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RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/27/2012 12:41:25 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		are you happy? fulfilled? enjoying this relationship?

I think from what you've said, then the answer is no... and that means... its time to move on... no, that's now how its supposed to go.. unless you're happy, fulfilled... enjoying yourself

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to SexyPhoenix78)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/27/2012 12:45:06 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Perhaps you should hook up with the folks in T3WD ... a fairly active group in your area

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to SexyPhoenix78)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/27/2012 7:29:44 PM   
SoftBonds


Posts: 862
Joined: 2/10/2012
Status: offline 		To the OP. If you are willing to share a dom with another woman, there are a zillion couples that would pounce on you (not me though, personal issues). Why would you stick with someone who seems to have no experience, no desire to meet your needs, and who seems to only care about himself?
Go forth to Collarme and Conquer!

_____________________________

Elite Thread Hijacker!
Ignored: ThompsonX, RealOne (so folks know why I don't reply)

The last poster is often not the "winner," of the thread, just the one who was most annoying.

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/27/2012 9:50:31 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		If my Dom wants to be with multiple people and I don't should I stay if I told him this is not something I want?
Who cares what you told him? The only thing that matters here is whether you think, on the balance, that being with him is worth the multiple partners thing or not. It isn't complicated. There is no "should". Why on earth would you stay in a relationship which isn't making you happy? Of course, if the relationship does make you happy then yes, you have to sacrifice. That is in the nature of relationships. But who else other than you can figure out if it all nets out positive?

Also, if my Dom has given me no real domming experiences, except to have sex with me is he a real Dom?
There is no such thing as a "real dom". Get over it. Since you are new let me take this moment to urge you to forget you ever heard the phrases "real dom" or "real sub". Using such phrase marks you as, at best, inexperienced and at worst parochial. He wasn't what you were looking for.

it seems that I was in love with the idea of wanting to be owned, loved, and cherished
~chuckles~ Don't feel bad. I'd say that happens REGULARLY on both sides of the leash. Just learn from it. The biggest thing for you to learn here is that there are no rules. There's no play book. You can't really educate yourself and trying to do so is only going to mess you up. You have to live your life and do your best to make it pleasing for yourself. Find some guy who's kinky enough for you and otherwise you think is an honorable guy then you've won -- no learning required. I know the whole "getting trained" meme is really hot for you subs but it's only a fantasy (in this context).

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to SexyPhoenix78)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/27/2012 9:53:30 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyPhoenix78

No, I am interested in learning more about poly. At the time he wanted to include people and I didn't want that because I don't understand it.


Poly is a relationship that involves 3 or more people. If it's just sex with three or more people, that's not Poly, just sex.

(in reply to SexyPhoenix78)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/28/2012 4:03:32 PM   
NtwoU


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/16/2011
Status: offline 		Unfortunately "dom" has many meaning and definitions. A book I LOVE (Conquer Me) says "she can't submit if He doesn't dominate".
There's "active" and "passive" dominance. Some subs do well and are ok with passive doms. Your Dom may well be "dom" but maybe "passive. Meaning he accepts your submission when you offer it. An active dom will give you opportunities to be submissive.
I'd suggest getting Conquer Me. It's around $12 at adult bookstores. You can also get it on Amazon.
As far as him wanting multi partners......was it discussed as a "hard limit" for you? You can always re-negotiate your limits.


(in reply to SexyPhoenix78)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/28/2012 7:12:54 PM   
SirWforkitten


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/22/2011
Status: offline 		Adding My 2 cents worth here.  A true Dom/Master, wants to bring out of you all that he can.  Sex may or not be a part of it granted.  What about endorphin rushes, flogging, paddling, a nice ass spanking, , rules, communication, Safe, Sane and Consensual or even a rotation around with a Wartenberg wheel. A  Dom knows how to bring out of his sub  all that she needs to be fulfilled to further her feelings of submission.  Just a thought. Cheers Sir W


_____________________________

SirW for kitten

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 2/29/2012 7:42:04 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		FR:

Do what you want to do, fuck everything else.

No other 'rules' beyond that. You make your own guidelines, and only should you CHOOSE to follow someone elses, do they apply.

Edit to add: Just be aware of what the consequences of your choices are, and make sure they jive with what you ultimately want.

< Message edited by ProlificNeeds -- 2/29/2012 7:43:22 AM >

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 3/2/2012 2:20:05 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyPhoenix78

No, I am interested in learning more about poly. At the time he wanted to include people and I didn't want that because I don't understand it.


You'll find a section on the board devoted to poly.

A lot of different posters with different perspectives, many of whom have contributed very useful posts with much insight and experience, and plenty of good discussions. You might want to crawl back through the archives there, too. The long and short of it is that there's no such thing as one size that fits all in poly.

Welcome. Enjoy your stay.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to SexyPhoenix78)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 3/2/2012 5:42:56 AM   
SoftBonds


Posts: 862
Joined: 2/10/2012
Status: offline 		Poly means that you and two (or more) others have a long-term, committed relationship. There are some risks. After all, if one person in a two-party relationship can cheat, and can get an STD, imagine what happens to that risk as you increase the number of parties. That said, with the right group, you can decrease that risk, since there is "variety," within the group, hence less reason to cheat.
It is also nice for folks who are bisexual (you can have both types without cheating) or for couples who have different sex drives (think exceptionally horny 35 year old woman, and 35 year old man in testosterone decline).
But it should be about love, or at least like, not just about your dom getting his rocks off.

_____________________________

Elite Thread Hijacker!
Ignored: ThompsonX, RealOne (so folks know why I don't reply)

The last poster is often not the "winner," of the thread, just the one who was most annoying.

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 3/2/2012 11:36:33 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirWforkitten

Adding My 2 cents worth here.  A true Dom/Master, wants to bring out of you all that he can.  Sex may or not be a part of it granted.  What about endorphin rushes, flogging, paddling, a nice ass spanking, , rules, communication, Safe, Sane and Consensual or even a rotation around with a Wartenberg wheel. A  Dom knows how to bring out of his sub  all that she needs to be fulfilled to further her feelings of submission.  Just a thought. Cheers Sir W



The part I bolded doesn't demonstrate dominance, just topping.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to SirWforkitten)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Multi-partner Dom??? - 3/3/2012 9:30:45 PM   
SirWforkitten


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/22/2011
Status: offline 		Agreed. My D/s relationship deals with both Dominance and "topping". I do sometimes forget there is a delineation between the two as mine melds it all into the relationship. Good point.

< Message edited by SirWforkitten -- 3/3/2012 9:31:15 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 32
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