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RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/2/2006 6:36:04 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		GREAT REPLY.

BTW, if you ever go to the Sanctuary in Dallas, look for karla, she works there and will introduce you to the group there and who I am since we are friends. 

As to you reply about gaining abilities.........seek out those exhibit skills in a face to face situation. ASK questions, practice, ask more questions, practice, ask more........then refine your technique to fit your desires and practice........life is a never ending learning experience.  The ability to mentally control is not one learned in a class, and even IF you were to go to school, perhaps you would not do well. IF I were to go to basketball school, I would be able to speak about the sport, but NEVER SLAM DUNK. I know what I am good  and where I am not. So what if a person has been in the lifestyle 57 years, that does not make him good necessarily, just one who can say they have been doing it for a long time. A new person can acquire many skill sets necessary in a year or so, more for specific equipment if that is your desire. That person can be judged as proficient simply by working hard and seeking out higher levels of knowledge and experiences. Some learn in a short time and repeat that FOREVER and never expand their abilities or care to. Just like in business not everybody becomes the owner of the company, and it is usually the one who is constantly learning and utilizing that skill that goes to the top.........with arrows in his (MY) back..ouch!!!!!!!!!        

The mental aspect of domination does take intelligence and  time to do it correctly. Some have the smarts, but you also need the time and a desire to utilize it on the girl you are working on.

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to mgdartist)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/2/2006 6:36:06 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		awwwwwwwwwww, honey; you gotta remember this is ONLINE and don't get so worked up over e-mail  Pay attention to maybe one in ten (or 100)...same with threads here; mine included.  Maybe I'm having a bad day...maybe I'm writing in pink and it affects my thinking...just don't let it affect YOUR thinking!

Blow that one off and MEET the next one...........real time!  It's mo betta!

IMHO

< Message edited by Bearlee -- 6/2/2006 6:37:03 PM >

(in reply to mgdartist)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/2/2006 6:58:08 PM   
mayapple


Posts: 22
Joined: 5/1/2006
Status: offline 		I recommend this thread from late April on "MENTAL BONDAGE ? What is it ?"
 
http://www.collarchat.com/m_338712/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm
 
I mean, it's got caps in the subject line and everything!!
 
I was particularly wowed by amayos's posting on that thread (post #16):
 
quote:

Mental bondage employs a wide pool of psychological implements and tactics, operating ultimately to mold the mind of a submissive creature to another's will. It involves loosely the following components:

a.) Seduction and influence
b.) Empathetic bonding
c.) Implantation and Classical Conditioning
d.) Fostering dependency & transparency
e.) Internalization and reprogramming
f.) Continued reinforcement

In short, it is the process of stripping the mind naked, and using that nakedness to forge a leash stronger than any chain.


I just kept reading that last sentence over and over again, savoring it, thinking, "That is exactly what I have been longing for, even though the very idea of it baffles and scares me!"  But that is what I long to know.  I think my Dom has been taking me in that direction, but I have a long way to go.  After reading amayos's posting, I was a tiny bit tempted to seek him out for the "full treatment," but happily my own Dom has succeeded with me to the extent that I have no wish to unbind myself from him. 
 
For those of us who crave this sort of mental domination, even if we don't know why and even if it eludes us, I agree with the OP that *for us* anything else seems like playing.  I also completely understand that for others who have a meaningful D/s relationship with no interest in mental domination, they have found what they are looking for and there is nothing to be gained by another trying to say to them, "Mental domination is the pinnacle."  
 
It seems to me it is only appropriate for each of us to say, "In my own experience of D/s, the pinnacle is (or would be) ______," without attempting to judge anyonne else's pinnacle.

mayapple

(in reply to mgdartist)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/2/2006 6:58:53 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve

i think that every submissive, to some degree is mentally Dominant.


hmmmmmmm... I might Top now and then...but in no way am I Dominant.


I think---Though I cant speak for the girl who posted this---but I think it may have been a typo.  If you take it in context with her entire statement, I think she meant to say
"mentally dominatED"

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/2/2006 7:12:28 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		*Using fast reply*
 
Dogobedience,
 
I think I get what you're saying, in part, but I would have to disagree with you on several levels.
 
1.) A "True Dominant" is simply someone who has strong dominant aspects of their basic personality. Only within the BDSM lifestyle do we give it any other context, and that context is defined by the person. A "True Submissive" has the same definition if you substitute the word submissive for dominant.
 
2.) I think you are confusing the concepts of "expressing dominance" and "being dominant". True dominants (see definition above) may spend their lives in a dominant frame of mind, but may EXPRESS it differently. One might be the head of a fortune 500 company by day, and only engage in the domination of his/her partner for a couple of hours every wednesday night. On the other hand, another might be home, overseeing an entire household of sub/slaves all day every day? Is one more "valid" than the other? I don't think so.
 
3.) While, I agree that power exchange begins in the mind, I am uncomfortable with the term "mind control" unless there has been an expressed desire on both sides for this to take place. A dominant that begins to exert mental power over a submissive without his/her expressed consent is (in my opinion) irresponsible. A dominant who feels that every submissive "needs" mind control in order to be considered valid (my word), is in danger of losing sight of what is truly beautiful in this lifestyle - the wholehearted, consensual, voluntary service that is only offered through inspiration and not compulsion (internal or otherwise).
 
When I choose a partner, it's only after I've seen the good and the bad in them. I look closely at the flaws they possess and if I can understand and accept those flaws, I go forward. I also refuse to hide my flaws from potential sub/slaves. I can not and WILL not be forced into acting out someone else's preconceived notions of what they think I "should" be. I find that I can relax and my natural dominance surfaces with someone that I've made a HUMAN connection with. In my "best case scenario" I find a sub/slave who sees me as the central human in their life, and is strong and capable enough to be my partner during life's crises, without losing faith or trust in me. To falsely lead someone to believe that you don't have moments when you are weak (therefore human) is to set them up for a cruel reality check some day when you aren't at the top of your game and they witness it firsthand.
 
Sorry, I didn't start out trying to rant....
 
Lady Kathryn
Athens Ga.  

(in reply to NCSilverWolves)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/2/2006 7:37:13 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		GREAT STUFF

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to mayapple)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/2/2006 7:49:36 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		Knowledge expands my mind.

Most of the time I stand my ground, however I listen to those who share great ideas.

Good thoughts, nice

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/2/2006 8:03:06 PM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		What happens first and foremost is always chemistry. If it is not going to work out, it is not going to work out.

Sure, perhaps having someone's very mind and soul as yours would be a good thing to have, but IMO, it is far better to foster a sense of individuality and creativity in one's slave and let them be a human being than to slowly make their entire existence yours, in which you would be left a doormat: a thing to mould to fit your desires only, a shell of a human being. I believe that mental domination, of which you speak of, is better called the devotion and love of your slave. Their desire to serve you and see to it your every need is taken care of. This, I believe, only the slave can choose to give.

I have seen a Master use a form of mental domination, by simply being able to get into his slave's mind to help her out. To help her realize that there are certain things that she may be unreasonable about, helping calm her emotional instability. I and him try to help her all the time in this respect, but out of love, not out of the need to control. As she calls it, being hit by "clue by fours". She gives her devotion, life and free will of her own accord, not because he gained control of her mind.

It comes down to whether or not they choose to give themselves, not whether or not you have control of them.

I believe that every submissive and slave here will tell you that their mind is their own.  

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/2/2006 8:20:21 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

ack off topic.

I like cake - please review this statement and comment on its social implications.

Yours,


benji


despise cake

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/2/2006 10:03:35 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Amayos wrote an amazing post there, mayapple.. as he usually does. I agree with you 100%. Himself, through his consistant actions has created an environment in which I thrive.. and I have no desire to ever leave it nor do I believe I have the power to do so. Of course, it could be lust.. we're still discovering one another, so who knows. It's only been 10 years. I guess he 'could' be faking. I sure feel compelled to serve him though!

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to mayapple)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/2/2006 10:25:29 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience


ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ?


Well I have to say I would perhaps allow someone to own my brain, but they would have to own the rest of me too... lol. Otherwise he would take my head and leave the rest of me there.... not a pleasant idea... I prefer to keep my mind attached to my body, call it a hard limit if you will.

Now it seems like anyone could understand domination starts between the ears...unless we are  talking about HNGs.. they might not know I suppose. The thing is that be careful of what you own, it might end up owning you (Tyler Durden - Fight Club)

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/3/2006 1:19:55 AM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience


Mental domination, the taking of the girls mind, is where the true foundational structure of this lifestyle begins and ends. Without deep control of the girls mind you do not have domination, only play.


mmm I guess if I didn't have enough to say before I should expand here. (see my other post to this person for those interested)

Let's start with "Mental domination, the taking of the girls mind, is where the true foundational structure of this lifestyle begins and ends."

ummmm the men to women who want to be dominated is approximately 300 to 1 (Canada/US? not sure about other locs). Actually it's higher than that but need I be exact to make my point here? So "mental domination..the insansity bit" mmm I'd refer you to basics 101 (Women (as do men) have equal rights right up to and until they allow themselves to not have equal rights by the person they give those rights unto).

But maybe I'm just sentimental or something.

D (owner of j) 

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/3/2006 2:01:50 AM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Well I have to say I would perhaps allow someone to own my brain, but they would have to own the rest of me too... lol. Otherwise he would take my head and leave the rest of me there.... not a pleasant idea... I prefer to keep my mind attached to my body, call it a hard limit if you will.

Now it seems like anyone could understand domination starts between the ears...unless we are  talking about HNGs.. they might not know I suppose. The thing is that be careful of what you own, it might end up owning you (Tyler Durden - Fight Club)


I am curious how many sub/slaves "function" in a lifestyle relationship and their minds escape?

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/3/2006 4:51:50 AM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		I think his post has a lot of valid points.  There are plenty of doms out there who want to capture someone's heart and soul.  For a submissive woman her heart and soul are tied to her mind, her thoughts, and her actions.  I plead guilty of being the type he speaks of.  It is that atmosphere that a dom creates that makes a submissive "want" to follow, want to please, to give of themselves to their master.  For me, without those feelings of wanting nothing else is present either.

Without being able to make someone want it is too often accomplished by force, coercion,  fear of punishment, etc.  To me that is browbeating rather than domination. I spent the first 18 years of life with a mother who first demanded, then coerced, manipulated and then went to force tactics.  Nothing shuts me down faster submission wise than those tactics.  My father on the other hand knew my heart, was nurturing and loved me.  All he had to do was ask. Mostly he didn't have to ask I did things purposely because I knew he would like and appreciate them.  To me thats the difference.  You get what you put into someone.  Its up to you what set of efforts you choose to put in and the receiver to know if thats what they need or not.  If your efforts are contrary to their needs its not likely to last long.

Then you are back to both people being a match to meet the other's needs for domination or for submission and only the two involved can judge whether that is working for them or not.  

Methinks that if he had left out the bits about "true master", "only a plaything" etc nobody would have squicked at the idea of mental domination that he presented.  

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/3/2006 8:53:42 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Well I have to say I would perhaps allow someone to own my brain, but they would have to own the rest of me too... lol. Otherwise he would take my head and leave the rest of me there.... not a pleasant idea... I prefer to keep my mind attached to my body, call it a hard limit if you will.

Now it seems like anyone could understand domination starts between the ears...unless we are  talking about HNGs.. they might not know I suppose. The thing is that be careful of what you own, it might end up owning you (Tyler Durden - Fight Club)


I am curious how many sub/slaves "function" in a lifestyle relationship and their minds escape?




Um... a mind is a terrible thing to waste?...lol

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/3/2006 10:27:31 AM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		Own my mind the rest will follow....................now where do I hear that ???!!!

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/3/2006 10:28:37 AM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		reply was to no specific person posting

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/3/2006 10:30:48 AM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience

ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ?


Yes!!!  And loving every minute of it! 


_____________________________


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/3/2006 10:32:21 AM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		On second thought....I might just have to go with Celeste on this one.  Could be lust!

_____________________________


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to Sunshine119)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: ARE YOU MENTALLY DOMINATED ? - 6/3/2006 2:48:50 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		Own the mind..........mental domination

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to Sunshine119)
Profile   Post #: 60
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