Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Multi-partner Dom???


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Multi-partner Dom??? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/25/2012 7:37:19 PM   
SexyPhoenix78


Posts: 7
Status: offline 		I have a question that I don't understand. If my Dom wants to be with multiple people and I don't should I stay if I told him this is not something I want? Also, if my Dom has given me no real domming experiences, except to have sex with me is he a real Dom? I started falling in love with him, but felt he wanted to use me for sex and sexual experiences with others. Maybe this is how this is supposed to go, I'm not sure...Any advice would be very helpful.

SexyPhoenix78
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/25/2012 7:39:56 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		Is he holding a gun to your head or something that you feel that you are forced to participate in something that you dont want to?
As to your question if he is a real dom or not - Domliness is in the eye of the beholder.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to SexyPhoenix78)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/25/2012 7:43:21 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Your profile seems to show that you're already dumped him.

Question - under your Actively Seeking, you list Poly. Why?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/25/2012 7:49:50 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		You are responsible for yourself. That means figuring out what you want, and then beinging with people that provide that to you. If you settle for less you are to blame. I am monogamous, if I met someone and didn't get to know him enough at first to see if he was monogamous as well, or if he changed later to say he wanted other partners, then I'd leave the relationship to find someone who suited me and what I wanted. Being submissive doesn't mean I just let people do whatever they want and call it Domination.


To me, it wouldn't be very Dominant to be with someone who simply wanted to have sex, I could find that walking down the street. If it satisfies you to be his bed partner then great, if not, then you need to find someone who is closer to what you think a Dominant is. It sounds to me like you found a horndog who wants some action in the sack, period. He might be perfect for someone else, if i'ts not your cup of tea then move on.

No, it doesn't have to go that way. I'm in a mutually fulfilling relationship where we both take care to make ourselves and each other happy.

(in reply to SexyPhoenix78)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/25/2012 8:13:52 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyPhoenix78

If my Dom wants to be with multiple people and I don't should I stay if I told him this is not
something I want?

He is a man. Wearing the title of Dom doesn't give him special priveledges over you unless
you allow him those priveledges. So no, you have no obligation to stay in a relationship that
involves things you are not wanting to do. Even if you never told him you weren't interested,
you always have the option of saying no and leaving.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyPhoenix78
Also, if my Dom has given me no real domming experiences, except to have sex with me
is he a real Dom?

He is as real a Dom as he is capable of being, I suppose. He just doesn't seem to meet what
your idea of a dominant man is., and not everyone will. You mention you are falling in love with
him, so I would be concerned about you spending more time with him while already knowing
this isn't a relationship you will get fulfillment from.

Welcome to the forum. Stick around and read some of the threads around here. There are alot
of things that you can find out about yourself and your desires. Best of luck.



_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to SexyPhoenix78)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/25/2012 8:20:30 PM   
SexyPhoenix78


Posts: 7
Status: offline 		No, he is not holding a gun to my head so I get the obvious point. Thank you for your response.

(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/25/2012 8:21:45 PM   
SexyPhoenix78


Posts: 7
Status: offline 		I put poly because I am interested in this particular part of the lifestyle. Yes, I have already dumped him.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/25/2012 8:24:17 PM   
SexyPhoenix78


Posts: 7
Status: offline 		Lizi,

Thank you for the advice. I want what you have, something mutually fulfilling. I take the advice you give and weigh it against my own sanity and I find it to be more than worth its salt:)

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/25/2012 8:26:13 PM   
SexyPhoenix78


Posts: 7
Status: offline 		Poise,

Thank you for your advice. I do need to read and learn a lot more before engaging in anything with anyone. I will do that.

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/25/2012 11:57:44 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		wait....you're interested in poly, your Master wants multiple partners but yet you say you don't.....I'm confused.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to SexyPhoenix78)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/26/2012 1:04:31 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyPhoenix78

I have a question that I don't understand. If my Dom wants to be with multiple people and I don't should I stay if I told him this is not something I want? Also, if my Dom has given me no real domming experiences, except to have sex with me is he a real Dom? I started falling in love with him, but felt he wanted to use me for sex and sexual experiences with others. Maybe this is how this is supposed to go, I'm not sure...Any advice would be very helpful.


Your dom wants multiple partners - you don't. Your "dom" seems only interested in sex - but you want dominance. Question; why are you settling for someone who can't give what you want?

You're the only one who can answer your questions.

FYI; a poly relationship involves 3 or more participants. You're either interested in poly or you're not - which is it? And trust me, no straight male dom is thinking 2m and 1f in the relationship - cocks don't think like that (real or metaphorical).

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to SexyPhoenix78)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/26/2012 6:46:08 AM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		You have to figure out what is acceptable to you and what isn't (basically, your needs and wants). Then, choose in the pool that you just created. Simple as that :)

_____________________________

_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._



(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/26/2012 7:56:36 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		I know what it is like to have someone have so much influence over you, where you start to give up your own core values.

Trust your gut hon, if before him this was not something you found intriguing, or thought about doing , I would advise you not do it.

Its a wonderful thing to give to someone, but not in the expense of losing yourself. These are things you ask advice on but basically its you who has the answers. If it doesnt make sense to you It isnt the right decision. Just my humble opinion.

(in reply to Buzzzz)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/26/2012 8:30:18 AM   
SexyPhoenix78


Posts: 7
Status: offline 		No, I am interested in learning more about poly. At the time he wanted to include people and I didn't want that because I don't understand it.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/26/2012 8:35:51 AM   
SexyPhoenix78


Posts: 7
Status: offline 		Thank you, Chatterbox and Buzzzz! I have had to reevaluate myself and my core values and I guess I was scared to leave someone I endeared as my first "Dom". After evaluating my wants and needs it seems that I was in love with the idea of wanting to be owned, loved, and cherished. The only thing I got was someone who wanted to sex me and other people. Hey you live and you learn...thanks everyone!

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/26/2012 8:58:43 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		I hope you find the perfect soul mate who treats you right. Your welcome sunshine.

(in reply to SexyPhoenix78)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/26/2012 9:01:11 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Even if you had the chemistry required to fall in love, that still doesn't mean he's someone who is a good fit for you. I suggest taking your time, learning about the lifestyle and deciding what you do and don't want.

There are lots of women here who have to ask permission to use the toilet. That's great for them but it wouldn't work for me. Luckily he isn't interested in that either.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to SexyPhoenix78)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/26/2012 9:48:44 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:


1) If my Dom wants to be with multiple people and I don't should I stay if I told him this is not something I want?

2) Also, if my Dom has given me no real domming experiences, except to have sex with me is he a real Dom?


1) No.
2) No.

Woo Hoo! I like these easy ones on a lazy beautiful Sunday. Guess my job is done here and it's time to head out. Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and I say it's all right.

< Message edited by Arturas -- 2/26/2012 9:51:18 AM >

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to SexyPhoenix78)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/26/2012 9:53:36 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

You are responsible for yourself. That means figuring out what you want, and then beinging with people that provide that to you. If you settle for less you are to blame. I am monogamous, if I met someone and didn't get to know him enough at first to see if he was monogamous as well, or if he changed later to say he wanted other partners, then I'd leave the relationship to find someone who suited me and what I wanted. Being submissive doesn't mean I just let people do whatever they want and call it Domination.


To me, it wouldn't be very Dominant to be with someone who simply wanted to have sex, I could find that walking down the street. If it satisfies you to be his bed partner then great, if not, then you need to find someone who is closer to what you think a Dominant is. It sounds to me like you found a horndog who wants some action in the sack, period. He might be perfect for someone else, if i'ts not your cup of tea then move on.

No, it doesn't have to go that way. I'm in a mutually fulfilling relationship where we both take care to make ourselves and each other happy.




To the OP:

I read that as "no" and "no". Woo Hoo! I'm getting so good at translating forumspeak. Am I right?

< Message edited by Arturas -- 2/26/2012 9:56:43 AM >

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/27/2012 12:09:24 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		No.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Multi-partner Dom??? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094