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RE: Pet play - 1/31/2012 2:03:06 PM

Jaquin

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FR

Isn't it wonderful that in a community that is supposedly here to be open and helpful towards other peoples kinks we can't help but jump on top of this guy and bash him simply because oral sex is involved in the ideas he has so far?

What's so bad about oral sex, giving or receiving, that even us kinksters frown upon it being in a setup?

I know, he came here for advice - and everyone can defend themselves saying "We're just giving advice, which is what he wanted." but so far the kind of stuff that is being said is more akin to "We're making assumptions on the dynamic formed between two people in their private lives and attacking someone based upon the small window he has given us into this dynamic."

People seem to think that giving oral was his idea and that that's why he's helping, or that he coerced her into agreeing to it. Is it such an impossible thing to accept that perhaps he's telling the truth and that it's her that offered oral sex? Is it such an inane concept to even kinksters that a woman would want to give oral?

It's great that people can give advice like "You should go out and meet other people" that's advice, great.. but by the very nature of advice they don't have to act upon it and their choice whether or not to act upon it is theirs and theirs alone. Lambasting the guy because he understands that she doesn't want to go meet people just yet is hardly a good light to shine on yourselves.

Oh sure, throw around the "Well he's just saying that, she probably doesn't know what we've given as advice." type of comments but the fact remains. We do not know the full extent of the dynamic between these two people, and judging them so crassly based upon the information they have offered up (who here tells all about their life to strangers on an internet forum? hmm?) only goes to show that we're not as "Open and accepting" as we claim to be.

Trust, the building block, the foundation of our lives - trust in strangers, in friends, in our Dominant, or our submissive, trust that they do as they say and say as they do.

Trust that he knows more about this girl, and the relationship that exists between them, then we do.

Edit: Fixed my grammar some.

< Message edited by Jaquin -- 1/31/2012 2:04:46 PM >

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RE: Pet play - 1/31/2012 2:15:40 PM

wolf223

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Joined: 3/4/2011
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Having read this and other threads from people seeking advise.
This would be the VERY LAST place I would come.
While there are some who are helpful the snark attacks spoil the
overall affect.

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Post #: 42

RE: Pet play - 1/31/2012 2:40:52 PM

NocturnalStalker

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quote:

People seem to think that giving oral was his idea

But it was. He even said it in his original post. Hell, his original post even alluded to him pressuring her to adopting a kink she may very well not like at all.

quote:

but by the very nature of advice they don't have to act upon it and their choice whether or not to act upon it is theirs and theirs alone

Then that defeats the entire purpose of asking for neutral opinion, now doesn't it? He has received advice that relates to "pet play" and advice that sees between the lines here. If he did not want his personal matters being brought up, he could have easily composed a vague introduction that only wished to know of the kink.

quote:

only goes to show that we're not as "Open and accepting" as we claim to be.

Who in the holy high Hell spoke for me on this matter? Look, Dorothy, we're not all mystical and people-pleasing dorks that claim to hold no prejudice or stereotype and love everybody and everything. A lot of us have our own viewpoints and thoughts that do not fit in with another person's.

quote:

Trust that he knows more about this girl, and the relationship that exists between them, then we do.

I'm going to "trust" my past experiences that he is no better than any person on the "other side" that composes a profile simply to get their rocks off. Only while those people search, he has found a gullible humanoid.

Give me a break.

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Post #: 43

RE: Pet play - 1/31/2012 2:51:57 PM

LadyPact

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No, we don't know. You have your guess and I have Mine.

Please do correct yourself though. I have never said that I am 'open and accepting' for any and every action that a person partakes in just because they happen to be kinky. I do happen to think the OP is taking advantage of the situation. I'm sorry that you don't like it, but deciding to become sanctimonious isn't going to change it.

Did you read the original? Here's the part that shows who's idea it was:

Besides that and her eating me out I don't have anything else for her to do

In fact, the OP has not said once that giving head was her idea. Only that she liked giving oral.

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Post #: 44

RE: Pet play - 2/1/2012 6:42:44 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

Anyways for the pet play thing I've got ideas like her lapping milk like a cat(she wants to be a kitty), walking around on all fours, and speech restriction(can only meow).

I perved your profile to see where you live. Too bad you're not closer - there are a bunch of pet play workshops at the New England Leather Alliance Fetish Fair Fleamarket Feb 10-12

But you did get some good advice on this thread and you can also check Fetlife for groups on the subject.

(Note - it's best not to engage nonconstructive Negative Nellies unless you feel like playing with them. Do engage the positive posters and you'll have a positive thread.)

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Post #: 45

RE: Pet play - 2/1/2012 6:58:59 AM

fucktoyprincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

pet play generally is NOT about humiliation. it is more along the lines of 'littles'. A safe space.

Yes, this.

I enjoy this type of play a lot. Think about the typical relationship between a dog and its owner (I love dogs so I think of this play in terms of dogs much more than cats). A dog is loving, generous, obedient, loyal. And the owner is also loving and takes care of and looks after the dog. There is a give and take to the relationship that is part friendship, but with a slight Dominant/submissive angle. Add to this the fact that, larger dogs, in particular, can actually kill a human. In other words, the submission is actually an animal that has tremendous power sort of choosing to submit to a species it could easily kill if it chose to. Talk about power exchange. This has nothing to do with humiliation, in my mind. It also has nothing to do with bestiality (at least the way I've engaged in it with Dominants). Maybe some people are into this for the humiliation/bestiality aspects, but, um, no thanks not for me.

As for play, there are all the obvious things - collar/leash, eating/drinking out of the pet food bowl, walking on all fours, being petted/stroked, sitting like a pet (at the Dominant's feet, for example) while watching television or such, being caged. But yes, eventually you will likely run out of things to do (I mean think about the relationship between a real Dog and its owner - it is very deep, but the types of interactions, are, at the end of the day, limited - and some things, like playing fetch, are not really physically possible!)

To me this is more about creating a submissive mindset. And it can be very powerful for both the Dominant and the submissive.

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Post #: 46

RE: Pet play - 2/1/2012 7:03:28 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

To me this is more about creating a submissive mindset. And it can be very powerful for both the Dominant and the submissive.

I'm not into pony play for its own sake but I did enjoy being a good pony for a Dom who enjoyed it. It did facilitate a submissive mindset.

After he was done putting me through my paces, we would switch into bondage, beat, sex.

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RE: Pet play - 2/1/2012 8:56:35 AM

DesFIP

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Let's just hope she insists on using a dental dam. Since this isn't a fluid bonded relationship.

Personally I wouldn't blow a guy just because we were friendly. But then, I don't do casual. However, lots of people do. Her call.

The op would appear more honorable and trustworthy if he had said to her, "this is a site where people can tell you more about pet play because I don't know anything about it". Unfortunately he deliberately chose not to send her to learn about it, but to keep her in the dark. And that by itself shows that his interest is not in helping her but in using her.

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Post #: 48