RE: A New Domme (Full Version)

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slvemike4u -> RE: A New Domme (3/26/2012 10:58:40 AM)

You know years ago I just quit,just decided that I hated this part of my self.
Hated it because I knew where it came from,or at least I thought I knew,who knows maybe I would have been a sub anyway...but that wasn't how I figured it
I figured I liked getting hit because of him,I figured I liked getting on my knees because of him....I figured vanilla sex was less than it should have been because of him.
So I stopped,completely...I denied that part of my nature and just tried to be "normal".
Anyone care to guess what I got out of that experience......unhappiness. Total unrelenting lack of any spark.....flatline.
So than I looked at it again,looked real hard and honestly came to the conclusion that I was just a little bent because of him,I didn't process things the way other people did because of him and the experience of growing up as his son.
But so what !
I was me,he was dead,I couldn't change me,I didn't get a reset because I didn't like the way I turned out.
Life isn't like that,I had one childhood and he was in it,and the things he did were in it....now I had to live my life....so I chose to live it the way I wanted to live it.
And that meant finding a Domme,yeah that meant finding someone to lay a flogger across my back,take a paddle to my ass......and once in awhile tell me I was a wothrless pice of shit slave.
Than hold me afterwards and tell me how much She cares about me,and how much my service means to Her
And that makes me happy...so fuck that old dead man,whether or not he had anything to with this is a moot point....I am who I am and I will live my life the way I want to live it
God that felt so good to type,so liberating to declare....sorry folks the rant is over and to LaTige I would like to say thank You for the well meaning advice,i know You had nothing but the best intentions meant.....but that dead bastard does not get to dictate my life anymore.



Lucylastic -> RE: A New Domme (3/26/2012 11:26:36 AM)

Mike, hugs you, Im going along with LadyHib, Lady P, LaT and Mynxcat.and abig raspberry to Blacksword. for one big reason.. I do not trust ANYONE that much within six months of meeting them, not even a year. With all that is happening, all that you are doing, with and for your Mistress, for me would be more than overwhelming. This is in no way a slight against your Mistress.but just my own personal feelings.
Im on vacation with my pet for another weeek and a bit,but he is working today so Im online:) so I have sent you an email:) Take care!!!



slvemike4u -> RE: A New Domme (3/28/2012 1:45:30 PM)

I think,though continuing to try to cut down we are going to remove cigarettes from under Her control.
Perhaps it was a mistake to involve Her in that in the first placee



Lucylastic -> RE: A New Domme (3/28/2012 2:10:57 PM)

I have to admit, when I quit, it was much  better for me to say to someone ...I havent had a fag for five days, six days etc than to admit when I made a slip up...Im proud of the accomplishment, rather than making apologies for the failures I had.
good luck sweetie!



mynxkat -> RE: A New Domme (3/28/2012 5:19:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: slvemike4u

I think,though continuing to try to cut down we are going to remove cigarettes from under Her control.
Perhaps it was a mistake to involve Her in that in the first placee


I wouldn't say a mistake entirely, but perhaps in how you went about it especially with lots of stressors popping up. Ask your Mistress if she would be willing to encourage you in your efforts, even if it's only at the level of 'you did great, sticking with your daily limits this week. I'm proud of you.' The little things can have a HUGE impact.



yourdarkdesire -> RE: A New Domme (3/29/2012 12:58:17 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

I havent had a fag for five days,



I've never had a fag - what was it like? Did you convert him??



Lucylastic -> RE: A New Domme (3/29/2012 3:07:35 AM)

35 years I was a user...was bad for my health and hellish expensive, but felt good sucking and inhaling........You cant convert Nick O Tine you can only kick him.....



slvemike4u -> RE: A New Domme (3/30/2012 4:52:53 PM)

This may be getting uber boring to most of you.If so,I apologize...but we seem to be back on track
Now if all of these gyrations are confusing you...well put yourself in my shoes....my head has been spinning for the last two months.
We did make a few changes,at my request She has removed Herself from my attempt to quit smoking.I'm not even sure if I am still trying,there have been some personal issues that have rocked me of late,family matters that have someone I love in some jeopardy...the timing just doesn't seem right(though that is probably a weak cop-out,the timing is never right to divest oneself of a habit)
The other thing I have finally wrapped my mind around is that I am in a Mistress?slave relationship....She is not my girlfriend,seems I was a little confused about that...lol.
She was trying to Domme me and I was trying to present myself as a smooth,debonaire lady's man.Major cross purposes and foolish of me to begin with,what attracted me was Her assertive take charge attitude and there I was,really without realizing it battling Her for control...cause I was attracted to Her.
What a putz,I'm not a teenager,what I was thinking(other than She has a real nice ass)I have no idea....but we seemed to make some progress during our last get together.
Now if I can just avoid blowing it up perhaps I can avoid anymore whining posts [:)]



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