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So many players - 6/2/2006 4:14:03 AM   
NWDomDommeCpl


Posts: 43
Joined: 3/29/2005
Status: offline 		Is it any wonder that BDSM is getting such a bad name recently(or much longer)
We have been members a while now and although we have had many responses to our request in our ad.When it comes down to doing the usual checks to prove themselves they suddenly dissapear.
Why do people think its a good thing to do, pretending to be who they obviously are not.
Its very frustrating,spending a lot of time talking,listening and general chatting and getting to know that person just to find out that they are not really who they say they are.
We should stress this isnt everyone who has replied,but it is a lot.
I'm sure many others have found the same problem as we have and are as fed up as we are.
Where has the honesty gone?
Mistress Trish & Master Aren
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 4:19:06 AM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline 		This type of Op is almost a rite of passage on the boards.  Nearly E/everyone has complained about fakes, trolls, HNGs, players, etc., etc. etc.  While i sympathise -- i really do -- try to keep Y/your "eye on the prize".  Y/you only want one (or more?) real people....and somewhere in the mix, Y/you may find T/them.
 
Be well.
 
pinkee

(in reply to NWDomDommeCpl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 4:27:08 AM   
SyrusCraven


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/22/2006
Status: offline 		I've read profiles where the girls are saying they get around 60 emails in 12 hours from signing up. That's rather pathetic when maybe 1 or 2 are people who actually have a clue to the lifestyle and real interest. Without a filtering system anyone can make an account, and spam their intentions. Then sometimes I think people are overwhelmed and end up backing out because they're afraid, realizing they are involved in something real, that possibly they have yet to experience.

(in reply to NWDomDommeCpl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 4:29:38 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Where has the honesty gone?

It has not gone anywhere.
If you truly seek to find someone to join your family, then you need to get off the computer and get going in REAL LIFE. I find it quite humorous that so many look for honesty on a computer screen, and then complain when pixels turn out to be not what they expected.
 
**edited for spelling due to disgust**

< Message edited by Tikkiee -- 6/2/2006 4:30:38 AM >

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to NWDomDommeCpl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 4:30:58 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Just keep in mind how special it will be when you finally hit "paydirt".

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to NWDomDommeCpl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 4:53:58 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NWDomDommeCpl

Is it any wonder that BDSM is getting such a bad name recently(or much longer)
We have been members a while now and although we have had many responses to our request in our ad.When it comes down to doing the usual checks to prove themselves they suddenly dissapear.
Why do people think its a good thing to do, pretending to be who they obviously are not.
Its very frustrating,spending a lot of time talking,listening and general chatting and getting to know that person just to find out that they are not really who they say they are.
We should stress this isnt everyone who has replied,but it is a lot.
I'm sure many others have found the same problem as we have and are as fed up as we are.
Where has the honesty gone?
Mistress Trish & Master Aren


Sorry, but this is an extremely common rant here.  Basically, it's how it is with being online.  Block, delete and move on.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to NWDomDommeCpl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 6:00:44 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I read your profile and this is yet another whiner complaining about how subs are rude for not answering emails.  I am sorry but nobody is under obligation to respond, sure it is nice but it just aint required.

Also, if you are bitching about men pretending to be women, my bet is you are going after the young ones with the hot pictures which are of course mostly men, but to whine that the 18 and 20 somethings aren't responding...is laughable.

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 6:30:40 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline 		I see these posts all the time, but I have no idea what they mean.  Don't all Doms and Masters get 10-15 emails a day from 19-23 year old part-time lingerie model, full-time trust baby, 24/7, no-limit sex slaves?  With so much sex-slave pussy being thrown at me, I have trouble keeping my schedule straight!

*sarcasm off, rant on*

People, what we do is rather specialized.  While the common wisdom is that there are more "real" subs than there are "real" doms, the fact of the matter is that there are really damn few of both.  Now mix in that not every "real" sub is going to be interested in every "real" dom, and it is a wonder any of us hook up, ever!

Get off the computer and get a real hobby.  You're as likely (if not more) to meet a compatible partner in the supermarket than you are in this place...

*rant off*

Taggard


_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to NWDomDommeCpl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 6:44:40 AM   
NCSilverWolves


Posts: 123
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline 		Alot have made comments of looking on line is not the way to meet what you seek. Other say meeting on line is great if you get to meet soon. Other shit is said too.... just not enough caffine in system to think of more of them. Bottom line is ....do what feels good to you and yours. Sense coming on CM, I too have been accused of being a fake, wanna be... whatever the hell else. Just because someone in a far off state and or country doesn't get to met meet when they're good and ready. Forget about if I'm ready to or not. Because I won't yank my kids outta school and travel X amount of miles to go meet either. There are people on here looking.... and not looking... enjoying meeting and talking.

Now I agree with the statement that ..... that is all fine and dandy as long as they don't try to play up that they're interested and  play the stupid game. I've fell victim to the same childish games from a few local doms here on CM. All talk on the internet, but when meeting comes about..... I can't today... or this weekend... because(state whatever reason here). And that's after they bring up the subject of meeting. I do not ask for meetings.

It took over 5 months to meet with Wolf last weekend. And he lives about a 2 hour drive from me. (Mainly because I didn't feel it was time or family matters interfered) But he was and is patient. He's happy... i'm happy.. that's what it was all about to begin with. So sit back... enjoy the ride... it will happen... when it's suppose to happen. 

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 6:49:10 AM   
lisa1978


Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline 		Common rant with common advice. We do not know what you say in your messages or who you are writing, but if you are mass messaging and happy to corespond with anyone who writes you back then you are going to get a higher percentage of fakers. Also, when you do strike up communication with someone, when do you make the demand for proof like phone calls or whatever, because if you are asking too soon you will have women say bye bye. I have been accuse of being fake several times after I have had a few nice messages back and forth and then been given the "demand" before I was ready and comfortable despite being crystal clear in my profile and early messages on when I would. I just know personally, I get extremely turned off and angry by being pushed through the stages.

At the same time, if you are writing and it takes weeks and weeks and they still will not go to the phone then you do need to cut them off. they can be fake, not serious or probably too scared to go through with anything.

Also, nothing is a bigger turn off, especially for the real people, than negativity. Lose it in your profile, journal entries and messages and find someplace else to take out your frustration.



_____________________________

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 9:26:32 AM   
Sheikh


Posts: 32
Joined: 6/1/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
People, what we do is rather specialized.  While the common wisdom is that there are more "real" subs than there are "real" doms, the fact of the matter is that there are really damn few of both.  Now mix in that not every "real" sub is going to be interested in every "real" dom, and it is a wonder any of us hook up, ever!

Get off the computer and get a real hobby.  You're as likely (if not more) to meet a compatible partner in the supermarket than you are in this place...


Do you now have slave supermarkets in America?

I suppose it must be helpful to be able to handle the merchandise before clipping their chains to one's trolley, but is the quality up to the standard one has come to expect of the auctions in Europe?

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 9:39:58 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have been a member of vanilla internet dating sites, and guess what? People do that on those too. Vanilla people are just as flaky as those with an interest in BDSM. Who woulda thought it?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NWDomDommeCpl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 9:48:27 AM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		un fortunatly fakes are game for the par
they are everywere not just online they are in the clubs and out in the world.
I try to avoid fakes the best I can but you cant always do that you have to follow your heart and be as honest as you can
my profile is blunt and honest in attempt to weed out the fakes and or uninterested ones, all you can do is be as honest as you can

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 9:55:25 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		The saying is par for the course.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 10:12:03 AM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		Only 70%-90% are fake lol, just weed out the bad..............yea I waste so much time with this also.

NOT TO WORRY, my SOON TO BE RELEASED PERFECT DOM (dumb) profile will get all the reel gurls, then I will pass them out to all my friends!!!!!!!!!! LOL. SOOO much work to do............. 

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to NWDomDommeCpl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 10:15:40 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		We have eh all here ... The Good, The Bad and The Butt Ugly ~ Yer pays yer moniey and yer takes yer choice..........Consider it a good learning ground on how to improve your hunting skills and become profficient in selecting those from whom you may choose.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 10:27:07 AM   
Kirei


Posts: 146
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Mistress Trish,
  This works both ways.  While it may seem hard for the dominants, it is just as hard for the true slave/subs as well.

Your a couple and that can be big issue.  I have been emailed by couples before.  The problem is I seem to only be able to talk with one person in the couple.  The other doesn't want too, and to me thats a potential problem.  Why would I enter into even meeting a couple when I don't even know what the other person is like. 
The real problem is no one tells you when you've hit a red flag, or something that bothers them.  Its 90% about what you bring to it, its 10% of being able to communicate the other 90% to another.  Sounds simple but its not.

Koneko

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 10:36:41 AM   
iliv2servher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NWDomDommeCpl

Is it any wonder that BDSM is getting such a bad name recently(or much longer)
We have been members a while now and although we have had many responses to our request in our ad.When it comes down to doing the usual checks to prove themselves they suddenly dissapear.
Why do people think its a good thing to do, pretending to be who they obviously are not.
Its very frustrating,spending a lot of time talking,listening and general chatting and getting to know that person just to find out that they are not really who they say they are.
We should stress this isnt everyone who has replied,but it is a lot.
I'm sure many others have found the same problem as we have and are as fed up as we are.
Where has the honesty gone?
Mistress Trish & Master Aren


Trying to get into the mindset of a respondent is probably one of the biggest complaints.  And there are as many explanations as to why someone simply opts out during the Q&A period.  The most-common is probably that they were misrepresenting themselves and could not continue the charade any longer.  Maybe they look at this as a part of fantasy roleplay, and that the fantasy may be getting too real.  People often panic and balk when they are forced to choose between fantasy and reality. 

(in reply to NWDomDommeCpl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 10:47:50 AM   
Clothespingirl


Posts: 82
Joined: 3/8/2006
Status: offline 		Personally, I "panic and balk" when it feels like the person I'm talking to isn't someone I want to be alone with.

All I can suggest is trying to demonstrate empathy, social skills, and self-control. And no, it's not always going to work.  What does?


_____________________________

"Cheeky bitch"

(in reply to iliv2servher)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: So many players - 6/2/2006 11:16:13 AM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline 		I can't say i don't get emails from these types, but i can honestly say i rarely have spent much time communicating with them only to find down the road they are players.

If it isn't obvious from their initial email, 5 minutes of chatting will usually display their true colors and i simply say thank you and move on. 

Anyone that i have spent any real amount of time conversing with has turned out to be very real.  Anyone i have taken time to meet in person from here, remains someone i would consider a friend...two from here are my best friends that i have known for years.

Maybe it is time to fine tune your radar.  Reevaluate how you are communicating with them.  Ask questions that require soul searching answers...players generaly do not want to put a whole lot of effort into this type of communication and they will move on.



_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to NWDomDommeCpl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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