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RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/10/2012 10:31:01 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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I still say I know why I am who I am, regardless of the pyscoanalytic theory. And ive had therapists agree with my statement of why I am who I am. But that's just me. I hijacked the thought there Lol sorry.

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Post #: 21

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/10/2012 11:32:48 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelOfSilence

quote:

Yes.
Great. What's your degree?

Years of self analysis and an in depth understanding of who I am, what makes me tick, and why I do the things I do. A full exploration and understanding of self, and why I chose to go down the path I have.

And it has nothing to do with an electra complex.

You can cite psychoanalytic theory all you want. It's a theory. And certainly not one that can be applied across the board to everyone. Particularly to people you have never met or even spoken to.

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Post #: 22

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/10/2012 11:37:12 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelOfSilence

quote:

she does know herself,
Not according to psychoanalytic theory. If we did know ourselves they would be out of work.

You are making assumptions.

How do you know whether or not I've spent significant time in therapy in the past, enough to know myself, enough for a therapist and I to have mutually decided and agreed I no longer needed such services?

There are always new patients. There will always be work.

Try to see the bigger picture. There are lots of possibilities in people, not just what the books you've read say.

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Post #: 23

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/10/2012 11:41:39 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I hijacked the thought there Lol sorry.

I don't think you hijacked anything. There are volumes of Daddy Dom threads on CM which contain all sorts of theories, assumptions and accusations of why people are involved in these types of relationships, and this is no different. This happens in all Daddy Dom threads.

So here we are, again, explaining why there are many brushes with which to paint, not just one.

Plus, the OP wrote this thread months ago, so hopefully found the answers she was looking for.

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Post #: 24

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/11/2012 4:54:04 AM

AngelOfSilence

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Ah, so you lied, you're not qualified. Thanks.

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Post #: 25

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/11/2012 5:13:11 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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<has to laugh.> So sorry, Freudian psychoanalysis has been abandoned by serious, scientific psychology. It turned out to be a non-empirical mess from which very little was salvageable.

But, you know, carry on.

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Post #: 26

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/11/2012 6:50:01 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelOfSilence

Ah, so you lied, you're not qualified. Thanks.

Oh I see. You limit the definition of "qualified" to having particular letters after a name. Isn't that rather limited? I mean, if that's the case, who here is "qualified" to practice BDSM? Do you think anyone with broader definitions than you is a liar?

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Post #: 27

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/11/2012 9:54:43 PM

AngelOfSilence

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The Electra complex isn't Freudian, its Jungian.

Edited to remove excess snark.

< Message edited by AngelOfSilence -- 5/11/2012 10:06:42 PM >

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Post #: 28

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/11/2012 9:57:58 PM

AngelOfSilence

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Yes when dealing with psychiatric diagnoses, I limit the definition of qualified by the letters after one's name. I recommend, that should you ever seek therapy, you do the same.

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Post #: 29

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/12/2012 7:11:30 AM

Buzzzz

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Sheesh. If we need to have a degree on anything to have an opinion and do stuff, we wouldn't be doing anything.

Speaking of which, how about the people on their way to getting that degree ( for example , they will pass tomorrow but don't know it yet because they didn't receive the letter yet)? Are they also not qualified?

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Post #: 30

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/12/2012 4:52:52 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelOfSilence

Yes when dealing with psychiatric diagnoses, I limit the definition of qualified by the letters after one's name. I recommend, that should you ever seek therapy, you do the same.

You missed some of what I wrote, then. I have spent significant time in therapy and self analysis - with very experienced professionals who have letters after their names - and there has been no diagnosis of electra complex.

I know it's hard for some to comprehend that others can actually achieve self awareness, but it is possible. Those who have not achieved it tend to be the most doubtful, of course.

In any case, I'm not here to argue the topic. I know this particular diagnosis does not apply to me, and I'm good with that. You can come to your own conclusions, and I'm good with that, too.

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Post #: 31

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/14/2012 1:26:05 AM

AngelOfSilence

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quote:

You missed some of what I wrote

No I didn't. You didn't say anything about being in therapy, all you said was

quote:

Years of self analysis and an in depth understanding of who I am, what makes me tick, and why I do the things I do. A full exploration and understanding of self, and why I chose to go down the path I have.

In short, I don't believe you at all as your story keeps changing.
Thank you, goodbye.

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Post #: 32

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/14/2012 1:43:15 AM

SpanishMatMaster

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Hello.

Ok... I did not participate for months, but this really called my attention.

1. For me, the daddy / daughter dynamic is not about incest, but it is about superiority, love, care and discipline. I enjoy it, even if I do not need it to be sexually happy.

2. A "theory" in science is not something unproved, it can be proved and still be a theory, like the Theory of Gravity or the Theory of Fluids. Some are proved, some unproved.

3. The Electra complex does belong to the psychoanalytic theory, even if formulated by Jung.

4. The psychoanalytic theory has been indeed discarded as such in modern psychology, even if it has strongly influenced other models and meta-models in modern psychology and psychiatry. The psychoanalytic theory was unable to make predictions (Freud, "Die endliche und unendliche Analyse") and was therefore not really a theory at all (Popper, "Logik der Forschung").

5. "I have no Electra complex" is not a diagnostic, it is an opinion. It can be the result of a diagnostic, but this is not always the case, and we cannot expect everybody here to have a degree about everything we say - for example, who is here a qualified sexologist? Or, to be more ironic - shouldn't the person who says, that we need a degree to be qualified to say something, not be qualified to say so? For example with a degree on sociology or on epistemology.

6. Nothing can be completely known (Heisenberg), and of course not such a complex system as a mind. We can still be reasonable aware of ourselves.

Best regards.

< Message edited by SpanishMatMaster -- 5/14/2012 1:51:25 AM >

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Post #: 33

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/14/2012 2:02:57 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelOfSilence
In short, I don't believe you at all as your story keeps changing.
Thank you, goodbye.

I think, sometimes, things get lost in translation. NuevaVida has been here for a very long time and has posted openly and honestly about her journey and her therapy. (Long time regs know that NuevaVida as a screen name came into existance because she, literally, created a new life for herself.. and continues to do so and thrives on the process.

Perhaps she missed that 'you' are pretty new and maybe didn't think about the fact that you might not actually have already just known that but as someone who knows her off-line, who has watched her struggles and her amazing growth, lots of us are very proud of her and her story is real.

She and I.. we've sobbed on the phone too often, shared too much together .. hell, she went to my daughters wedding with me .. for me to just sit back and have the posts about her journey called lies when I was lucky enough to share at least a small portion of that journey with her and know it, for a fact, to be true.

She is still learning (as are we all) but she has much to share almost all of it positive and as far as I am concerned you would do a whole lot better to see her as an example and role model to emulate rather than someone who should be dismissed out of hand because of a very narrow definition of 'qualified' which you hold but which is certainly not held by everyone.

I hope you rethink your dismal of her given the new information you have which is easily checked by an archival search and maybe you'll see what a whole bunch of the rest of us already know.. NV rocks it and I'm damn proud to call her my friend.

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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Post #: 34

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/14/2012 6:21:01 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

How do you know whether or not I've spent significant time in therapy in the past, enough to know myself, enough for a therapist and I to have mutually decided and agreed I no longer needed such services?

Bita, you rock, and I love you, and not a day goes by that I am not grateful to you. And I'm not at all concerned about being called a liar. You're right, she doesn't know me. And yes she is new, but what I've seen of her so far (not just this thread) has been one-liners posted here and there, criticizing what others do, with no real explanation of where she's coming from. Such criticisms hold no weight in my world.

Angel, the above is the part you missed.

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Post #: 35

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/14/2012 6:29:13 AM

JanahX

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NV - dont let him bait you. Hes troLLLLLLin.

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Post #: 36

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/14/2012 6:44:31 AM

NuevaVida

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Post #: 37

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/14/2012 7:13:14 AM

NuevaVida

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I do want to speak a little more on Daddy Doms/little girls, though, at least from my own perspective, and how I got here.

I've never sought out a Daddy Dom. Years and years ago, I spent a lot of time on line/on the phone with a dominant man who saw himself as a "Daddy." The idea back then squicked me out. I have a Dad, thank you, and he was a rockin father, and I didn't have any "father issues" with him, at all. In fact, in the last days of his life we had some amazing conversations and there were no unresolved issues between us. He was a very good man.

I went from a very long, crappy marriage to a very sadistic master who got off on cruelty. And I got off on his cruelty because I liked the challenge of seeing how much I could take (I found out, heh). After that I dated a couple of dominant guys, neither of whom were "Daddy's" - just cool, strong men who were NOT cruel, and not so sadistic. We wanted different things out of life so we parted ways with no hard feelings. But those experiences taught me that the "cruelty" chapter of my life was pretty much over - I just didn't have an interest in it anymore.

I was rather enjoying being single and was certainly not looking to be owned, as I was enjoying managing my own life and having an awesome time.

When he who is now my Daddy came into my life, it was a long and careful process to establish a trusting relationship, because I didn't really need a relationship, nor was I that interested in being in one. But he's a pretty damn cool man, and kind, and gentle, and our conversations were so enjoyable we just naturally meshed.

When he told me he was a "Daddy" and wanted this type of relationship, I figured "Hmm, well OK, I can try this out" and went forward with it. This dynamic brought out parts of me I hadn't experienced before, and it was fascinating and enjoyable to get to know yet another side of myself. Plus, I find I just relax a whole lot more with less cruelty. What can I say - I'm laughing all the time, brimming with love, and enjoying being fully accepted and loved for just being me. He finds my quirks amusing, and encourages me to get everything I can out of life.

He is gentle and nurturing and patient and loving. This is his "Daddy" nature, and it brings a tenderness and playfulness out in me that suits me. It's pretty damn awesome. Couple that with his amazing way of exercising authority over me, well what more could I ask for?

So when I see thread after thread (because it's a subject that does come up pretty frequently) with people who are *not* in Daddy/girl type dynamics, stating a myriad of opinions about them which don't at all relate to my own relationship, I think, "Well OK, but that's not how it is over here." Because as long-term posters can probably attest, in every Daddy Dom thread, there's someone insisting on some reason why such dynamics exist - whatever the theory of the day is. And those of us in such dynamics either get tired of it, amused by it, or just don't really care about it anymore. I figure, Eh, theorize all ya want, I'll be over here enjoying the hell out of my life.

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Post #: 38

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/14/2012 7:20:40 AM

LadyHibiscus

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As an Auntie who found out that she's a Daddy in disguise...well... it's a world of folks! If we're all enjoying it, yay!

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Post #: 39

RE: the name Daddy Dom and the appeal of it - 5/14/2012 7:27:01 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

As an Auntie who found out that she's a Daddy in disguise...well... it's a world of folks! If we're all enjoying it, yay!

Does this make you Auntie Daddy?

You know, I did want to add, though, I don't think theorizing is a bad thing - any time a *new* theory is presented, it causes me to think about it, and weight it against my own experience. What's really refreshing is when some cool back and forth dialogue can come from it.

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Post #: 40

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