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fucktoyprincess -> RE: Are the submissives here really submissive? (2/6/2012 7:27:03 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: brder
for me a submissive having a career or not is not a problem as long as other work gets done by someone/somehow.
what I'm talking about is submissives who are not submissive, and that also goes for dominants as well who aren't dominant. This seems to be a growing problem maybe because people are too busy trying to stay alive due to worsening economy, have been burned too much and simply don't have time for d/s or bdsm or for relationships. Scary but current situation is making mindless robots out of everyone.
Life is always busy. But I do not think a busy life by both people prevents someone from having a D/s relationship. Again, I have to be honest, but you seem to have some definition of what a D/s relationship is that is very much centered around "the other work get[ting] done". That may be your definition and you are entitled to it, but not everyone operates with this definition. So, perhaps, YOU are not finding a submissive who fits the type of D/s relationship that you define, but this does not mean that submissives as a whole are "less" submissive than in years past.
I also really dispute this notion that two people having busy, productive lives somehow precludes a D/s relationship. I'm sorry, but this makes no sense to me. I think two people, of whatever gender, and whatever role each of them has chosen, can still have employment outside the home, and lead busy lives with children, etc., AND still have a successful D/s relationship. Where is it written that the submissive MUST stay at home in order for it to be called a successful D/s relationship. I think some D/s relationships fit that 50s household pattern (male Dominant who works outside the home, female submissive who stays home), but NOT all D/s relationships would necessarily fit this pattern, and that does not make the other D/s relationships any less valid.
For example, to cite the easy examples, male submissive, female Dominant relationships where both work outside the home; gay or lesbian relationships where household and childrearing tasks are obviously not divided by gender because both partners are the SAME gender; female submissive, male Dominant relationships where both must work outside the home in order to economically provide for their family (In the U.S., of working married women, 48% provide half or more of the household income -they are the primary bread winner; also over 60% of married women with young children work outside the home). Any of these couples I have described can have a very successful D/s relationship.
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