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RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/15/2012 4:17:06 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

The first guy also said in the first thread I referenced that he was in therapy to deal with his anger about BDSM. I'm not sure he ever was, but the BDSM therapy is a commonality between that thread and this one. I also think Kevin has too many tells. He'd never be able to shut up about certain things and would have outed himself asap. Plus can you see Kevin actually saying he ran out on a session that he paid for when the Domme was in the toilet? He'd be going on and on about the money charged instead.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 141

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/15/2012 4:17:59 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I am still laughing at the notion of a pro dom swanning off to the loo while she had a client! Without him!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 142

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/15/2012 4:19:35 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

Yeah, that was a tremor on the BS meter. If it were Kevin he'd be sputtering about her nerve to take a tinkle on his dime.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 143

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/15/2012 4:20:14 PM

lostinmyownmind

Posts: 56
Joined: 8/31/2011
Status: offline

Dommes Les Enigma
[/quote]

It's not that I don't have the strength I genuinely feel a bit embarrassed and like I let myself down, I don't think a man should behave that way. You won't like me saying that but if you keep replying with little digs saying I don't have the strength your gonna get more truth about what I think out of me, I dunno what else to say.
[/quote]
Bingo! His poor widdle masculinity feels threatened, so now he thinks it's all wrong.

_____________________________

Just a lost soul swimming in a fish bowl

(in reply to Steve2199)

Post #: 144

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/15/2012 7:12:48 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

I think it's this guy.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3954321/mpage_1/key_BDSM%252Cangry/tm.htm#3954685

Lizi FTW! I was looking for that thread but tried the *11 and *12 variations of that nick.

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 145

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/16/2012 6:40:14 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

And from the UK in that incarnation too.

"Reply to a Lady Editor," the poet's tongue-in-cheek response to the editor of a woman's magazine who had clearly missed the poem's "I Knew a Woman" suggestiveness; Theodore Roethke there calls Dan Cupid a "braw laddie-buck," and advises the editor just to lean herself back if he should arrive.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 146

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/16/2012 6:58:00 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

Could be Kevie but I think it's this guy.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3954321/mpage_1/key_BDSM%252Cangry/tm.htm#3954685

Same guy upset with BDSM- posting on another thread with quite a few posts starting with post #36.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3934101/mpage_1/tm.htm

Or here is this guy, called Steve, who says BDSM is wrong.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3492151/mpage_1/tm.htm

I'd have to say the typing and writing are closer to the first guy than the second although the similarity in the names is pretty convincing for the second. Still think it's the first that's what clicked for me when I first read this thread, then held off, after reading about the online BDSM counseling it was BS territory for me.

That's what I had niggling in the back of my brain in reading this. And.....no one mention of the woman's shoes. Didn't kev have a shoe/boot thing.....or am I remembering incorrectly again?

Poor little feller. His dick wants what his ego tells him is wrong.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 2/16/2012 6:59:48 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 147

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/16/2012 3:22:52 PM

Steve2199

Posts: 41
Joined: 2/14/2012
Status: offline

I don't know what your all about now, it's made me feel anxious and panic attacks etc, I wish it hadn't, other than that there's not. Lot else I can say, i don't understand the anger towards me.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 148

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/16/2012 3:27:17 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

We don't understand what you mean by anger towards you.
Does your other profile (that you didn't post under) suffer the same persecutions?

Have you ever been martyered? Does your other profile have this rigamarole stuff going on out here?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Steve2199)

Post #: 149

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/16/2012 4:08:34 PM

givemyall

Posts: 620
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

You know what OP, I dont know who you are and I dont really care, but the thread heading interested me.

I've been the way I am since I was 14, I guess really its been all my life, but it took me that long to grow up enough to try it, anyway, im 44 now so, I guess I have a few years of it under my belt. Always been safe and up to a couple of months ago, if you had asked 'can bdsm mess you up' then I would have told you to grow a pair.

However I got into a relationship with a man who talked the talk, walked the walk, he seemed to be ticking all the boxes, we had lots of close times where he seemed to be in control. Then one night he turned, thats when I found out that most of his 'bdsm' experience had come from german S&M films - im still picking the splinters and the dye off the cane from under my skin! The forensic people gasped when they saw me. (obviously my judgement of this person was way off!) No it wasnt BDSM because in my experience BDSM has always been sane and consensual - this wasn't, I had zero control over what was happening, but because the world likes to stereotype, all the relevant authorities are judging it under the BDSM umbrella. I cant give out any other details for legal reasons, but im sure you get the picture.

So can BDSM mess you up? - well, if you have control, then no, BDSM can not mess you up, it can not harm you, because at the end of the day it should be consensual, its what you agreed to, but its how you see it at the end of the day which makes a difference, if your session was out of control and out of your limits, then this thing that has happened CAN mess you up, because even if it set out as BDSM, it did not remain that way - this becomes assault (within the UK law system) and assault or rape can be hard to deal with and yes it can 'mess you up'. The person controlling the situation may still see it as BDSM (as they would judge it), but you dont! - I know because im there at the moment.

So maybe I am answering this question with a completely different perspective than most people, but hey, we are all allowed an opinion.

regards to everyone!

Claire

< Message edited by givemyall -- 2/16/2012 4:10:52 PM >

(in reply to Steve2199)

Post #: 150

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/16/2012 4:11:34 PM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

I thought Kev had a toilet training fetish, not a shoe fetish. So, it would be really, really unlikely for him to sneak out on a session with a domme because she went to the toilet!

quote:

(in

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

Could be Kevie but I think it's this guy.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3954321/mpage_1/key_BDSM%252Cangry/tm.htm#3954685

Same guy upset with BDSM- posting on another thread with quite a few posts starting with post #36.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3934101/mpage_1/tm.htm

Or here is this guy, called Steve, who says BDSM is wrong.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3492151/mpage_1/tm.htm

I'd have to say the typing and writing are closer to the first guy than the second although the similarity in the names is pretty convincing for the second. Still think it's the first that's what clicked for me when I first read this thread, then held off, after reading about the online BDSM counseling it was BS territory for me.

That's what I had niggling in the back of my brain in reading this. And.....no one mention of the woman's shoes. Didn't kev have a shoe/boot thing.....or am I remembering incorrectly again?

Poor little feller. His dick wants what his ego tells him is wrong.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 151

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/16/2012 4:24:06 PM

Steve2199

Posts: 41
Joined: 2/14/2012
Status: offline

I guess I do have an issue, but I can take responisibilty for my actions, it's just I feel torn apart by it, I feel timid and kind of subdued, I never felt this way for a long time, it's affected my work, family, friendships, i felt to ask for advice wasma decent thing to do. If I felt the same after I did it as I did before then I'd just put it to the back of my mind and forget about it but I dont

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Blaming bdsm, a dominant or your experience on anything but your own emotional state would be a mistake. Many healthy minded and emotionally fit people enjoy these things with no negative effect upon them. Calling it abuse is a personal option, but in your case it wasn't abuse. You willingly volunteered 'Steve'. You asked for what happened, paid for it and now have issue with it because of something in your emotional or mental make up. You may have started out taking short cuts to what you wanted and couldn't get without paying for the experience... then took a short cut claiming to have seen a professional counselor and now are taking a short cut in thinking that people can help you when you haven't quite helped yourself and short cutting the real answer as a fault in others or bdsm. You are the link between all of this and you do seem to be well aware of many things that your other ignorance's wouldn't allow for.

There was no abuse in your situation other than the abuse you are perpetuating upon yourself and maybe others, now. This truly is a personal problem and only you can determine what you do with it.

< Message edited by Steve2199 -- 2/16/2012 4:25:10 PM >

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 152

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/16/2012 4:25:50 PM

Steve2199

Posts: 41
Joined: 2/14/2012
Status: offline

Thanks Claire,

I am sweet, I don't know who kev is sorry

(in reply to Steve2199)

Post #: 153

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/16/2012 4:44:43 PM

notAkitten

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

It wasn't bdsm that messed you up, hon, it was a full blown psychopath that did that. I'm glad you made it out ok though.

(in reply to givemyall)

Post #: 154

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/16/2012 7:33:25 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Steve2199

Hi guys,

I tried bdsm for the first time a few months ago, I'm not sure why u did it, but I did it, with a dominatrix and it's totally destroyed me.

I have had anxiety attacks ever since, I used to get them when I was younger but this has brought them back. It's like since I did it I don't feel manly or human anymore, just really weak and timid.

Where I work it is with mostly men and they all seem to have stopped talking to me, they've noticed how ive changed, even though they probably don't know why.

Is this common? Is there anyplace I can go for help?

Steve, let me just tell you this.

Pay attention:

Don't do it again.

(in reply to Steve2199)

Post #: 155

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/17/2012 7:41:17 AM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

Changed my mind. It is Kevin. This post convinced me. Hey Kev, how did the poor Domme make it to the toilet without you following her in?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Steve2199

Thanks Claire,

I am sweet, I don't know who kev is sorry

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to Steve2199)

Post #: 156

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/17/2012 7:45:04 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

So I am more than just a pretty face that gets wood when esquires (essessesses) use foul language in their public argumentation, and who likes blowjobs.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 157

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/17/2012 10:18:40 AM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

I am confused by your last message Ron. Are you saying I am an esquire who likes blowjobs, or are you the one who likes blowjobs? I do loves me some foul language, though.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 158

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/17/2012 10:22:26 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I like blowjobs, and if you ever wanted to blow me, I would like you to like it too, but it isn't absolutely necessary that you enjoy it, in fact, your not enjoying it is also hot.....

I am not trying to be wishy washy here.

Ja, its just that neckties who in their argumentation call something fuckin stupid...its great when they are off the clock.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 159

RE: Can bdsm mess you up? - 2/17/2012 10:23:23 AM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

I have never worn a necktie in my life.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 160

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