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RE: Rant? - 2/1/2012 6:19:54 PM

ashjor911

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1- go to canada,
2- apply for citizenship,
3- send me a visa will ya,

4- will do babysitting

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RE: Rant? - 2/1/2012 8:18:29 PM

DesFIP

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Lying to your kids about what a great guy he is isn't helping them at all. If he's lying on his taxes, then contact the IRS. Let his uncle or whoever deal with Uncle Sam.

Be honest with your children that he gives no money to take care of them and that he's trying to steal it from you and the government because he's an addict and this is what addicts do. Maybe it will help them avoid using in the future.

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Post #: 22

RE: Rant? - 2/1/2012 8:28:43 PM

xssve

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quote:

I had a job offer in Colorado. Very nice one at that. I was willing to allow for full summer visits and to pay for the flight here and back. I was going to also allow for video conferencing, as well as arranged trips during the fall and spring months, pending weather, for like a week each time..and I would as well pay for those. The judge said no fuck that. You get to stay here, where there are no jobs, and the cost of living is like double to double and a half of what the average rate of pay is. His exact words to me were that I had no business moving out west, as I had no family there. As the statute reads, I can move anywhere I damned well please- as long as I have work, school or mitigating circumstances. I had home placement, I would have been making like 75k a year. I was 32. I mean for real? 75k a year for 32 is like Unheard of. I know 70 year olds that have never seen the inside of 35k real good.

Why did you even ask the judge? Shoulda pulled chocks right then and there, send 'em a postcard.

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Post #: 23

RE: Rant? - 2/1/2012 8:46:46 PM

xXLithiumXx

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The way the statute reads in Kentucky, you have to notify the other parent, and give them a chance to rebut your move.

It states that you can move-with in the state- as long as it is with in a 50 mile radius, and not have to notify the court.

At least that is my understanding of it.

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RE: Rant? - 2/1/2012 8:54:51 PM

xXLithiumXx

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I don't mean to give the impression that I tell them he is super awesome dad.

There is a very solid reason that he hasn't seen the 16 year old in 4 years. That was by -her- choice.

The youngest is starting to see that his dad isn't what he claims to be, but I let them make that call on their own. I listen when they express concern or upset, and I try to give solid advice that is honest, but age appropriate, and that teaches them to see all sides of the argument. We reason it out together, and I let them decide on their own how they feel about the issue.

I just don't lead them or bash him in front of them.

We talk about reasons that their dad would behave the way that he does, and they know that he has the issues he has. But, I have tried for all I have to be solid and only listen and give comfort and support.

The issues have been taken to the judge...you are going to love this...when he was required to take piss tests for a criminal charge, he failed a urine test, but then less than 30 days later, passed a hair test. His lawyer said it was because he was on medication that was prescribed to him, but no evidence to support that statement was ever brought forward nor was it required by the court.

Welcome to redneck hell.

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RE: Rant? - 2/1/2012 8:56:39 PM

xssve

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Bummer, sounds like a sticky situation, the ol' boy politics in small towns makes even DC look like a nunnery.

quote:

Now...I have read the tax thing..and it does say that usually the non custodial parent cant take credits and deductions for the kids...I can't email him to tell him he is in fact a total douche for threatening me...But the rant comes in to this-

No, I'd talk to a tax attorney or a CPA first, but I believe it's tax fraud if he claims them.

They really did a proctology exam on me when I claimed my kids.

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RE: Rant? - 2/1/2012 9:17:37 PM

GreedyTop

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*hugs Lithi*

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RE: Rant? - 2/1/2012 10:11:33 PM

xXLithiumXx

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See, I have let him claim them, and then I have claimed them. I try to be as cool as I can when it comes to this, just because of the fact that I know it helps when the 'rents can get along.

It takes a great deal of stress off the kids.

Not only that, but it just makes life easier if the parents can get along.

I am going to talk to the IRS tomorrow and see what is up. There is an office right up the street from my house, and I want to see what the issue with them is, or what I need to do, because when I looked at the return, I only got the exemption for one child, so I do not really understand what is going on, or why he is so livid. It has always been this way.

Personally, and I keep saying this; This guy is an abuser. Period. I was with him for 8 years, and while I didn't realize most of what he was doing was psychological abuse at the time, I very quickly picked up on the physical and eventually the emotional became clear. (I have three brothers, between them and the 11 male cousins..and me being the only girl...he only got physical once or twice...something about a yard full of bikers explaining how you just don't mess with little sister seemed to help.)

Once I realized -why- he was being the way he was, I put him out of the house. The end was messy. Very messy.

But it ended just the same.

I think, over the years I have gotten tougher, I stopped taking his shit. At first, I was scared to death. Every time I walked into that court room, I walked in alone, and every time I walked out, I gained a bit more strength. ...I finally got sick of it and stopped being cool. I think I am a text book example of what happens when you stop taking a bully's shit. I feel like this is his "dying strains", his last ditch effort to complicate my life. How I handle this somehow seems elemental to me.

I know that tomorrow morning I will get up, I will go get my documents together, and I will go to the court house and see what they have to say. I know that when I get done with that, I will try and talk to several lawyers to see what is going on and to see what I can do about his rights.

I spent sometime digging in the net tonight, finding him wasn't that hard.

I am not a fan of Zuckerberg's position on sharing private information...but...this time...I am grateful.

Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

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RE: Rant? - 2/1/2012 10:36:45 PM

Duskypearls

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Lithi dear, not only STOP taking his shit, but STOP with the overcomittment to being kind, even and fair to him. Parasites will NEVER appreciate it, nor return the favor. STOP offering to pay to make it easier for him to see/be with the kids. STOP enabling him. Your "enough" has been too much!

And BTW, make sure you've a tape recorder and cell phone to take pics at all times, so if/when you encounter him, you can get on record any and all unruly/untoward behavior on his part.

< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 2/1/2012 10:38:58 PM >

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RE: Rant? - 2/1/2012 11:58:54 PM

Rule

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls
make sure you've a tape recorder and cell phone to take pics at all times

If I recall correctly, such is admissible as evidence in some states only when the person concerned was made aware that what he says is going to be recorded.

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RE: Rant? - 2/2/2012 12:20:29 AM

GreedyTop

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I think cellphone video can be admissible. Seems to me that there have been some viral vids that have helped in prosecutions (something about a kid getting beaten by Oaklnd cops on the railway, I think?)

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RE: Rant? - 2/2/2012 4:21:24 AM

xxblushesxx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls
make sure you've a tape recorder and cell phone to take pics at all times

If I recall correctly, such is admissible as evidence in some states only when the person concerned was made aware that what he says is going to be recorded.

KY is a one party state. She doesn't need to tell him anything.

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RE: Rant? - 2/2/2012 4:22:40 AM

xxblushesxx

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Moving far away is risky. If you're sure he won't be able to track you down, and doesn't have the money to fight it, it may work for you.
But if he finds you and has (or is given) the money to fight it, you may be looking at him getting full custody.

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RE: Rant? - 2/2/2012 5:11:58 AM

Exidor

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> Lithi dear, not only STOP taking his shit, but STOP with the overcomittment
> to being kind, even and fair to him. Parasites will NEVER appreciate it, nor
> return the favor. STOP offering to pay to make it easier for him to see/be
> with the kids. STOP enabling him. Your "enough" has been too much!

Duskypearls nailed it.

Print it out and put it on your refrigerator. They are words to live by.

Do a favor for a user, and they remember you as an easy mark, not as someone who helped them out. They don't see the world like normal people. That's why they're users.

When your kids are old enough, he'll start using *them*. It *will* happen if they're close enough for him to reach.

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RE: Rant? - 2/2/2012 6:01:44 AM

xxblushesxx

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^ ^ I agree, both with Dusky and Exidor.
Plus, the money you get from the IRS benefits your kids, the money he gets does not.
Instead of looking at it as being selfish, look at it as giving more to your children. : )

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RE: Rant? - 2/2/2012 6:19:49 AM

xXLithiumXx

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Guys, I just wanna tell you...

Thank you...seriously...all of the support, the ideas, and the encouragement means so much.

For so long I have felt like last man standing. This has been going on for 7 years now. My soul is tired, and I am just ready to scream. But I will never-ever- give up. That is not an option.

There is so much of the story that is not here, so much I can not tell because I have to protect certain things from coming out in totality.

I am about to go down to the court house and talk to them about my options.

I just want you to know that while I get ready to do battle-for the last time, I hope- I am carrying your strength with me, because I was beginning to think I didn't have any left.

I wish I could hug all of you..

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RE: Rant? - 2/2/2012 6:28:00 AM

Rule

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I send you strength.

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RE: Rant? - 2/2/2012 6:31:24 AM

xxblushesxx

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You know where I live. You can come hug me!

ETA: I use a Blackberry so don't expect any funny stuff.

< Message edited by xxblushesxx -- 2/2/2012 6:32:08 AM >

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RE: Rant? - 2/2/2012 6:40:56 AM

poise

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I'm sorry you are going through such turmoil, Lithi, and hope you can find a way to end it.
For tax purposes, the sperm donor can not LEGALLY claim any of the children as his dependents
without you signing over an official release for each tax year you are giving up the exemption.
(Form 8332)

There may be delays in your refund, or changes to his, when IRS cross checks social security
numbers from previous years returns. Visiting the local IRS office is the right step in clearing this up.
Best of luck to you. Keep your head up!

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RE: Rant? - 2/2/2012 6:55:05 AM

Duskypearls

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls
make sure you've a tape recorder and cell phone to take pics at all times

If I recall correctly, such is admissible as evidence in some states only when the person concerned was made aware that what he says is going to be recorded.