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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 2:04:23 AM   
Dustyn


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I'm menopausal, Dustyn.. don't even begin to assume my brain is functioning at full capacity. ::laughs:: Skipping gears is what I do best these days!




Hey, at least you have a good reason to... Mine is just cerebral trauma from a childhood accident. *shrug*


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Can you be more amusing?

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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 2:10:47 AM   
Tikkiee


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quote:

Are the kink community more self-aware than the wider community?

No.
 
quote:

Based on my limited observations, it seems to me that we're more accepting of ourselves, we're happier about our desires and we know how we want to live our lives.

The key word here is 'your limited observations', which are obviously only geared towards that of the 'kinky world'. Look around you at EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE; we are no more accepting, no more happier, and no more settled in our own little lives than any other person is.
 
quote:

Is there less angst in kink than in vanilla?

Once again, no.
 
 

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(in reply to becca333)
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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 7:01:06 AM   
becca333


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

quote:

Based on my limited observations, it seems to me that we're more accepting of ourselves, we're happier about our desires and we know how we want to live our lives.

The key word here is 'your limited observations', which are obviously only geared towards that of the 'kinky world'. Look around you at EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE; we are no more accepting, no more happier, and no more settled in our own little lives than any other person is. 
 



My limited observations are of the kink world.

I've had several Doms, and have friends who've helped me find my way, but I haven't been part of the wider scene.  Apparently the Doms I've met are not representative of the community as a whole - they've been well grounded, wonderfully kind and caring, they knew what I needed and helped me progress to the level that's right for me.  And they were, each in their own way, very much at peace with themselves and their desires.  That's what I based my theories on.  Since I haven't yet mingled with the wider BDSM community (still trying to get up the courage, and find the opportunity), I've obviously missed the more angst-ridden sectors.  But I thank the more experienced members here for helping me realise that. (And making me grateful yet again - I've been very fortunate).

My observations and experience in the real world are far less limited.  I know just how troubled and confused people can be - a lot of the vanillas with whom I've interacted seemed somehow less focussed and sure of themselves.

I was speculating that a certain kind of self-awareness based on BDSM experiences was the reason for the difference.  But apparently that's not so.

Back to the drawing board.....

(in reply to Tikkiee)
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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 7:14:57 AM   
gooddogbenji


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Well, I am honoured.  Martinis at my place for anyone who worships the ground I walk on. 

The rest of you can fu.......  I mean, politely decline to attend.

Yours,


benji

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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 11:26:52 AM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
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quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

This came to mind while reading another thread: so many people with a kink seem to be at peace with themselves.  Are the kink community more self-aware than the wider community?

Based on my limited observations, it seems to me that we're more accepting of ourselves, we're happier about our desires and we know how we want to live our lives.

Is there less angst in kink than in vanilla?


Pardon me, but wtf board are you reading?  This one is riddled with drama, flames, cliques, etc.  Self-aware P/pl don't need to behave that way.  Why do you think W/we need so many Mods?
 
pinkee

< Message edited by pinkee -- 6/2/2006 11:29:24 AM >

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 11:46:21 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

This came to mind while reading another thread: so many people with a kink seem to be at peace with themselves.  Are the kink community more self-aware than the wider community?

Based on my limited observations, it seems to me that we're more accepting of ourselves, we're happier about our desires and we know how we want to live our lives.

Is there less angst in kink than in vanilla?


Pardon me, but wtf board are you reading?  This one is riddled with drama, flames, cliques, etc.  Self-aware P/pl don't need to behave that way.  Why do you think W/we need so many Mods?
 
pinkee



Good lord!  Perhaps we have TWO who are menopausal?  You talk in the same manner of the people you bash!  Please...  <winces at more than that color>

(in reply to pinkee)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 12:15:29 PM   
Suleiman


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Is there less angst in kink? Not if you consider my immediate circle of friends. I have known angst-ridden fetishists, and well adjusted vanilla-heads. I have known self-proclaimed dominants who were lying to themselves, and self-proclaimed submissives who were simply afraid to take up the whip for themselves. I have known dykes who refused to admit that they occasionally bang men, and I have known guys who refuse to admit that they like the feel of a big strong manly man heaving and bucking under them, their wide shoulders writhing...

...ahem. Sorry, it's been a while...

S/M has a spiritual component, and most cliques are fairly accepting of self-realization. Under the forced catharsis of BDSM play, it becomes possible to experience an emotional breakthrough, while surrounded with a community of friends who will support you when you need it. As such, I will concede that it is easier to attain self-awareness as part of being a kinkster, but humans are queer, stubborn creatures, who frequently ignore their own self-enlightenment in order to continue with prior patterns of self-destructive behavior.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

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Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 12:18:52 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

My limited observations are of the kink world.

I've had several Doms, and have friends who've helped me find my way, but I haven't been part of the wider scene.  Apparently the Doms I've met are not representative of the community as a whole - they've been well grounded, wonderfully kind and caring, they knew what I needed and helped me progress to the level that's right for me.  And they were, each in their own way, very much at peace with themselves and their desires.  That's what I based my theories on.  Since I haven't yet mingled with the wider BDSM community (still trying to get up the courage, and find the opportunity), I've obviously missed the more angst-ridden sectors.  But I thank the more experienced members here for helping me realise that. (And making me grateful yet again - I've been very fortunate).

My observations and experience in the real world are far less limited.  I know just how troubled and confused people can be - a lot of the vanillas with whom I've interacted seemed somehow less focussed and sure of themselves.

I was speculating that a certain kind of self-awareness based on BDSM experiences was the reason for the difference.  But apparently that's not so.

Back to the drawing board.....

/sigh
 
I do apologize. I did come off sounding a bit of a bitch. I meant no offense

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 12:51:46 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman

S/M has a spiritual component, and most cliques are fairly accepting of self-realization. Under the forced catharsis of BDSM play, it becomes possible to experience an emotional breakthrough, while surrounded with a community of friends who will support you when you need it. As such, I will concede that it is easier to attain self-awareness as part of being a kinkster, but humans are queer, stubborn creatures, who frequently ignore their own self-enlightenment in order to continue with prior patterns of self-destructive behavior.



I think this is what I was thinking, except I would have said it more like this -

"Ummmmm....  like, we're kinda like more self aware, but not really."

So let's stick with Suleiman's wording.

Yours,


benji

< Message edited by gooddogbenji -- 6/2/2006 12:58:15 PM >


_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 2:42:29 PM   
Bearlee


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From: South Central CO
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I don't think you sounded like a bitch.  We're just chatting here...we all have different opinions and excperiences.  What is a discussion without discussion?  Personally, I prefer it without cursing and bitching about flaming WHILE flaming; but maybe that's just me. 

I think you did just fine... and becca, too!  Hey, it's all good!!!  Well...maybe not all of it... <winces again at that COLOR!!!>

(in reply to Tikkiee)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 2:44:57 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
Humans are queer???   OMG   <giggles wildly> 

Oh my, Suleiman, I'm gonna like you!  ...lovely post!  Thank you!!!

(in reply to Suleiman)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 3:47:05 PM   
KnightofMists


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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

This came to mind while reading another thread: so many people with a kink seem to be at peace with themselves.  Are the kink community more self-aware than the wider community?


No.... Unless you make the arguement that we are all Kinky.  If we are... then obviously those that actually seek to fulfill their kinky desires are showing a greater sense of awareness of themselves.  However, I don't believe that we are all kinky.

Self-Awareness... is subject specific!  so what is the subject... Sexual Passions, Religious Beliefs, Intellectual Knowledge.etc etc ?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 4:03:44 PM   
LaTigresse


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I think that self awareness comes with either having to face our issues or a strong desire to grow as a human being. I have seen alot of non-kinky people that are well on a path to becoming more self aware. I do think that having a desire for a lifestyle that is not the" accepted norm" can certainly help drive you along that path. That being said I am sure we have all seen quite a few people that are involved in what can be determined as kink that need ALOT more bulbs to brighten their road.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 4:15:36 PM   
KnightofMists


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aaaaaaawww so the subject is our selves *w*   The journey of knowing ourselves.  Our Motivations of action or inaction.  Why do we do what we do.....  Seeking this understanding within ourselves... within others..  within what we do. 

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 4:21:28 PM   
LaTigresse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

aaaaaaawww so the subject is our selves *w*   The journey of knowing ourselves.  Our Motivations of action or inaction.  Why do we do what we do.....  Seeking this understanding within ourselves... within others..  within what we do. 


With laughter and shrugging of shoulders.......who knows, I just saw it and interpreted it in my own, quite often warped, way!

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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/2/2006 4:31:27 PM   
Sinergy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

Are the kink community more self-aware than the wider community?


Hello A/all,

Allow me to misconjugage Latin.

Cogito cogito, erego cogito sum.

(I think I think therefore I think I am.)

The problem I have with this thread is that we tend to hear about vanilla (or otherwise) people who are not happy with their lives and content to go about their daily business without complaint or comment. 

It is entirely possible that some of us are happier than the average person, but I imagine quite a few of us are not happier.

Just me, could be wrong, yadda yadda yadda.

Sinergy

_____________________________

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David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


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RE: Are we more self-aware? - 6/3/2006 2:12:47 PM   
ImpGrrl


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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

This came to mind while reading another thread: so many people with a kink seem to be at peace with themselves.  Are the kink community more self-aware than the wider community?

Based on my limited observations, it seems to me that we're more accepting of ourselves, we're happier about our desires and we know how we want to live our lives.

Is there less angst in kink than in vanilla?


No.

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 77
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