/we as a people not only have to acknowledge what it is that W/we want...but W/we also have to embrace it and tell O/ourselves it's ok to want to be beated to a bloody pulp on a Saturday night.
And the Dominant has to tell Him or Herself that "It's ok to want to beat My partner bloody" and "This doesn't make me abusive if he or she wants it"
 
So yes, just as i think a lot of D/s and M/s relationships tend to last longer, due to communication..i think those of U/us who enjoy pain and power exchange have to be more self-aware.

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 4:42:42 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: doll

We are more in-tune with what we want and what we desire to make ourselves happy... nillas normally go with the flow to make others happy.


As a submissive I tend to " go with the flow" to make my
" other"  happy.

As for the OP topic.... as I have stated numerous times before on this board.. One aspect of this lifestyle I just can't embrace is the idea that * we *..
feel more....
love harder.....
have stronger emotions.....
have a closer bond......
are more open and honest.....
.............. and the beat goes on.............

In some circles of BDSM there seems to be a prevalant form of elitism. Yet these same folks scorn others they perceive as elitists.

               mbmbn

< Message edited by maybemaybenot -- 6/1/2006 4:43:21 PM >

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to doll)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 4:46:21 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		The third person speak thing makes me wonder if those people know that they're speaking of themselves.  Maybe they're not sure they exist.

Just a thought.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 4:52:29 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

The third person speak thing makes me wonder if those people know that they're speaking of themselves.  Maybe they're not sure they exist.

Just a thought.

Yours,


benji

Maybe because their Masters/Mistresses have asked them to speak that way. There could be many reasons why they type/talk this way.

_____________________________





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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 4:54:11 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

The third person speak thing makes me wonder if those people know that they're speaking of themselves.  Maybe they're not sure they exist.

Just a thought.

Yours,


benji

Third person speech can be dependant on where a person comes from.  (Just as a side note)
 
But, I would also state in response that I know exactly who and what I am and that I very much exist.  If and when  I use third person speech, it is because it allows me to reach a certain headspace and is no different to using bondage, namecalling or any other tool.
 
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 4:57:40 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		benji thinks he was making a joke in the last post.  He knows it can have reasons, he just decided to make fun of it, as it had not been on his "to be made fun of" list for a while.

He thinks, therefore, he is.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 4:59:45 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

benji thinks he was making a joke in the last post.  He knows it can have reasons, he just decided to make fun of it, as it had not been on his "to be made fun of" list for a while.

He thinks, therefore, he is.

Yours,


benji

I know... ... I just wanted to respond to the statement/question is all.
 
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 5:02:31 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		Perhaps Benji is not as funny as he seems to think he is. But that is only my opinion. I dont speak in third party form, but I certainly wouldnt make fun of those who do.

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 5:07:43 PM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I think everybody knows benji loves to tease and play. Only my opinion; often he adds much needed levity where folks are getting too serious and lifts many spirits here on the boards. He is also a very intelligent young man.

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 6/1/2006 5:08:27 PM >

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Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 5:08:56 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

Perhaps Benji is not as funny as he seems to think he is.



Not perhaps, definitely.  I believe I am the funniest person ever.  You obviously do not. 

I make fun of almost anything, including myself.  Why?  Because I like to make, and have, fun.  I could stand around and wax philosophical about the general BDSM population and their self awareness, or I can make stupid comments.  I choose the latter.  See how people are different?

In all honesty, I would love to try out 3rd person speak one day.  That doesn't mean I can't make jokes about it, just as I can make jokes about wanting to be beaten, tied up, smacked with rolled up newspapers, and neutered.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 5:10:00 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
I believe that self awareness comes from also being able to laugh and smile at our own eccentricities and preferences, as well as responding positively whilst trying to inform at the same time.  That ability, that gift, isn't something unique to people inside of wiitwd, but more a personal realisation.
But that is my own personal opinion.
 
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 5:11:27 PM   
genvieve


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline 		-smiles as i listen to the threads-

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 5:16:05 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

I think everybody knows benji loves to tease and play. Only my opinion; often he adds much needed levity where folks are getting too serious and lifts many spirits here on the boards. He is also a very intelligent young man.


Agreed.

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 9:00:46 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		He definately has a whip crack for wits.  Always sharp.

_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 9:03:47 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn

He definately has a whip crack for wits.  Always sharp.


I had to read that sentence twice and I'm not saying what I thought it said the first time I read it. Suffice to say that I voted benji the Royal Court Jester and I think it's a title well deserved.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 10:51:21 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Well, that IS why I put it the way I did... Nothing like a play on words that doesn't actually exist to make the mind skip a gear or two... LOL

_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 10:55:11 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I'm menopausal, Dustyn.. don't even begin to assume my brain is functioning at full capacity. ::laughs:: Skipping gears is what I do best these days!



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 11:19:17 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Benji, you can make fun of my self-important ass anytime you like..smiles

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/1/2006 11:56:32 PM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

This came to mind while reading another thread: so many people with a kink seem to be at peace with themselves.  Are the kink community more self-aware than the wider community?

Based on my limited observations, it seems to me that we're more accepting of ourselves, we're happier about our desires and we know how we want to live our lives.

Is there less angst in kink than in vanilla?


a) in general yes - bell curve.
b) (paragraph not question) - more accepting of ourselves sure - more accepting of other peoples 'thing' mmmm debateable [sic? speeelling countz]
c) more than enough angst to go around in all walks of life (sadly).

D (owner of j).

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 12:55:35 AM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		This site Collarme has made me more self aware. I dated a sub lady 15 years ago for a year. I  rarely discussed it with anyone, because if I did they laugh like it was a joke and I took it serious. I have filled in the missing blanks from the forums and chatting with people on this site that I never understood. I always seeked this lifestyle and I had no resources to continue in it, I would see newspaper classified ads then but there was always a big age or distance difference to even bother responding. Plus I was uneducated and did not know what BDSM or anything meant then. I just knew I was involved in something that was not ordinary but it was a incredible intense experience. My two long term lovers after the sub lady where vanilla and I waited too long to ask them if they wanted to get kinky and of course they did not and got bent out of shape. From this site I have evaluated myself as a person with past experience that has a current interest. I have had a lite BDSM relationship as of recently and it felt natural like I belonged there. I am currently single and the way I want to get back into it is the way I got into it. I do not want to be Super Demanding Dom with big expectations of my sub lady. I want to know what my sub lady is exactly seeking. I feel it is about the lady, any guy that is not a creep wants to please his lady and communicating to where you want to go and not doing what you dont want gets you to where you want to go faster. Wow I hope I did not bore you I made this post too dam long lol.

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 60
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