Edwynn
Posts: 4105
Joined: 10/26/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess
quote:
ORIGINAL: farglebargle
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ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess
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ORIGINAL: farglebargle
Then you're not punishing him for an ACCIDENT.
To me an accident is the equivalent of I am following the rules of the road and someone ignores the red light, and hits me. i.e., I get injured, hurt, or some mess is created - through NO fault of my own. It is my personal belief that many adults use the term "accident" incorrectly. I would like you to explain to me how a glass of milk that has been poured for a child ends up spilled by an accident? Let us assume no pets, no siblings (obviously, if the pet or sibling caused it, that is not the fault of the child.) The child is at the table. The parent is at the stove cooking. And boom, the glass of milk falls. Divine intervention? The Devil? How does the milk spill "by accident".
Maybe the real question to ask is , "If you know the kid is a klutz, why wasn't the milk in a sippy cup?"
Kids graduate from sippy cups at a pretty young age. Are you suggesting that kids as old as 10 should be drinking out of a sippy cup?? Or teenagers?? That really helps teach maturity and responsibility. I mean "child" as it is normally defined. Anyone under the age of 18. And children of all ages spill their milk. It is not just an issue for a 2-yr old. Children should be taught to clean up after their messes. If you don't believe that is correct, you can let your teenagers use a sippy cup, or you can clean up after them. You are free to do whatever you want in your own household. Myself, I will stick to the idea of personal responsibility. Thanks for the suggestion, anyway.
You keep making a vast amount of assumptions about others to make your assertions, those being in place of argument. Try removing the assumptions and see if an argument is possible. No one here said anything about not making a child clean it up, several (including one you claim to agree with) have said that an accident does not deserve punishment. It has also been pointed out that the child cleaning up the mess is not being punished, they are cleaning up the mess. To convey to the child that he is going to clean up the mess as punishment sends every kind of wrong message.
In a situation with a child, ask; who is the adult here? Anyone who forgets to keep that in mind should not be in any situation to deal with the reality of kids. Part and parcel of being an adult is understanding what the word accident means (look it up in the dictionary), and what it does and especially does not imply. An accident is an unintentional event or action, or an action that results in unintended consequences. Does the child falling into the gravel while learning to ride a bike not constitute an accident in your estimation, because he was not whacked to the ground by a truck? Was there divine intervention at work here? That seems to be the determiner for you. An accident (look it up in the dictionary) is to be dealt with responsibly, by somebody, not punished. If the child is at a certain level of progress, the child deals with the consequences of the accident, cleans the mess up. If not, the person in the capacity of responsibility for that child cleans it up. Who determines that? Who is the adult, here?
I learned very quickly what my nieces and nephews were capable of in the way of motor skills, balance, type of energy, mental ability, emotional level and makeup, personality, etc. and rate of progress in all that. Among other ways, I learned by cleaning up messes, due to putting the child into situations they were not quite ready for, and I took responsibility for that. A child is a growing thing. When they want to learn, I let them learn, whether they are immediately capable of dealing with every last consequence of their actions in that new adventure or not. I can 'cover' if needed. Who is the adult, here?
If they make a mistake and I were to 'punish' them for it, they would quickly avoid whatever action, and learning process, that led to that.
The niece wants to drink out of a regular cup, at the table. When she was definitely not ready for it, I found a way to direct attention elsewhere. Third time's the charm, she got a regular cup, not a whole lot in it. Over the course of a few months, she spills three times; I clean it up, she watches the expert, twice. Third time's the charm, I hand her the paper towel. Of course I have to take a last 'survey and swipe' of the effort, (who's the adult, here?) but she's good to go after that, two spills in the next four years.
And yes, I'm an uncle, so after her cleaning up table spills twice and understanding what it was about, upon further rare ocasion of such misfortune -OF COURSE- I cleaned it up, told her to go get on her bike or climb a tree or something. Cleaned it up myself in twenty seconds. She had more important things to learn. On to the next.
Who's the adult, here?
< Message edited by Edwynn -- 2/21/2012 7:39:39 PM >
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RE: students fined for untied shoelaces - 
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