Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Freaked out


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Freaked out Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 7:42:56 AM   
lilmisssubmiss


Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline 		It's not misplaced I worry easily .

(in reply to fucktoyprincess)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 7:44:28 AM   
lilmisssubmiss


Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline 		This all has made me feel better though . Not as worried anymore . And no ita just my vanilla life is doing really well. With my kind of internship people can't know I'm into bdsm

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 7:48:42 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss

This all has made me feel better though . Not as worried anymore . And no ita just my vanilla life is doing really well. With my kind of internship people can't know I'm into bdsm

Take a deep breath. Even with your internship, I daresay he has a lot more to lose than you.

The most important thing you can do is learn from this. Remember, you are that proverbial 'unicorn' that a TON of people are searching for. You can afford to be picky and you can also afford to not let people push you into something that you aren't comfortable with yet.

I highly recommend you go down to the poly forum and do some reading. There's some great advice from people who have lived poly for years if not decades. Don't be afraid to write to some of the people who are in active triads to ask them for advice. I'd bet that 99% of them will be happy to correspond with you and help you.

< Message edited by Hillwilliam -- 2/13/2012 7:49:23 AM >

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 7:58:47 AM   
MrBukani


Posts: 1920
Joined: 4/18/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss

This all has made me feel better though . Not as worried anymore . And no ita just my vanilla life is doing really well. With my kind of internship people can't know I'm into bdsm

Again dont worry if things ever come out you are just a little kinky or freaky or whatever.
And I bet most people like some kink.
The truly straight ones even admit they are a bit boring. Its all in the deliverance.

PS
I am not gonna tell you about my every kink untill I know or trust you to a certain extent.

< Message edited by MrBukani -- 2/13/2012 8:06:59 AM >

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 8:16:09 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss

Okay , I'm just worried he will out me since he knows my full name.


And unless I am mistaken, you know where he lives.

You can out him.

Do you really think he is going to claim that you somehow managed to convince them both into a 3-way against their will, or that you overpowered them both?

But if he has threatened you with blackmail in the past even in jest and proceeds to follow through, then remember the law is on your side.
Blackmail is illegal and he faces big trouble for trying.


_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 8:26:02 AM   
MusicalBoredom


Posts: 620
Joined: 5/8/2007
From: Louisiana/New York
Status: offline 		Great advice so far.

I try not to find who is at fault. It seems to be a natural urge to somehow "know" we weren't to blame for all sorts of things but it's pointless really. I didn't end up marrying that girl in the third grade that I sent the "do you like, check yes or no" note to but I would hardly say someone was to blame or that it was a mistake. We all go out with lots of people but only settle down with a few. That's just the process. I don't have to make me or them the bad guy. That being said, I am responsible for my growth and my future and current decisions so I hope to learn what it is that I really want and not let my little head get me into trouble.

One of things that I see a lot of naturally submissive people do is obsess over some perceived displeasure on the part of someone else. That can get you in trouble if it's misplaced. Not everyone is going to like you and some people are just a bottomless pit of demands and expectations that you could never possible satisfy.

Best of luck!

ETA: If he does want to play public games don't forget that you are young and cute and you can play the "big mean man tried to take advantage of little old me" card.

< Message edited by MusicalBoredom -- 2/13/2012 8:27:36 AM >

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 8:31:32 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Okay , I'm just worried he will out me since he knows my full name.


Don't you know his last name and where he lives? If you don't know his last name, that's something to add to your checklist moving forward. If he's a homeowner, you can get his name from property records from his address. CM me if you'd like help with this.

Mostly likely, he's going to want to forget you ever existed. Pro-actively block him where ever you can.

On the off chance he contacts you, tell him to leave you alone or you will tell his wife.

I'm sure we all have made mistakes - I know I have!

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 8:35:53 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss

No....

but he's kind of manipulative.

There is something about him i really don't trust...like REALLY don't trust. I have a REALLY bad feeling.


If this is the way you feel, then why were you trying to become involved with him?



Yes, this jumped out at me also.

If after communicating a woman cannot trust me enough to spend time with me in a public place, I don't want her to meet with me.

If after spending time with me in a public place, a woman cannot trust me enough to spend time with me privately, I don't want her to.

If after spending time with me publicly, privately, she cannot trust me enough to feel comfortable coming to my home, I don't want her there.

If she cannot feel comfortable with me publicly, privately, and in my home, I sure as HELL don't want to fuck her.

Trust goes both ways. I want to be as comfortable with her, trust her in my life, as much as I love knowing she trusts me.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 2/13/2012 8:36:42 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 8:36:45 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Regarding last names, if a guy won't cough up his last name, no way in hell will I be meeting him privately.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 8:39:18 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		FR

Drama Llama meat is awesome barbecued.

- Just sayin

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 8:40:58 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

FR

Drama Llama meat is awesome barbecued.

- Just sayin


I don't know. I would be worried about residuals from all the psychiatric meds.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 9:36:46 AM   
lostinmyownmind


Posts: 56
Joined: 8/31/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

FR

Drama Llama meat is awesome barbecued.

- Just sayin

She posted this over on Fet before she came here and got all the same advice. I guess it wasn't good enough for her?

_____________________________

Just a lost soul swimming in a fish bowl

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 9:40:49 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

FR

Drama Llama meat is awesome barbecued.

- Just sayin


I don't know. I would be worried about residuals from all the psychiatric meds.



Good point, well made.

Perhaps knit a cardigan from the fluff?

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 11:42:24 AM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

The fact that you don't trust him tells me that this entire experience was a mistake on your part.


I think she gets this. It's clear she's beating herself up about what happened. I know this thread has to run its course while everyone has their say, but she's paid her penance. Where's the good in making her feel worse than she already does?

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 11:45:38 AM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		I agree. I cant even get snarky on this chicks post, because its actually a fucked up situation. I'd want to rip that guys balls apart if I were her.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

The fact that you don't trust him tells me that this entire experience was a mistake on your part.


I think she gets this. It's clear she's beating herself up about what happened. I know this thread has to run its course while everyone has their say, but she's paid her penance. Where's the good in making her feel worse than she already does?




< Message edited by JanahX -- 2/13/2012 11:46:08 AM >

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 12:17:20 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

The fact that you don't trust him tells me that this entire experience was a mistake on your part.


I think she gets this. It's clear she's beating herself up about what happened. I know this thread has to run its course while everyone has their say, but she's paid her penance. Where's the good in making her feel worse than she already does?



I'm not trying to make her feel worse. Just pointing out that it's unwise and unsafe to proceed with anyone that you don't trust.

I think the fact that you're not a sub or slave may prevent you from understanding a problem that many of us have. We often allow our desire to serve/submit to become so strong, that we ignore obvious warning signs. We'll sometimes submit to people who don't deserve our submission.

In the past, I've referred to this as "submitting to our desire to submit". I've definitely done it, and I'm sure that there are other subs on here who will admit that they've made similar mistakes.

While I don't want to make someone "feel bad", I think it's important that we learn the lessons from our mistakes. Sometimes those lessons have to be hammered home pretty loudly, so that next time we are in sub frenzy, we won't ignore the alarms that are going off in our head.

Like I said, I've been there, done that, and have an entire collection of t-shirts to prove it. I just hope that she hears the true message that I'm trying to give her. But I know from firsthand experience that it's easy to ignore uneasy feelings when the craving to submit hits.

Anyway, I wish the OP good luck. And I do apologize if I made her feel bad.


< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 2/13/2012 12:19:33 PM >

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 12:26:21 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

The fact that you don't trust him tells me that this entire experience was a mistake on your part.


I think she gets this. It's clear she's beating herself up about what happened. I know this thread has to run its course while everyone has their say, but she's paid her penance. Where's the good in making her feel worse than she already does?



I agree. She made a mistake that hopefully she has learned from. The guy was deliberately a jerk. Her role was innocent, his wasn't.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 1:03:14 PM   
lilmisssubmiss


Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline 		Well , I do know it's my fault . I had that gut feeling, just was surprised I was so stupid and got into that position . I really have learned a lot . These posts really helped me. Thank you for your time . And you are right I wanted my desire to be submissive met , but that got me in a bad position . I will never do that until I know the dominant will be caring, and treat me right . And , I'll never do anything drunk first again . It's my fault because I let this all happen , I just believed others have good intentions , I have to watch out for myself more . Can't tell you how much this all helped , I was really upset yesterday .

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 2:20:49 PM   
fucktoyprincess


Posts: 2337
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss

I just believed others have good intentions , I have to watch out for myself more .


Sometimes it is actually better to proceed as if others do not have good intentions, until proven otherwise. Hate to be the cynic, but this cynicism of mine has kept me safe on many an occasion....

< Message edited by fucktoyprincess -- 2/13/2012 2:35:04 PM >

_____________________________

~ ftp

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Freaked out - 2/13/2012 4:07:24 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe it's just me, but for some reason, you seem to have this habit of choosing the wrong sort of men. Just looking at your past postings is enough to give me a headache and shake my head in disbelief.

Perhaps you should just sit on the sidelines for a bit and gain some maturity and instincts.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Freaked out Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094