RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (Full Version)

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NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 5:19:32 AM)

OP,

I think what you're upset about is, the submissives here aren't submitting to YOU. Guess what. They don't HAVE to. First you have to treat her like a human being and a woman, unique in her own way. Then you need to see if you click with each other, find out what each of you are looking for in a dynamic and do some negotiating. It's NOT as easy as "Me Dom, you submissive, so on your knees bitch now." No, you have to work at it. Plus, your profile stinks. It's negative all the way. Get rid of the negativity and make it more positive. Also elaborate on what YOU bring to the table and then, when you get correspondence from the ladies, get the time to know each of them as unique people first BEFORE expecting any of them to submit to you.

NBMG




xssve -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 6:15:29 AM)

Yeah, it's not like ordering a Pizza.




kalikshama -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 7:24:54 AM)

OP - your current profile is worse than having no essay at all. Focus on what you want to attract and what you offer, not what pisses you off, which is very unattractive to read.




kalikshama -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 7:29:36 AM)

quote:

Original: Arturas

Here, the forum seems to do something strange to some of them, they somehow spend most of their time here meeting nobody close to them and then get snarky for it and then meet nobody close to them some more as time goes on and get even more snarky and, well, you see this does not end well.


Every time you put forth this theory, forum members, me included, tell you this is not true yet you persist in repeating this, which is really annoying.

For the record, I've met 12 men from this site who were local to me, submitted to some of them, and am now living with a man to whom I submit.







Lockit -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 7:44:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: brder

Lizi - no, I just find that many submissives here want a "Master" who does everything for them...sometimes when I ask them up front and sometimes it comes out later after they 'commit'


Hummm... Unless you have had another profile and came to hide behind this one, you have been on this site for a matter of a few days and you have had some commit in that time? If you are concerned with the integrity of the submissives and their submission, maybe you might consider having a bit of your own. Does a real dom hide behind a nickname to come and ask a question, complain or point something out? Why hide? You have either hidden who you are on another profile for which you made these commitments with these greedy little sucker submissives or you have been committing to something within hours, multiple times if your words here have any truth to them.

I call bullshit on the mighty dom-like persona, calling bull shit on those greedy princess type submissives.




DarkSteven -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 8:12:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Here, the forum seems to do something strange to some of them, they somehow spend most of their time here meeting nobody close to them and then get snarky for it and then meet nobody close to them some more as time goes on and get even more snarky and, well, you see this does not end well.


Every time you put forth this theory, forum members, me included, tell you this is not true yet you persist in repeating this, which is really annoying.

For the record, I've met 12 men from this site who were local to me, submitted to some of them, and am now living with a man to whom I submit.


Lemme chime in.

For obvious reasons, I should mention DarkStevensGirl.  She chose to make a profile here after seeing the time I spend on cm. 

I've met two women from the site who ended up relocating to Colorado.  One stayed with me six months.  One was not that compatible romantically, but both are still friends with me, and the less-compatible one is renting a room from me.

I've met, platonically at a party, Greedy, Lusciouslips, MoGa, outhere69, hejira, KneelforAnne, and some others that have since faded from the site.

CusterLots and evalstnatculer were over at a BBQ last year.  I've met switch2please and slavegyrl71 just to meet them and say hi.  I've met bbwsub4olderdom, DominicsJoy, and several other folks at the Longmont munch and said hi.  Unfortunately, I have never been there when OtterSwim and SthrnComfort have attended - I'd love to meet them.  I've met SirSnake, BelovedRiver, SilverMegan, kinkykittyplaykat, AMurderofCrows, and a bunch more at local play parties.

I've met one woman who lives two hours away for a couple of play sessions.

I've met DuskyPearls and she's attended a few parties with myself and my sub.

That's NOT COUNTING the people that I've talked to over the phone and emailed with but not met in person, and the people that I've exchanged CM PMs with. 





poise -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 8:25:13 AM)

Let's pretend we are talking about vegetarians instead of submissive women.
Would you expect everyone that you dangle a carrot in front of to want to take a bite?
You have to inspire the hunger, and be the sustenance she needs.
Until then, you're just a carrot.




NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 8:25:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Unless you have had another profile and came to hide behind this one, you have been on this site for a matter of a few days and you have had some commit in that time? If you are concerned with the integrity of the submissives and their submission, maybe you might consider having a bit of your own. Does a real dom hide behind a nickname to come and ask a question, complain or point something out? Why hide? You have either hidden who you are on another profile for which you made these commitments with these greedy little sucker submissives or you have been committing to something within hours, multiple times if your words here have any truth to them.

I call bullshit on the mighty dom-like persona, calling bull shit on those greedy princess type submissives.

Oh crap! You're right. How did I miss that the OP's profile is only 5 days old!? I don't see how he could have accumulated that much experience in 5 days to make generalizations about a whole group of people, plus "commit" to one or more of them in that time. Either he's lying outright or he's made a sock profile to hide behind, which is also kind of lying.

NBMG




Duskypearls -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 8:30:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Let's pretend we are talking about vegetarians instead of submissive women.
Would you expect everyone that you dangle a carrot in front of to want to take a bite?
You have to inspire the hunger, and be the sustenance she needs.
Until then, you're just a carrot.


Well said, my dear! Great analogy.




Duskypearls -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 8:32:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Here, the forum seems to do something strange to some of them, they somehow spend most of their time here meeting nobody close to them and then get snarky for it and then meet nobody close to them some more as time goes on and get even more snarky and, well, you see this does not end well.


Every time you put forth this theory, forum members, me included, tell you this is not true yet you persist in repeating this, which is really annoying.

For the record, I've met 12 men from this site who were local to me, submitted to some of them, and am now living with a man to whom I submit.


Lemme chime in.

For obvious reasons, I should mention DarkStevensGirl.  She chose to make a profile here after seeing the time I spend on cm. 

I've met two women from the site who ended up relocating to Colorado.  One stayed with me six months.  One was not that compatible romantically, but both are still friends with me, and the less-compatible one is renting a room from me.

I've met, platonically at a party, Greedy, Lusciouslips, MoGa, outhere69, hejira, KneelforAnne, and some others that have since faded from the site.

CusterLots and evalstnatculer were over at a BBQ last year.  I've met switch2please and slavegyrl71 just to meet them and say hi.  I've met bbwsub4olderdom, DominicsJoy, and several other folks at the Longmont munch and said hi.  Unfortunately, I have never been there when OtterSwim and SthrnComfort have attended - I'd love to meet them.  I've met SirSnake, BelovedRiver, SilverMegan, kinkykittyplaykat, AMurderofCrows, and a bunch more at local play parties.

I've met one woman who lives two hours away for a couple of play sessions.

I've met DuskyPearls and she's attended a few parties with myself and my sub.

That's NOT COUNTING the people that I've talked to over the phone and emailed with but not met in person, and the people that I've exchanged CM PMs with. 




My, you do get around, my friend. See ya Fri. night, weather willing.




DominantHunger -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 8:40:39 AM)

I want to second what DarkSteven is saying.

I have been on CM for ages. I have had countless CM message exchanges progress to the phone. A subset of those have progressed to meeting in person. A subset of those have progressed to play sessions. A subset (a very small subset at this point) of those progressed to some semblance of short term relationship. One of those became my wife.

I have encountered the subbie princess type the OP mentions who just wants to be a sexy little slut slave getting fucked and not lifting a finger around the house. I agree that these slut-princesses are completely unappealing for anything more than session play. Fortunately, CM has all types. Just move on to a sub who is your type.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 8:51:17 AM)

Le sigh. Steven has forgotten me. [&o]




Fornica -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 8:58:18 AM)

Was it cuz you didn't put out?




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 8:58:47 AM)

Probably!! [:D]




OsideGirl -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 9:01:00 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Original: Arturas

Here, the forum seems to do something strange to some of them, they somehow spend most of their time here meeting nobody close to them and then get snarky for it and then meet nobody close to them some more as time goes on and get even more snarky and, well, you see this does not end well.


Every time you put forth this theory, forum members, me included, tell you this is not true yet you persist in repeating this, which is really annoying.

For the record, I've met 12 men from this site who were local to me, submitted to some of them, and am now living with a man to whom I submit.






Yup, and I've been happily involved and married to Master for almost 12 years.




Lockit -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 9:34:16 AM)

Since when do we consider meeting, playing with, dominating or submitting to those we meet, a validation of character, willingness, submissiveness, dominantness, or anything? I can see wanting to invalidate a statement made by one who can barely validate himself in any manner most of us would respect, but really, no one has to prove anything here.

It doesn't matter how many we meet, dom or serve or whether some cock and bull someone thinks most of us are board strong and life weak... It matters what those in our lives think of us and how we conduct ourselves in general. On that note... I would consider the one accusing to be about as real in character, honor and general good mental and emotional health, by his conduct... to be about as valid as his accusations.




RedMagic1 -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 9:50:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Since when do we consider meeting, playing with, dominating or submitting to those we meet, a validation of character, willingness, submissiveness, dominantness, or anything?

It matters when people are asking how to meet someone on the kinky internet, and there have been a lot of posts about that lately.

We all know men and women in real life who are good people but who "have no game" when it comes to dating. Someone who has met a ton of people off CM "has game," but may or may not have character.

Also, there will be men and women who don't want to date someone who meets "too many" people off the net. There is an almost-official status of "professional online dater." Someone who never gets deep in his or her "relationships" because there are always more fish in the online sea. So that's at least one situation in which meeting lots of people off the net can be considered a character flaw.




fucktoyprincess -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 9:52:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantHunger
Fortunately, CM has all types. Just move on to a sub who is your type.


Well if I understand the OP correctly, his type is a submissive who wants NOTHING in return for giving him everything that he wants. I really challenge you to find a submissive/masochist/slave who is willing to enter into any kind of arrangement with someone for absolutely ZERO of their needs being met. If you find someone like that, I would be concerned for his/her state of mental health.

I don't dispute that different people have different approaches to D/s, and that the give and take can be different depending on that. But the OP's notion that D/s should be completely one-sided seems to me to be an immature understanding of what BDSM is. BDSM does NOT mean either party doing EVERYTHING for the other. That isn't a relationship at all. In any D/s relationship I've been in there has been a division of labor outside the bedroom, and then power exchange within the bedroom. But power exchange in the bedroom certainly, for me, does not translate into only the Dominant's physical and sexual needs get catered to, and ZERO of the submissive's physical and sexual needs get catered to. The way the OP has written his question seems to me to be coming from a very misguided place.

I would never stay with a Dominant who expected me to work outside the home, who did not work himself, expected me to pay all bills out of my money, cook and clean for him, raise the children, do all yard work, take care of his and my parents, make all social plan AND also submit to him in the bedroom with no expectation of an orgasm or pleasure-inducing pain. I mean, really? Surely the Dominant has to have some responsibilities within the relationship??? (I think every couple is free to determine how to strike the balance, but surely the OP's notion that a submissive should have ZERO expectations from the Dominant whatsoever is false).




DominantHunger -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 9:58:11 AM)

That's not what I got from his post at all. What I got from it was he didn't want a submissive who was insisting on indulging in having their fantasies played out for them while doing nothing in return for their Dom. Maybe the OP should clarify, but I believe you took the wrong message from his post.




searching4mysir -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/2/2012 10:05:30 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas


On submissives here on CM, they are very much so on "the other side". Here, the forum seems to do something strange to some of them, they somehow spend most of their time here meeting nobody close to them and then get snarky for it and then meet nobody close to them some more as time goes on and get even more snarky and, well, you see this does not end well. But the subs on the other side who are very submissive, even on the first meeting, all seem to have avoided the forums. I meant this in a good way "just saying" and am not trying to depress or put any submissive, spending time in the forums, down.


I am submissive to only one man, the man who owns me. I'm not searching anymore, and I haven't been for many months now.

Have I met many people from the forums? No, but then Master doesn't post here. I have met several of his kinky friends, though I have never played with them because I don't play casually and Master doesn't share me with anyone.

As to you not putting subs who post down, I call "bullshit". You do nothing BUT do that, Artie.




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