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How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 1:11:25 PM   
TheBootyMan


Posts: 75
Status: offline 		Hi, I recently hired a mistress to work for me and she is being groomed to be my right hand woman in my business. I didn't know that she was a Dom who has slaves until after the hire. I know very little about the lifestyle but I do know I want to see our relationship flourish. We seem to butt heads as I guess I am a dom too being the boss. What advice can you give me in handling my role as the boss of a very strong dominant woman?
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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 1:13:36 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Act like a boss.  Who she is and what she does outside of her work environment is nobody's business.  Use her strengths where possible.

Oh wait... that's for everybody.  :0)


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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 1:15:22 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		*cough, cough*
Azeban

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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 2:22:11 PM   
hangemhigh1953


Posts: 245
Joined: 7/8/2011
Status: offline 		Keep it professional

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when passion's a prison you can't break free"

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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 2:34:25 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

I recently hired a mistress to work for me and she is being groomed to be my right hand woman in my business. I didn't know that she was a Dom who has slaves until after the hire.


I guess I don't understand. How did you find out that she is a Domme who has slaves? Did she just come right out and tell you that? Most people who are in this lifestyle would have no reason to share that with their new employer.

Also, why is it relevant to you? You're the boss, she's the employee. Her dominance in her private relationships has absolutely nothing to do with her work relationship with you as her boss. If she doesn't do what she's been hired to do, you fire her. If she can't respect the fact that you're the boss, you fire her. It's as simple as that.

Frankly, your question doesn't make sense on many levels. If you've hired an employee, you must have some knowledge of labor law, and employee/employer rights. What does her private sexual activity have to do with anything?

I'm thoroughly confused by your question (but I'm refraining from calling it B.S.).

(in reply to TheBootyMan)
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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 2:39:28 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		You mix it up and she will bury you. You are the boss... doesn't matter what she does outside of work, she isn't domina there. She butts heads with you too much... show her who is boss.

You let things get mixed up and you deserve whatever she does to you. Just say no... and don't do it.

I'm not saying it can't work out... but really... you want to mess up your business and future? I wouldn't take the chance. I'm dominant... I am a strong leader and good in business, but even I know when I am employee and the minute I try to take over... I deserve to be the former employee.


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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 2:42:41 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

Hi, I recently hired a mistress

You actually hired a HUMAN. The fact that she is also a mistress should not concern you
where your business is involved. You found her skill set to be worthy of hiring her, so either
keep "grooming" her to be your right hand woman, or fire her for insubordination.


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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 2:48:31 PM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		Too late for that, since evidently they have discussed her private sexual practices.  I wonder how that topic of conversation came up?  Not only that, but now he is catering to her domme nature at work?  Sounds like a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen. 
quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953

Keep it professional


_____________________________

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The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 2:50:08 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Um.  You hired her having no idea she had slaves?  And now you know?  And despite the fact that you know little about the lifestyle, you're posting in the Ask a Mistress forum on collarme?

I hope you don't get whacked with a suit based on inappropriate behavior - there is no legit way you should know her relationships.  There's something "off" with your story.

That said, you're the boss.  If she doesn't like it, fire her for insubordination.  Domme or not.




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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 2:57:25 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Being her boss gives you no liscence on her personal life, including her sexual practices. Try not to force any kind of relationship on her she doesn't invite. Also... you're the BOSS, don't fuck or fuck with your employees, down that road lies a lot of trouble.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 3:05:27 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Too late for that, since evidently they have discussed her private sexual practices.  I wonder how that topic of conversation came up?........Sounds like a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen. 



My thoughts exactly. I would love to have been a fly on the wall when the fact that she is a Domme who has slaves came up during the course of business conversations. I just can't imagine any realistic scenario in which that could occur.

I guess I lack imagination. Or perhaps I just can't believe that any boss would be stupid enough to engage in conversation with an employee about a topic that is as off-limits as this one.

I'm still refraining from calling the OP's story B.S., but I'm getting close. And the fact that this is his very first post isn't helping any.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 2/16/2012 3:08:32 PM >

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)
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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 3:09:50 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

And despite the fact that you know little about the lifestyle, you're posting in the Ask a Mistress forum on collarme?



I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who found this to be strange.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 3:39:28 PM   
FemmeDominion


Posts: 146
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		I wasn't going to say anything but as there has been enough dissension in the ranks Ima gonna do it.

As soon as I read this thread I remembered this thread http://www.collarchat.com/m_4021694/mpage_1/tm.htm

Now... the link fellow is clearly submissive but not above creating multiple profiles. The OP's (what do OP and FR mean?) profile lists him as a Dominate and he self proclaims as a dominate but did not fill out the profile on the other side (which could just be because he really is here only asking for advice.)

The OP lists in the same age range as the two profiles the link fellow does. The states in the three profiles are neighbors.

There's also enough difference in the way they write that they could very well be different men.

However there's this
quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

And despite the fact that you know little about the lifestyle, you're posting in the Ask a Mistress forum on collarme?



I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who found this to be strange.
Which makes me wonder how this poster found this site, of all the fetish sites, to find this forum, of all the BDSM forums, to post a similar "situation."

I will happily be wrong (and not paranoid) if this fellow is different from the link fellow. *shrugs*

This is all my personal opinion. YMMV a whole lot.

Edited the English that I've having a problem with today.

< Message edited by FemmeDominion -- 2/16/2012 3:42:04 PM >

_____________________________

Now this is not gonna be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content...

o·pin·ion -a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.

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FD: Mine is much more advanced.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 7:57:48 PM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		I know exactly how to handle strong Women... I say, "Yes Mistress!"

Hello A/all,

I am going to operate on a few assumptions:
1) TheBootyMan doesn't give a flying flip about his employees personal life. Further, he
recognizes that it is prudent to stay out of her personal life completely.
2) TheBootyMan finds the fact that his employee is a Domme to be illuminating and
nothing else.
3) This is a genuine query for insight.

It's been said above, "Be professional!" Just what the heck does that mean? In this case I would recomend that you establish your boundaries with her, make them know and stick too them. When she crosses those boundaries correct her.

Remember that you are the boss. You are the one putting capital at risk. You bear the burden and responsibility. Not with-standing that your "right hand woman" is not thusly encumbered and may see more clearly, YOU ARE THE BOSS.

Establish conditions by which you handle disagreements. Surely she can express her views with courtesy! When she's had her say (or you've heard enough), terminate the discussion with similar courtesy. "Thank you Ms. [Fabulous Dominatrix]. That will be all." seems to work. Take the time to separate your ego from any disagreement. Sleep on an idea if necessary. Heck! Take TWO days if you want too!

Vent your frustrations about your "right hand woman" to your therapist and NO ONE ELSE! Require similar conduct from her.

There is one other course of action. FIRE HER, throw yourself at her feet and give yourself over to the sublime satisfaction of a truly proper Female/male relationship! If you dont follow that course of action, get my profile in front of her! ;-)

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger

_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
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(in reply to TheBootyMan)
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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/16/2012 9:09:40 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

There is one other course of action. FIRE HER, throw yourself at her feet and give yourself over to the sublime satisfaction of a truly proper Female/male relationship!



SnowRanger,
I couldn't agree with you more. Frankly, I find the scenario that he described to be hot. I've always fantasized about being dominated by my secretary. I've heard that similar fantasies are common among businessmen who also happen to be submissive.

But I know that regardless of how hot the scenario may be, it's best to keep it in the realm of fantasy. Having a sexual relationship (and especially a D/s relationship) with a subordinate has too much risk of going wrong.

OP - Hire a pro Domme to come to your business after hours and let her pretend to dominate you. Don't hire a real employee and let her dominate the boss. That's likely to end badly.


< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 2/16/2012 9:10:53 PM >

(in reply to SnowRanger)
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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/17/2012 4:35:43 AM   
ultimatedomme


Posts: 26
Joined: 5/4/2008
Status: offline 		Oh wow, OP... Don't you just hate it when people start ruining your fantasy scenario by injecting doses of reality into it?

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/17/2012 5:17:24 AM   
jennileigh8182


Posts: 173
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline 		I really fail to see the issue. I'm a sub, but at work, I'm a supervisor. I oversee 7-18 people, depending on the shift I work, and all of my employees see me as an authority figure. But when I leave work....i'm a sub that aches for my dominant's command.

Work is separate from someone's personal life, or at least it should be.

Act like a boss...be a boss. If she won't bend to her superior at work, then fire her.

(in reply to TheBootyMan)
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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/17/2012 6:27:52 AM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FemmeDominion

I wasn't going to say anything but as there has been enough dissension in the ranks Ima gonna do it.

As soon as I read this thread I remembered this thread http://www.collarchat.com/m_4021694/mpage_1/tm.htm

Now... the link fellow is clearly submissive but not above creating multiple profiles. The OP's (what do OP and FR mean?) profile lists him as a Dominate and he self proclaims as a dominate but did not fill out the profile on the other side (which could just be because he really is here only asking for advice.)

The OP lists in the same age range as the two profiles the link fellow does. The states in the three profiles are neighbors.



I'd bet $ you're correct. In that thread you found, he begins the thread with a username, then signs his name with another username in post #28.


_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to FemmeDominion)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/17/2012 8:27:02 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

Also, why is it relevant to you? You're the boss, she's the employee. Her dominance in her private relationships has absolutely nothing to do with her work relationship with you as her boss. If she doesn't do what she's been hired to do, you fire her. If she can't respect the fact that you're the boss, you fire her. It's as simple as that.
Exactly.

She's not much of a dominant, if she can't figure out when it's appropriate when to behave dominantly and when not to. She should have enough sense to behave in a professional manner.

And OP.....stay out of her personal life.


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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: How to manage a dom advice? - 2/17/2012 9:41:12 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT


quote:

ORIGINAL: FemmeDominion

I wasn't going to say anything but as there has been enough dissension in the ranks Ima gonna do it.

As soon as I read this thread I remembered this thread http://www.collarchat.com/m_4021694/mpage_1/tm.htm

Now... the link fellow is clearly submissive but not above creating multiple profiles. The OP's (what do OP and FR mean?) profile lists him as a Dominate and he self proclaims as a dominate but did not fill out the profile on the other side (which could just be because he really is here only asking for advice.)

The OP lists in the same age range as the two profiles the link fellow does. The states in the three profiles are neighbors.



I'd bet $ you're correct. In that thread you found, he begins the thread with a username, then signs his name with another username in post #28.



Seems to be a disease on the boards lately of people coming in to further their agenda under new accounts. Funny, they don't realize how telling it is when they resurrect their same topics that are so near and dear to their hearts, in the same manner, and use the same supporting detail, along with the same communication style, that it's glaringly obvious just who they are. Not to mention they make the same type of grammatical errors and language choices. In WWII, troop movements were tracked by where particular telegraph operators happened to be geographically- it was known which operator was which by their 'hand' or style of communication plus the errors and such.

Why does this matter that there are sock puppet accounts that keep coming back with the SOS? Does anyone other than the obsessed OP's in question here ever find numerous repetitions of the SOS to be worthy of conversation or just mind-numbing and make you want to hit something? Some people are stuck on certain fantasies/topics/debates and while it's endlessly fascinating to themselves, their audience gets tired of it. Who doesn't know the geek in high school that had a one track mind on some arcane subject and you could never get anything out of them but references to their favorite thing. Plus we're all tired of the dishonesty in sock puppeting.

(in reply to DomMeinCT)
Profile   Post #: 20
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